UCAC Ch. 05

"What did Jarvis do?" Malcolm asked.

"He tried to seduce me, putting his hand here and there. But when he realized it wouldn't work, he tried to force me into sex. He wanted to get inside my head because he was threatened. I was inevitably going to be Second Wing and he didn't want to give up the position, not after the amount of pawing and climbing he had to do to get there. He was a scared kid underneath the perky, arrogant demeanor, a facade so people couldn't know who he really was and what he came from. If I didn't hate him so much, I'd almost feel bad for him." I sighed.

"Damn..." Malcolm said, appalled, "Sorry I asked..."

"It's fine. He was just an under the rug type person and even then... I don't know. His nature ended up getting one of the sweetest most innocent kids killed and... I'm not capable of forgiving that. I simply am not." I said.

"I understand. You sure you weren't romantically attracted to Liam in some kind of way? I mean, someone that nice, you couldn't just let them slip through your hands..."

"It's strange. Liam had a big crush on me for a long while and I simply didn't like the kid until I saw his little struggle and had to help him out. There were some feelings there but I'd never act on them. It'd feel damn close to incest..." I said.

"So you'd never bone cute little Liam?" Malcolm asked. I turned to him, disgusted.

"No..." I laughed, truly astounded he'd ask something like that.

"God, I ask some terrible questions. I asked that because I would... He was so my type with his tiny awkward ass. I could just pick him up and tote him places and sit him on my lap and...GOD!!" Malcolm said, fantasizing over the boy. It made me smile.

"I would have loved it if Liam ended up with someone like you." I said.

"I wish I could have gotten to know him better." Malcolm said, pondering on the past.

"You two would have gotten along great! You have virtually the same personalities." I laughed.

"We do?" Malcolm asked, enthralled.

"Yeah... You both are inquisitive little cunts, love to be silly, and are so down to earth. I mean, you're pretty far from the Earth," I teased, "But, Liam was kind of a stickler for the rules though but you, I don't get that from you."

"Yeah, I'm not really one for the rules if I can help it any." Malcolm smiled.

"You're not the only one. I often deviate from objectives...particularly the half assed shit they give us to perform." I sighed. Malcolm laughed at me, feeling it was the truth.

"Now that is something I do all the time!"

"I swear it's kept me alive." I smiled.

"You seem like a genius, dude. What you do tactically is impressive." Malcolm said.

"I am far from a genius. I fuck up so much... At least I'm able to come to terms with it... Also, I'm not the most reasonable person. Ask Raul..." I laughed.

"Huh? Wait... You mean the Levant Winger?" He asked.

"It's hard to keep tabs on it all, I know but yes. He and I were a thing...a very complicated thing. But I fucked that up, made it so that I thought we were done. I was so spent on leaving that when all was said and done, and we could see what really happened, it was too late. I said somethings I thought were justifiable but truthfully, at this point... I'm not sure if I am as damaged from my past as I'd like to claim..." I said, truly wondering.

"You are so vague. Nothing you said offered insight into why...eh nevermind." Malcolm sighed.

"Well if you want to know everything, I'll tell you." I sighed, feeling I had nothing to lose, "As I said, I fuck up a lot and sometimes I do shit that... It tends to be very self centered and self-righting. If I could tell you why I did these things, I probably would be much better off right now...or maybe not. It seems when I act selfishly, shit like this tends to happen."

"You're no good at this are you? Are you purposely going off on tangents or is it hard to talk about or..?"

"It started in basics and I couldn't overcome this alone feeling. I tended to lash out on people, superiors and got punished for it. But I already was a hardened bastard from my hellish childhood so it didn't faze me. However, this one persistent little dude kept insisting I stop bringing harm upon myself. I was like why the fuck do you care and he never had an answer. I didn't have that much patience so after about a week of shit I don't feel like explaining, I decided to fuck his ass up. We ended up fucking and I didn't know he was a virgin... That aggravating ass kid was Raul. He was the person that kept me from feeling alone but not completed. Maybe I had to grow up a little bit and shit but eventually I did. I made him wait for far too long and he got tired. When he found someone else, I was crushed... Surprisingly though, I didn't want to fight over him. That feeling of being alone though, it came back full force and I...for a about two hours, felt like I had no one. OK, it was longer than two hours, maybe a day and a half... Raul caught me at a bad time though, after I had been chewed out by Captain and talking to Doctor Helm over some very, very, very dark shit. So he confronted me over leaving and I was like, you were eavesdropping! You are not over me! HAHAHAHAH! And he was like you can't leave. Being hurt still, I was like oh yes I can and you can't make me stay, so HAH! Then he brought up shit over how I said I loved him, and some other shit that made me very, very, very angry. The thing was though, he was not really wrong... but I wanted him to be. So I made him wrong and walked away. I regret it, but I can't change what I fucked up." I explained, trying to be as vague and thorough as possible.

