All Comments on 'Unbroken Ch. 01'

hohohoho,,the genesis is mwaaaah..yes luis needs some lecture from the cute Aiden

the exact type of astory i want..My king,this is ahit!!!!!!!!

for sure i cant wait for more

luis needs more hahaha

and did the child die in 1-2 pages???

Pity,all the parents died.

Gosh Aiden is the best,ya luis deserves more

my king,u're the best.Post soon my vanalas.

I LOVE U

The theme song is "we found love"-by Rihanna..........My king am waiting for ur magic

Luis,charles..hehe watch out

with all love from my heart,thnx for this great story

its the genesis but am panicking already,gosh wat u said is true,.We shud tie all knots

plz my prayers will work.And this one is rising till it will win the Award..Vanalas ure king of writers remember??

Victor vimas,i love u

plz post soon

i rush 4rm just for this,mwaaaah

WOW ... Took it slow today to read and reat and read again ...

Let's see the baby in Alerna at the beginning is I think Aidan in Angria ... It leaves me wondering just what the prophescy is. i love Aidan as he has a way about him. As for the Prince he needs someone to place him over their knee and give him a good spanking. that or put him with someone who will give him a good fucking up the ass as he sounds the type who gives and never bothers with how his partner feels...

Make it the prince and the pauper... How would Luis survive it they were to swap places like they do in the film Crazy Friday ... Place a magical urn or bowl between them and make them wish that they could see how the other live and then they swap bodies... Now that would be interesting.

Looking forward to see where this goes... Well done!

the beginning left me intrigued and waiting for more. pls also use spell checkers. lots of grammatical errors. A lovely story

Like with the rest of your storie75s you desperately need an editor. Good start!

Also: “He became gay when he was 17...”

That’s not how it works...

The plot seems interesting and wanted to read it all but I just kept getting pulled out of the story by the excessive use of really, the use of the same word multiple times within a single sentence, and the repetition of the same 7 adverbs. Please, for the love of your characters, get someone to edit your writing.

Please get an editor. It appears as though there are 2 people writing this story. Don't use the word 'beautiful' ever again. This could be a story of substance but it is written as if we the readers are children. I volunteer to be your editor. Read your story aloud to yourself and you will see how awful it sounds with the overuse of some descriptive words. Get an editor BEFORE you attempt to write another paragraph. Please.