All Comments on 'TXR-92U-2280 – Call Name: Sara Pt. 03'

The whole is very nice. Sara is developed and thee other people fit nice. But the end of page two the last bit about the ball twam, it just dose not fit. The transition to it a weak.

The last scene tells us that Sara has survived and is back to work. It serves as an Ironic foil to Gabriel's comment about her having life easy. If it was the end of Sara's tale altogether, then I would agree, it would be a limp ending, but I think you should give the author the benefit of the doubt and allow for the possibility it is just setting things up for the next instalment (I hope!) Pure nitpicking to criticise this element. The bit where Sara steps out on to the walkway and has her indoor attuned senses assaulted by the rawness of the real world is quite brilliant and would make up for a bucket load of weaker moments - if there were any.

and I liked how she felt guilt for humiliating a fellow slave, but the ending seemed very abrupt. Hopefully a forthcoming Chapter 4 will fix that.

BTW, you might wish to have the title edited and add a "Pt. 03" so it remains part of the continuum.

When is Sara next adventure going to start.

Very Good!!! Would like more.