"Damn... Sounds like you two loved each other. If you could, would you go back to him?" Malcolm asked.

"And be haunted by the fact that I hurt him so much? No, plus he has this new giant hunk of man cake and I'm pretty sure that was a big deciding factor in our argument, that day." I laughed.

"Well, I'm pretty sure you will find someone here you like... Here's to ushering a new chapter." Malcolm smiled.

"I don't know about that. I mean, I love the idea of ushering in a new start in life but, finding someone else? I never thought I'd say this but I might just devote myself to my work and see where the experience takes me." I chuckled.

"Well I wish you the best on that." He said sounding disenchanted, "What's your ideal type?"

"I never put much thought into it really..." I said, thinking hard, "I don't care much for aesthetics. I do like a strong sense of adventure and I'd definitely need someone who can ground me. I am a bit crazy and denying this would be to my and their detriment! Um, a voice of reason to because as I said, I fuck up a lot and I need two heads on my shoulders. Oh, and someone who can cook good mushroom curry. I'd devote my life to them for that last one alone."

"Mushroom curry?" Malcolm asked, disgusted.

"It was the last meal my parents and I ate together. I used to hate it, then when they died it was all I wanted to eat." I said, easing onto the floor. I don't know why but standing on this platform was not very comfortable.

"Oh shit dude," Malcolm said, surprised, "Your parents are dead?"

"Yeah," I said, forgetting that I was the only person who really knew, "Now that I think about it, I didn't even tell my old team this much about myself. Feel blessed..."

"Man, I don't know what I'd do if I lost my parents..." He sighed.

"I lost mine when I was nine... If you lost them early on, you'd be as fucked up as I am," I laughed, "But I don't know how different I would have turned out if they were still alive. If it would be better than the way I am now, I truly wish they were still around."

"God, so how'd you grow up without them?" He asked.

"I... I didn't have a very clean childhood. It involved me doing very grown up things before I grew the first hair on my ball sack. Now that is a portion of my past I am not really comfortable talking about. But I will say this. I had a strong will and was never discouraged..." I smiled.

"Well, my life isn't all that interesting. I was born and raised in a village in Trinidad. My mom was a seamstress and my dad was a baker. I lived a normal village life until about fifteen which is when I was recruited, due to my size." Malcolm said.

"I bet you had no worries or anything, growing up. The next day would come and you wouldn't be scared to wake up. I'm jealous of that." I sighed.

"Don't make me sad over my lame childhood." Malcolm laughed.

"I'm not trying to, it's just that...oh who the fuck am I kidding. I'm never having kids." I laughed.

"You want kids?" Malcolm asked. I couldn't tell if he was asking in disapproval or out of inquiry.

"Nah," I said, "I kinda want to be the last remnant of my bloodline. The idea of it, the fact that I could die any given moment, though it terrifies me... I don't know. It's something about the tragedy of it all that makes me feel alive. And plus, I'm the last person you want to trust with the life of kids..."

Malcolm looked at me intently for a long while.

"You are one interesting dude, you know that?" He said.

"The same with you. I hate the last I'll see of you is in basics." I said, wondering what it'd be like to spend the rest of my life with someone like him.

"What do you mean?" He asked. It caught me off guard.

"I mean that after these three months, we're splitting ways. I don't want that..." I sighed.

"You're saying?"

"I'm saying that when it's all over, we won't see each other again. We'll be in two halves of the world... I just... I don't know. It's gonna be hard not getting too attached to you. I tend to do that." I laughed.

"You're nothing but raw passion. Someone will love you hard one day." Malcolm smiled, heading but down the stairs. I looked at him smiling.

