All Comments on 'UCAC Ch. 04'

Thank you, keep writing. :)

WOW! Holy shit Batman! So worth the wait but frustrating for the next!

You broke my heart. I'm still really disturbed by the idea of liam reaching out screaming. And the with him seeing his mom. It was friggin heartbreaking. What I don't get is why Denver can't be sure Jarvis is done when he saw the vine and it's on tape. That makes no sense. I feel badly for Denver, but why would they send someone who was acting off the rails and suicidal at this point to a place that they described as suicidal? How could they send him in that shape? I feel badly for Marcel and the others too. They needed someone to unite them. But, what bothered me is that Denver never gave a speech to tell them to work as a team and get them to see that what they were doing by being so disjointed was dangerous. He knew they were in danger b/c of how they were acting, but only made comments here and there.

I can't place Malcolm. I still wish you'd call them by either their raptor or reg name all the time. If it were five characters, it would work fine. But, if you now introduce us to a cast in America and have two names for each, it will leave readers lost. Why did the powers that be not warn them of what they were facing in this mission? Why not give them as much info as they have? If they knew a plant with powers existed, and they had to know something about it, why not warn them? Sending your team in not knowing would put them at a disadvantage. The Dr. knew something if he said it would be dangerous.

I think a beta reader could maybe give you points like these to help you smooth it out a bit if you chose to. All around, it's an intriguing story and I had mentioned, as a parrot owner and bird lover, I love the premise. Keep writing.

Thank you, keep writing. :)