U-N-I Ch. 05

"Come on, we don't wanna know about you two doing it," he said.

"Well, I just asked him if he was gay, and it just snowballed from there," I explained with a laugh.

He raised his eyebrows and seemed thoughtful,

"Well, thank god I didn't have to ask you then!" he joked.

We laughed and I added quietly,

"I actually wanted something to happen, Jord!"

"Ohhh! So you knew you were gay!"

I shook my head,

"Not really, no. I just... wanted..." I looked at Rob and he said, laughingly

"You just wanted me!'

"Oh god, I think we've heard enough!" Damon exclaimed, and then he asked with curiosity, "Have you actually told Rachel?"

"Yeah, she knows everything." I admitted.

"Really? I asked her what happened between the two of you but she wouldn't say."

I smiled and turned to Rob,

"See, told you she wouldn't say anything."

He just shrugged.

"How did she take it? I mean, she came over to my place, like on Wednesday, and she cried on my shoulder the whole evening you know, and she just wouldn't explain anything."

"Sorry," I apologised, "I haven't talked to her since then. I couldn't. It was hard enough breaking up with her. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

"Well, I guess, now that we all know, we can maybe make it easier for her."

"Do you still... love her?" he asked timidly.

"I'm not in love with her anymore. I'm not even sure I ever really was ... it's not..." Rob was looking at me and I looked into his eyes, wanting to say that what I felt for him was a lot stronger that what I had ever felt for her, and that I now knew what it really felt like to be in love with someone, but I didn't really want to get into that kind of detail with them. I kind of had the feeling that they understood, so I didn't add anything. "But I do love her though. I just can't be ... her boyfriend anymore."

Damon sighed. "That's gotta be tough for her."

"I know. But...what else can I do? I've been lying to her for the past two months, she deserved to know."

"I'll talk to her," he promised.

"Thanks. I hope she'll be okay."

"Are you gonna tell your parents?" Dylan asked.

Jordan laughed,

"You want him to get killed?" he asked him, pointing at me.

"I was thinking about Rob!" he said.

"No way," Rob told them, "I'm not ready to do that. But I kinda think my mum's suspecting something. She may have -- heard stuff," he chucked.

I did too and agreed with him. She probably was, but so far, she hadn't confronted us with it.

"Jeez, I swear Mark, be careful, like, make sure your dad doesn't find out and Thomas also," Dylan recommended to me, my brother being one hell of an asshole as well.

He was always aggressive and disrespectful. He never shared anything with me and always blamed everything bad he did on me to get me in trouble, and it would always work. He knew my father would be on his side no matter what. I was the bad son and he was the good one and he'd always taken advantage of this. My father would never hit him. He would always approve of everything Thomas did and I had never been able to figure out why. He hated me, but he loved Thomas. Everything I did, everything I said was wrong, and Thomas and I, we simply didn't have the same father. He treated the two of us in completely different ways. I knew there had to be a reason for that. Maybe Thomas was simply more like him, as they shared the same interests. Maybe he had been able to connect with our father, and I hadn't. I guess my father had always believed that I would never amount to much. I was a dreamer... and I was pretty sure he still thought that what I wanted to do with my life was useless to society. We didn't live on the same planet and I believed that neither did Thomas and I.

I let out a chuckle,

"Yeah, I'll be careful. I'll be out of that house soon anyway. I already am! And they don't give a shit! I've barely slept there for the past two months, and nobody's asking any questions. Once we leave, I'm never going back!"

"Good call!" Jordan said. "But if anything happens, you know we have your back!" Jordan said to me and I smiled, thankful to have such good friends.

Fortunately for me, my family never found out and when we finally moved out of our parents' homes to promote our first album, nothing had happened.

After we had finished our drink, Jordan went back to the bar and I went with him.

"So, are you sure?" he asked as we were waiting for our drinks.

"Dude, I never would've broken up with Rach if I hadn't been sure. Don't ask me to explain it, alright."

He nodded. "Hey, that's cool, man. You need to do what's right for you. I'm not even that surprised you know."

"You're not?"

"Rob's gay, I knew that. You knew that. It was obvious he was into you. I didn't think you were -- gay -- I mean -- but I've always wondered though -- about you too."

"You have?" I frowned.

"Yeah," he confirmed. "I've wondered. I guess I was right. You're my best friend, and I can sense these things. You know what, it makes sense that you'd want to be together, I get that."

The bartender came back with our drinks. Jordan grabbed them and handed me one of the glasses.