"Yeah, but I want you..." I said, almost inaudibly. He couldn't have heard me. If he did, he would have frozen in his tracks, and quite frankly, I didn't know how he'd react.

Maybe this was one of those things better left unsaid. I didn't want to ruin a friendship over childish attraction. Still thought, I couldn't help but fantasize about that fantastic frame of his. He was a lean wall of muscle and I wanted him to wrap me up in it all!. I wanted to know how those pink lips felt and how soft his skin was. I wanted to press my forehead against his and experience a chemistry in a new stretch of the world.

Maybe it was too ambitious and I was being stupid for falling for the first person I'd met after all of what had happened. Hell, I even was developing feelings for Liam that I probably never would have came to terms with. Why would someone as gorgeous as Malcolm want a shitty person like me? I couldn't even come to telling him about the dirt of my past for fears that it'd skew his perception of me. It may be destined for me to be alone in this period of time. Perhaps this was some type of retribution for something I did in a past life or some convoluted as shit along the lines.

It didn't take long for Malcolm to make his way back up the stairs. He looked at me, wondering why I still was sitting on the platform.

"Why the hell are you still up here?" He asked.

"If I told you you'd probably look at me a little differently." I sighed.

"OK...?" Malcolm said, making his way over towards me.

"I don't like harboring feelings because they tend to explode, even feelings of these kind. The thing is, I'm catching feelings for you..." I said, nervous about how he'd respond. He dropped to his knees in front of me, leaning forward. He placed a hand under my chin, bringing his lips closer to mine. He drew closer and closer... We kissed, it being the most electric thing I ever experienced. He sent excitement running through my body. I could no longer contain myself.

I clambered onto him, wrapping my arms around him as I felt him bulging beneath me. The anticipation for this was beyond anything that had ever graced me before. I began to unzip his jump suit, wanting more and more. He then suddenly withdrew, looking at me with those big warm eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"Let's save the moment until after we graduate. It'll be twelve times as gratifying..." He smiled. It was an odd request but one I was comfortable with.

"You better not forget." I said.

"I won't." He said, kissing me again. It was then I realized the type of man he was. He was not some wisher of flings like I was. He was one who believed in the anticipation of the moment and the fact that he was this patient made me want him even more.

It was unreal how he could just withdraw like that, so easily. How could he deny me of this, I don't know but for him I would wait! If he said it'd be a decade, my ass would probably wait to. Of all the countless men I've dealt with, something was different about Malcolm and I was dying to know what. Now though, it would be a waiting game.

He kissed me one last time before, I got off of him. He held my hand though, not wanting to let it go. It was a new type of connection I had never before experienced. It was so fresh and exhilarating, it left me in a daze.

"We're about thirty minutes away from the shore..." He said as we sat on the platform, "We might wanna get ready. The next four weeks are gonna be hell..."

"I never thought I'd ever say I missed training... But I think I need a little hell." I laughed.

Genuinely, I felt I did. A little physical hardship was like washing your face with chilled water. Probably the hardest aspect though was learning a new group of people. I seriously hoped I wouldn't be introduced to my squad until my mission actually began. I didn't want to bond with any new people the way I bonded with my old team. The sheer heartbreak was overbearing and as a leader, I'd have to be strong.

Malcolm got up, walking over to the window. A fleet of ships were near the Nova Scotia coast. There were Mers and Ocean Wingsuit pilots doing routine training drills. Ocean Wingers were some of my favorite wingsuit pilots to see fly. They were genetically engineered giant humans, some eight feet tall, some nine feet tall with wingspans over thirty feet. They were based upon albatrosses and petrels, capable of flying the length of the world without a single wing beat.

As for the Mers, most were simply cybernetic humans with a mechanical fluke and incredible back and thigh muscles. It was so they could swim at the speed of a mad tuna! They ranged in size from tiny to huge, just like Malcolm and I. However the ones that were genetically engineered were menacing sights to behold, the size of pilot whales and as fast as speeding marlin.

Since they functioned underwater, they've been wired to have incredibly long breath. They could stay underwater for fifteen and twenty minutes without having to surface. Their eyes could reshape to allow them to see in great detail under water. Their Helm contained an artificial melon that could produce some of the most detailed sonar technology would allow. It was truly wonderful. Not to mention, they had razor sharp scutes lining their tails so they can battle out against foes under water.

