U-N-I Ch. 14 - Part 03

He finally looked at me,

"Rob, I'd love to believe that, but we both know you're not gonna keep any promises for very long."

"I will. I promise you. You're right, I went too far last night. I'm totally with you on that one."

"Just last night?"

"No... but, I swear, I'm fine. I've got it under control."

He sighed and shook his head.

"Do you? God! I know you don't wanna admit that you're sick of it! 'Cos who are we to complain, right? We're living the dream!" he exclaimed.

I just looked at him, unable to find something to say. He could see right through me. He knew what was going on in my head, maybe even better than I did.

"But you're not enjoying it anymore. And you haven't been enjoying it for a while now. You just struggle with it... You're lying to yourself if you really think that you've got it under control. You don't. You're not yourself and we don't know what to do anymore. 'Cause you think we're just busting your balls for no reasons. Like everybody's after you. Even I am, right? You can't catch a break, can you? You really think we don't see what you're going through."

"It's not ..." I began saying, but couldn't really find something to say to contradict him, we both knew he was right, "I just need some time off I guess. To just have a normal life for a while," I admitted.

"Well, you can't have a normal life right now. Whatever we do, you're too famous to have a normal life. What you need is to learn how to deal with it better than you are at the moment. You're not happy right now. You're becoming self-destructive. How are we supposed to finish writing the album and go back on tour if you're feeling like this? You can't do it. It's just gonna get worse. You need to be around people who know how to help you."

I tried to reassure him as best as I could but I was indeed lying to myself,

"I don't need help, Mark, I'll be fine. I can handle it. I'm not a ticking time bomb. I can do it."

"High on drugs?" I asked. "Yeah, you can probably do that. But at what cost? I swear, I don't know what to do to help you enjoy it again without you feeling the need to get high. You know what? I'm too close to you. We all are. The help you need, none of us can give it to you."

I didn't want to talk anymore. I hesitantly tried to hug him against me. He didn't fight it this time, he embraced me and I could feel him relax. Maybe he wouldn't leave.

"Rob," he sighed as our hands began to grab at each other's backs.

I pulled back and pressed my lips against his cheek,

"I just need you," I whispered.

"No. You only think that you do," he said, his voice cracking, "but I'm not the one who can help you. And frankly, I wouldn't know how."

"Yes, you are." I said.

"No. I can't let you struggle with this and do nothing."

I didn't want to discuss the problems I was facing anymore. I just wanted to feel the same level of intimacy we had always had, afraid that it might not happen again in the near future. I used my hand to bring his mouth closer to mine. I began to kiss him. His lips were so warm to the touch, and he began to use his tongue in response to the way I was kissing him. I could immediately feel that he had given up on thinking. At that moment, I knew he wanted to stay with me and I felt like he was done trying to fight it. Although I prayed that the reason behind his change of behaviour wasn't that he knew it was the last time we'd be together in a while.

I knew I was trying to use sex in lieu of talking, but my mind was too numb from the over-thinking. I couldn't get into a deep conversation about my issues at that moment. Moreover, I was so scared of losing him and so sad for hurting him that it was all I could do to show him how bad I needed him. I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving me.

"Let's go back inside, alright?" I whispered, hoping he wouldn't tell me to fuck off, "Please," I said with a begging tone.

He hesitantly agreed and we slowly walked back into the room; he closed the door. I pushed him gently against it and I kissed him with some urgency, as if I knew we were going to be away from each other soon. My hips pressed up against his. I reached down with my hand and rubbed his penis through the thin fabric of his khakis.

"You smell so good," I said, smelling his neck and licking it down toward the hollow of his throat.

As we slowly stepped closer and closer to the bed, he pulled back for a second only to pull my t-shirt over my head. I could see his eyes take in every part of my chest and it made me feel a bit more confident that he wouldn't leave. There was still the same fire in his eyes. Then he leaned down and attacked it with his mouth and we fell onto the bed, him on top of me.

He pushed my jeans down and rubbed my cock to a full erection through my underwear. Then he pulled them down to my ankles as well and seemed to stare at my hard on for a moment before he devoured it, easily taking it down to its base.