"Cheers, faggot!" he said laughing -- his way of telling me that he was cool with it.

I chuckled. I loved that about Jordan. He was such a great friend. We could say anything to each other and know instantly whether we were serious or joking. Nothing was ever misinterpreted. He was super open-minded too. He just wanted to have a laugh, enjoy the people around him and just enjoy the day with anyone he was with, gay, straight, or whatever, it was all lovely to him.

--------

We started college in October and worked in the studio until Rob and I turned 19 in May. We mostly worked there at weekends, sometimes in the evening, during holiday breaks and to be honest we often skipped lessons to play. We continued playing live gigs. To make a long story short, we were extremely busy.

And in July, almost a year after having entered the studio for the first time, the album was out! And it turned out to be so much better because of what was happening between Robbie and me.

The first single out of it was actually 'Yellow'. Funny that I didn't even want it on the album when I wrote it. It was an immediate hit.

After writing "Yellow," our experience of our time in the studio became very different. We were not in there to record and improve already written songs, we were also in there to create new ones. And so the recording lasted a lot longer than planned in the first place.

I decided to stop being afraid. I took all of the melodies I had scribbled and songs started to emerge. Great songs.

Rob and I worked a lot on them alone, and then, it was like a production line. We would start off with the basis of a song like chords and a melody and maybe some lyrics, and then when we took the song ideas to the guys, if they approved, we would all work together on them and it would just kind of develop and evolve; after a while everything just added up. This whole process was so exciting and exhilarating to us. Each of us would add their own stuff until it all sparked off, and our songwriting process felt like a big chemical reaction.

Rob and I wrote lyrics that seemed to flow so naturally, about us, about how we felt, about our newfound relationship. Of course, we tried to keep a detached approach and to make them universal so that everybody would be able to relate to them.

Five songs were added to the tracklist, and others were discarded.

We composed "Green Eyes" which was a bit cheesy and obviously inspired by Rob's eyes, but it was a great ballad. The lyrics were actually more meant for me. He told me he wanted to be able to think of me while singing the song and I did have green eyes as well. It was really about the both of us depending on the lyrics. It was also nice to be out to our friends, and therefore to be able to write songs about our relationship without having to explain ourselves. The main lyrics went like this,

Honey you are a rock

Upon which I stand

And I come here to talk

I hope you understand

The green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you

And how could anybody deny you

.....

We had a hard time finding the right way to play a song we called "In my Place" and spent a long time writing and recording this one together.

In the lyrics, we tried to translate our feelings in the most subtle and simplest way possible, our fear of being gay, of saying it out loud, of admitting our true feelings to each other.

In my place, in my place

Were lines that I couldn't change

I was lost, oh yeah

Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed

I was lost, oh yeah

I was scared, I was scared

Tired and under prepared

But I wait for it

We wrote another ballad, "Trouble", which was a very melodic song. It revolved round the piano, combined with my guitar work. The result was stunning. Then the drums and the bass sounds added a dramatic effect. Rob's vocal was powerful and full of genuine emotions. It was about Rachel in a way, but also about Rob, and just the fact that being gay might get us into a bit of trouble in the future.

The chorus was,

And I never meant to cause you trouble

And I never meant to do you wrong

And well if I ever caused you trouble

Oh no I never meant to do you harm

And finally, Rob had written the lyrics to the last one.

We called it "A Rush Of Blood To The Head" and it was about him wanting to protect me from that hell hole house I had to grow up in. It was about my family, about my emotionally abusive parents and all that they had put me through growing up, the physical violence, the bruises, the threatening, the screaming, the lack of parental care and love that would have probably left me scarred for life if I hadn't been able to escape to Rob's.

It was a way of getting revenge for how they had treated me over the years. I absolutely loved it, I really did, I couldn't get enough of listening to him sing these lyrics. It may not have been the best song of the album for some, but it was definitely my favourite.

When the album was out and critiques started being written, this is what you could read about this song:- Completely extraordinary. This song is marvellously written and simmers slowly for two minutes or so before exploding into life with pure emotion that drags you in. This is the most powerful song on this debut album, Politik being a close second, with a chorus that can probably be heard from Mars, and deserves to be recognised as a classic.

Yep, about right! The lyrics went like this,

You said I'm gonna buy this place and burn it down

I'm gonna put it six feet underground

.....

Oh I'm gonna buy this place and start a fire

Stand here until I fill all your hearts desires

Because I'm gonna buy this place and see it burn

And do back the things it did to you in return.