Now I respect the Mers and the UCNC all together, but seriously? All that damn swimming and shit? I'd grow tired of it! Flying is where it is at, and I wouldn't trade it for the world!

"Come look!" Malcolm said. I got up, seeing a massive Ocean Wingsuit pilot gliding in close to the ship. It was huge, three times the size of the Merlin Suit.

"Wow," I said, "It's crazy how something like that can even fly..."

"It's in the wings and metal armor." Malcolm said.

"What?"

"Our armor is made out of a gravitanium-titanium aloe that when charged, repels gravity. You don't actually think we giants can get off the ground by actually flapping and being powerful enough?" Malcolm asked.

"I thought the liquid flesh contributed to our added power!" I laughed.

"It does; it's a major contributor. But the other major contributor are the gravitanium scutes which form our wings. When they are charged, they reduce our weight down to a meere thirty to fifty pounds. That makes our wing loading virtually none existent and for it to be very easy to pump lots of power into our flight." He said.

"Gravitanium... where have I heard that before?" I asked, trying to remember.

"You've heard it before?"

"I think Dr. Helm may have mentioned it. I don't know...the past week has been the most dramatic of my life. So much has happened, it's hard to keep tabs on. I'm happy for this change of pace." I sighed.

"I'm happy for you too." He smiled, continuing to look out the window.

"Labrador, here we come..." I said, giddy with anticipation.

When the ship touched down in southern Labrador, my heart pounded. We stood by our trunks as the bay doors opened. A drill sergeant stood there, looking fierce.

"OFF THE SHIP!! OFF THE SHIP NOW!!" He screamed. We swiftly rolled our trunks down the ramp to the landing pad, "INSIDE THE BUILDING!"

We hurried down the stairs, the drill sergeant staying behind us. We entered a set of barracks with other grunts standing at attention. There were only two beds left, at the far north corner of the building. Malcolm and I placed our trunks in front of the beds, standing at attention like the rest of the men.

"Now that the two late comers are here, time for your debriefing," The drill sergeant said, prowling up and down the thirty something odd men, "Each and everyone of you will be our next leaders, the ones who take initiative to take charge on the battle field. Lives will be in your hands and you will have the power to command over large groups.With that power comes great responsibility and this is what this place is for... To break you down and make you anew. If you think you were already broken down in basics, you haven't seen shit! You will all wish you were in hell because this place will make you look at hell and say...damn. That's a fucking tropical island resort right there! You all may try to be friends in here, but I wouldn't recommend it. You're going to be so exhausted after each day, you'll look at each other and be like, fuck you... I'm sleeping. There will not only be controlled in the lab training, but there will be live training...on actual missions. As my leaders, you will need to learn to lead, to compromise, to support those who can't support themselves and learn to sacrifice what needs to be sacrificed. Some of you will crack under the pressure, while others will triumph. I'm just gonna be real with you, I already can tell who is going to crack and who isn't. I know who's soft and has no bone capable of trudging through a challenge. I will rule you out, and eliminate you from my force! You all better be ready, because I know I am! Do I make myself clear?"

"YES SIR!" We all shouted.

God, this man was right! Right off the rip, we had to do a twenty mile jog. Then after, we had to do two hundred planks and five hundred pushups while he watched us. Not only that but we had so stand motionless in this cold, no shivering. This shit was so brutal and grueling, it lasted for three weeks. However, after about the first week, it was adaptable.

On an early morning Jog, Malcolm lagged behind. There was no particular reason, he just was last because of the way we lined up.

"What are you doing? You're getting weak on me boy?" The drill sergeant asked.

"NO SIR!" Malcolm quickly responded.

"Get your ass to the front of the line, NOW!" The drill sergeant demanded. Malcolm quickly ran to the front of the group, returning to his pace.

It wasn't the last time Malcolm was chewed out by the sergeant. He was the biggest toughest looking thing there. I know the drill sergeant wanted to see what he was made of. It was tedious watching because I wanted Malcolm to succeed as much as I wanted to succeed. Considering how we were trained to respond, it was hard to tell if Malcolm was taking it hard, any. God, it was nerve racking.