"Oh God," I moaned.

He worked my cock with his mouth like a seasoned professional. His hands roamed back and forth from my chest to my thighs. I raised myself up a little and started rocking up and down, slowly fucking his face. He was moaning and slurping all over my cock. I watched his hands undo his belt and withdraw his gorgeous penis.

Replacing his mouth with his hand for a moment, he looked up at me and I looked down at his beautiful face. I grasped it and pulled him up. He took off his khakis completely, then his t shirt. He pulled it off and tossed it to the edge of the bed before he lay on top of me. The feeling of the full body contact was amazing.

He wrapped his arms tight around and underneath me. I held onto him for dear life, wishing I could consume him and he looked into my eyes. They were full of warmth and love, and I knew mine were begging him not to leave me. He raised himself up a little and my hand traveled to his abs, which were hard as rocks and I danced my fingers on them. I felt like I couldn't imagine not being able to feel his body against mine anymore. I loved him so much. I could only see him as perfection. He was gorgeous and I could never get tired of making love to him.

Then he pushed his chest against mine again and nuzzled his face into my neck. We began to slowly slide our bodies against each other, dry-humping if you will, enjoying the feel of one another.

I quickly let my hand slip to his lower back and run down the crack of his ass. My finger circled his smooth hole, feeling it expand and contract and I pushed it inside him. He whimpered and moaned as I slid it in and out. His hole relaxed and allowed me to push another finger inside. I massaged his hole and he just enjoyed the feeling as he quietly pressed his lips harder against my neck. He kept moaning and I knew what I wanted more than anything at that moment.

"Babe, Can I...?" no need to be a rocket scientist to figure out what I was asking him, considering I had my fingers inside him.

"Yeah..," he just sighed and raised himself up.

My hand left his ass, rubbed his cock and played with his balls,

"I want to suck you off first," I moaned.

He smiled at me and began sliding toward me, his cock leaving a sticky trail all the way up my body until it tried to find its way into my mouth.

"Oh yeah," he moaned, hovering above me as his cock slid along my tongue.

"Play with my ass, Rob," he pleaded.

I willingly complied and brought my fingers to my mouth to get them wet. I guided his cock back into my mouth before bringing my hand to his hole. I started pressing two fingers inside him while his cock slipped up and down my throat. He was in total ecstasy, his head thrown back, enjoying it on both sides. I was in quite a comfortable position and could probably have kept going for a long time, but his urgency was quickly becoming apparent.

"Rob," he asked with great need. "Where's the lube?"

"I don't know," I said, trying to guide his cock back into my mouth. He twisted around to look at my cock, hard as a rock against my stomach. Arriving at some sort of a quick decision he flipped around and attacked my cock with his mouth, moaning and licking around it, jacking it with his hand, forcing more and more precum out of it. His ass bounced up and down in front of my face and I continued to play with it as he soaked my pole. After my cock was well lubed with my own precum, he spun back around, straddled me and pressed my cock against his hole. Hearing him giving out a loud grunt, I felt the head of my cock pop into him, and then he began sliding down on it until he was seated on my pelvis. He was as tight as ever, and he began to slowly ride me, quickening his pace more and more.

"Oh babe," I cried, my cock responding to his pace.

His hands grabbed at my pecs and pinched at my nipples. My right hand wrapped around his cock and jerked him hard.

"Oh yeah, oh yeah," he moaned as I started to move my hips up and down and my cock slipped in and out of him fast.

It was becoming clear to me that he wanted to fuck one last time, but I didn't want that. I wanted to make love to him and make him stay.

I raised myself up and stopped him. I brought my lips to his and wrapped my arms around him. My cock slipped out of his ass and I lay him down gently on his back and just looked into his eyes for a moment. He understood and I smiled as I lay down next to him and hooked a hand under his knee, raising his leg. I gently entered him again, feeling his softness and warmth, my cock sliding across his insides.

Then, I pushed my face closer against his neck. I groaned as I pulled my cock out again and started to pump into him, deliciously. I nibbled at his neck and grabbed his cock. "You're so hard," I whispered, I loved the fact that he'd never lose his erection when I fucked him.