This last line right there caused me to cry a little when he wrote it, and still moves me to this day. It went on like that, gaining power as the song progressed.

All the other tracks were songs we had already written and that we improved during the recording, such as Shiver, Sparks, Clocks, Spies and Politik, that the guy from BMG had loved so much.

The whole album got really enthusiastic reviews from music magazines. It was what mattered the most to us, so we were overly thrilled. There were obviously critics too, and we had read some stuff that really hurt, but the music journalists were mostly very positive and we tried to not let any of the bad ones get to us.

Throughout the Internet, you could read short reviews of the album published by fans, which left us speechless. It was so lovely to read how much they already loved us. A few of my favourites were,

"This album is one of the best debut album ever. Every song's meaningful and potentially can be single (not only Yellow, Politik, Shiver). This is pure music art. These five guys are so ridiculously hot and talented"

"Their debut album secret arsenal comprises frontman Robbie Myers 's voice -- Mark Emery's terrific electric guitar riffs- Dylan Lane's phenomenal piano skills and some persuasive melodies. Certain albums are timeless, this is one of them. This album will go down in history as one of the greatest"

" An album full of otherworldly music. The sad feelings that eminate from 'Trouble's' guitar chords... The joy that is 'Yellow'... The tribute to a lover that is 'Green eyes'. . . The electricity of 'Shiver' (My favorite song of the whole album). . . the fantastic pop tune that is 'In my place'. . . The drama of 'Politik' . . The mesmerizing chorus of 'A rush of blood'. . . The beautiful piano and emotional and epic effect of 'Clocks'. . . the bass line and beauty of 'Sparks'...! This is a superb album that might just capture your heart and your imagination. I LOVE it! I find myself replaying this endlessly.

Let me talk more about two songs, first 'A rush of blood' actually gives me a rush of blood to the head. I don't know how a song can make you happy by making you sad, but this one does it. Simply amazing. Secondly, 'Shiver', the fantastic heartbreaking vocals, the lyrics which cut straight through the heart. This song carries you through adolescence, falling in and out of love, the song is the first song where I felt like someone else got me, got my adolescent pain of just wanting to be loved and wanting to give love."

"This is a very impressive and strong debut album for such a young band. Every track is excellent but among the most noteworthy is Yellow, A rush of blood, Shiver, and Politik. It recalls U2's'The Joshua Tree', and not just for its stunning guitar work but for its wild passion and spiraling tension-and-release dynamics. It sets an incredible standard that the band will have to keep up. I can't believe they're not even twenty years old yet! They can still grow and evolve so much more! Good luck to them"

"Wow....it doesn't get any better than this. A masterpiece. If you have not bought this album yet, I recommend it very highly as it contains some truly wonderful moments that will catapult U-N-I into rock's super league. Their new album is predicted in a couple of years, and could well raise the bar still further. If you get the chance as well, see them live. They put on a great show and Robbie has immense charisma."

"Well, this is really good. By listening to their music, it feels as if they have been in the music scene for years and years. But, the truth of it is it's just their first album and I'm telling you, they're here to stay for a long long time indeed. Way to go, U-N-I. I'm a hard rock/hip-hop fan, so I don't listen to your type of music all that much. But even I can say this album is awesome. When it's all said and done, this will go down as the album of the decade because of its universal likability"

" In a word: brilliant. This album is stunningly beautiful and powerful. It is exciting and intelligent from start to finish. Impressive accomplishment. This is one of those albums that takes multiple listens and has a lasting appeal. One of those albums that will truly change your life, all of these songs are ones that you can listen to over and over and never get tired of"

"This debut album is, without doubt, a fantastic achievement. But for me, that's not the point. People can rave about the album's sales, or maybe complain about the band drawing heavy influences and therefore coming off as unoriginal. But it's how the music makes you feel, how it reaches you, that matters. That, to me, is more important than anything. The album is a beautifully compelling album, with a variety of songs that evoke different emotions from me every time I listen to them. What more can I say? It's an incredible album "

Needless to say, we were all over the place as soon as the album was released, and much to our amazement, it reached number 1 two weeks after its release. We were over the moon. I don't think we had fully realized how good our songs were and sounded to others. We were still very reticent about them and we didn't feel that they were that good. We couldn't get our heads around the immediate success the album received.

And it was just the beginning, now it was going to be all about promoting, touring and growing as a band. We couldn't wait.