All Comments on 'Two Weeks a Slave'

I like where this is going. I really hope to read more or this story.

Really excellent read with cohesive flow and very few grammatical & spelling errors, keep it up! Hopefully you add more sexual scenes in the next chapter.

I am really hoping that this isn't a one off. It has so much potential with a myriad of directions to choose from. My favorite being Mr Dollar introducing her to the pleasures of BDSM only for the surprise being that the collar's unnecessary. She's a natural submissive and I would love to see that honored instead of exploited. Any man can over power a woman and take what he wants but real men know the triumph is in having the woman offer her submission willingly. If Mr Dollar is under the impression that she volunteered to "play" slut for two weeks, instead of being tricked into it, perhaps his involvement could be redeemed by helping her expose the evil "Fuck Puppet" program. I know I know I know... But even a kinky slut like myself can hope for a romantic ending. What is sadder than a bit horny and willing submissive without a deserving Dom?

This is absolutely incredible!! Hope you continue!

Good start, this has potential. But please, please, don’t use “whilst” again? Every story seems to have that word lately, not sure why it stands out so jarringly.

Both while and whilst have been in the language for a very long time. While was in use in Old English; whilst is a Middle English development of while. As conjunctions they are interchangeable in meaning, but whilst has not survived in standard American English.

I think the clue here is 'American English'. I might as well criticise US authors for writing 'ass' instead of 'arse', it would be just as invalid and rude.

I agree; there's a lot of potential here. I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with Sara. By the way, I love your picture. There is something so sexy about a man in a kilt. Always makes me want to go exploring ...

Thanks for the comments and encouragement. I hope to (at least) start work on Part 2 this week. Any suggestions as to what torments Sara should be subjected to?

I thought it was very realistically done when you described her emotions and the way her behavior changed as her settings were changed. For some reason, I really like these technology-based mind-control stories. What makes them scary and intense is that I can imagine a future in which this sort of tech is real.

I'm looking forward to Chapter 2.

That is basically what this is. Sorry but 1 star for that.

Need A part 2

She can walk away free and clear and sue the bastards for everything, breach of contract because she remembers. She just has to get to a public space first.

Truly awful story, it’s just rape and abuse by another name. Aside from the physical things she thought she was signing up for why would anyone sign up for mind rape as well? Its not knowing the details afterwards that eat away at you.

I was hoping for a fun sexy story, can’t have everything I suppose.