I raised his leg higher and penetrated him as much as I could, quickening my pace and fucking him a little harder. I rubbed his tight stomach and hard pecs a lot as I thrust inside him and jabbed at his prostate, trying to feel places in him I had never felt. Trying to make new memories. 'He won't leave me,' I tried to convince myself. 'He wouldn't.'

We made out as I pushed into him harder. We settled into this position for a while, Mark moaning with each thrust. I watched him, trying to memorize every inch of his body even though I knew it so well. I grasped his cock with my hand, sliding it up and down, causing him to cry out in pleasure and dribble precum all over my hand. Feeling him rock hard in my hand, I instantly felt the urge to have his cock inside me. If this was going to be the last time, I wanted to feel him in me as well. I withdrew from his ass and proceeded to lubricate his pole with my saliva and his pre-cum. Then, I straddled him and lowered my ass onto his cock. I kissed him passionately and held the back of his neck as he pushed himself into me, moving his hips upward. I moaned hard as I felt his cock slide into me.

I couldn't quite explain why I loved bottoming for him so much, but I did. If I thought of myself as being a top before we began having sex together, he turned me into a bottom, or a vers bottom. I just loved the way his penis opened me up, I loved how it made me feel and I couldn't get enough of it. Most of all, I loved giving him what he wanted, letting him service me in any way he wanted, hearing his moans of pleasure when he was fucking me and cumming inside me; there was no better feeling.

We moaned as I began to ride him. My pace started to quicken again and I could feel he was getting close. My cock was still rock hard, my balls drawn tightly against my body. He moaned my name and I felt the familiar urge building inside me,

"I'm close."

"Me too," he sighed.

My hand was moving quickly up and down my shaft,

"Babe, look at me," I said.

He did and we locked eyes, I knew from the way he looked at me that there was nothing but love and passion in my own,

"I love you," I said.

He stared at me,

"I love you," he said in a whisper as he began sliding his cock in and out of my ass fast again until he pulled out.

He jerked himself fast and pumped his load all over himself, causing me to shoot my load over his chest as well. I came hard and I kept moaning as cum continued to drip out of my cock. I moved down his body and wiped him off with a towel that been on the bed before going back up to kiss him.

Long after our orgasms had ended, we were still making out. I was holding him a bit tighter than usual, knowing that he might leave again at any second. Eventually I spooned myself against his chest and laced my fingers through his.

After a moment, he gently removed his hand and pushed my arm off his chest. He got off the bed and went to the bathroom. When he came out, he picked up his clothes from the floor and started getting dressed again. I shook my head slightly and sighed. I knew he was going to leave and I felt an overwhelming feeling of fear and sadness.

"Mark, babe, don't..." I begged him as I sat up on the bed.

He didn't answer, I could tell he didn't want to have another heart-to-heart. He was done talking and I knew there was nothing more I could do or say to make him stay this time.

He grabbed his suitcase by the door as he said,

"There's this place in LA called 'Promises'. I think you need to go there. Tom and Dylan will talk to you about it."

My eyebrows furrowed,

"You want me to go to rehab?" I asked, somewhat perplexed and immediately a bit on the defensive.

"Look, I'm not saying that you're an addict. You don't need rehab exactly. But this place, it'll be good for you. It's just a place where you can get the help you need, learn how to better deal with fame... just rest and focus on yourself for a while. Not on the band, not on me, just on yourself."

I stared at him and sighed.

"And you know what? I think I need some time to be by myself as well. There's things I need to do, and I need to do them alone."

I knew he was talking about going to meet his biological father, who he'd been in contact with, and maybe going back to Dublin to try talking to his mother again, and I felt hurt that he didn't want me with him for that.

"Please go to LA," he said insistently. "'Cause I'm not coming back until you do."

I watched him open the door and close it behind him. I didn't even move to chase after him this time. I knew he was right and I agreed with what he had said to me earlier but I didn't know where to begin. I felt sick to my stomach, knowing that I was hurting him and I had promised myself that I would never hurt him. I looked around the empty quiet room and suddenly felt alone and overwhelmed with sadness again as I began to feel tears form in my eyes.