Unconventional

"Hahaha." A laugh from the dark corner near the hot tub startles me, "We sure did." I hadn't seen her but as she stands, I can make her out. She curls up in my lap and steals my water.

"I'm not sure how, but everything is going to work out just fine, Jackie darlin." I tell her, pulling her to my chest.

"Shh." She tells me. "Just hold onto me."

So, I do.

In the morning, there is a note on the table. "Mum and Dad are home today. I've gone home. Thank you both for a very special Valentine's Day. Please don't worry about me. Everything is going to work out just fine."

.................................................................

BODIES IN MOTION

I kiss Trish. It's a public kiss. A goodbye kiss. A kiss that is on the lips, with a tiny touch of tongue and a greedy hug. Not a sloppy 'let's tear our gear off' kiss. But definitely one that needs to last me four days. She's off to Brisbane for a conference. It's basically an essential networking event in her line of work. We break off before we get too carried away. Her flight leaves in twenty minutes.

"Now, eat properly." She tells me holding my face. "No take-away. Promise?"

"Nope..." I shake my head. "I won't. No running off with pharmaceutical reps. Fucking your way to the top is so 1999."

"Haha, it'll be nice to give her a rest for a week. Since Valentine's Day you've been like the energiser bunny. No complaints, but you know."

"Love ya."

"You too, now bugger off." She tells me. "Otherwise I'll never leave. Go on..." She 'shoos' me.

"See ya darlin."

"Bye."

Valentine's day was a bit more than three weeks ago, and I still smile every time I think about it. Then my heart falls. I haven't heard from Jackie since. I've called the house and spoken with Trish's parents They say she is busy with exams and hardly comes out of her room. While it worries me, that's pretty normal behaviour for her. Trish has spoken with her and tells me not to worry, but I miss my random phone calls for nothing that she used to make. I think with Trish away I might make an excuse to go and visit and see if can talk with her.

I'm thinking about what I'd talk about and how I'd have that imagined conversation as I walk across the parking lot to my car.

In the car my phone has two missed calls and a message. "Ring me when you get this please Uncle Timmy."

"Hello?"

"Tim. Hold on a minute." The schoolyard noises fade as I wait.

"Hi." It's a bit breathy.

"Hi darlin. I've been so worried."

"Fuckwit. What for? I told you I was okay."

"Haven't spoken to you."

"Well, get your silly arse over here and pick me up. I want takeaway and my Timmy."

"Really? Your mum will have dinner, you know how she gets if..."

"Oh shit, right... Trish didn't tell you. She rung them. It's all good. Just come and get me already. I'll be out the front."

"Mmkay then." I'm confused but happy that I'll get to see her.

The drive to her high school is tedious through the afternoon traffic. Made worse by my excitement, and the thousands of questions running through my mind. Does she need a lift home? Does she want to talk? Is there a problem? Is she okay? Is she angry with me? Does she feel like I took advantage of her?

Pulling into the drop off/pick up lane I see her pretty face light up the moment she sees the car. She's standing with a tall boy with moppy looking brown hair. He's skinny and a victim of teenage acne but has kind eyes, I decide. As I pull up, she points my way then grabs his shirt to pull his face down for a peck on the cheek. Blushing, she waves at him then walks quickly to my car.

"Uncle Timmy!" she opens the door and launches across the front seat to put her arms around my neck and bury her head into my neck. "Missed you." She tells my neck.

Releasing me she tosses a school bag and a suitcase in the back seat. "Take me home Tim." She says in a low serious tone.

"Don't you usually get the bus?" I ask.

"Usually." She smirks.

"Who's the boy?"

"Mark. He's lovely. Bit of a nerd but oh... Just lovely."

"Boyfriend?"

"Sort of maybe, he's so shy still."

"So what gives?"

"Haha. Where are you going?" She asks as I turn to take the exit towards her parent's suburb.

My phone rings at that moment, so I pull over to answer it. The car clearly has Bluetooth and all that, but I can't be fucked working out how all that works.

"Tim?"

"Gidday Don." It's Trish and Jackie's father.

"How's the project going?"

"Yeah not too bad." I can't think what project he's speaking of. I have nothing interesting on the table.

"Trish told us it's a big one. We're proud of you mate. Now, just a few things. That hmmph... Well that the old boiler insists on me telling you. While Jackie's there can you make sure she's not drinking please. Her mother found a couple of bottles of something in the bin the other day and wasn't happy. She's eighteen but she's still at school you know. Anyway, I'm glad she can come help with stuff while Trish is away. Just keep an eye on her okay and you... You work too hard. Use that kid while she's there to take a load off, alright."

I hadn't told him he was on speaker. My face presses buttons on the touch screen so I always use speaker.

"Hi Daddy," smiles Jackie.

"Hi princess, didn't know you were listening. You behave for Tim okay."

"Yes Daddy. I'll help him get a load off."

"That's my girl. Love you now and see you Saturday."

"Bye Don," I try not to laugh.

"Bye Daddy."

"Alright, go on then." He huffs and hangs up.

"I've been set up haven't I." I smile.

"Indeed, you have. Now turn around, take me home. You heard my father; I have to help you get a load away. Or off, or something." There's a growl in her voice I absolutely love.

"Can you carry this one in puweeze?" She puppy eyes me and I drag her suitcase from the back seat. I watch as she sways away in front of me. Her uniform skirt is plaid and far too short. Her white blouse is far too tight. Her pigtails are far to grabbable. I'm a bad, bad, brother in law.

"So, Uncle Timmy." She says dropping her school bag on the lounge room floor.

"I love you very much." She says unbuttoning her blouse and throwing it onto the floor with her bag.

"The day after Valentine's day..." She says unzipping her skirt and adding it to the growing pile.

"Tishy and I had a loooong phone call." She removes her shoes.

"And." I ask.

"Well..." She struggles for a moment, unhooking her arms from her bra and turning it back to front to unclip it and chucks it on the growing pile of things. She holds out her right hand to me and fiddles with the infinity ring. "Forever. Just like you said."

For my benefit, I'm sure, she bends and removes her underpants, "And whenever she's out of town, on special occasions and now and then so long as I don't wear you out for her, we can continue our sexual relationship. Only if I don't rub it in her face."

Okay? The gods are fickle creatures and seem to have smiled strangely upon me for some unremembered karmic reason.

"Hahaha, you're cute when you're fucking speechless. Now, I've always wanted to fuck in the pool." She smiles back over her shoulder at me as I hurriedly discard clothing.

I hate water sex. Any lubrication that an even highly aroused woman can supply is washed away on every outstroke.

"Well..." Says Jackie, "Not doing that again. Was good, but how can sex in water be so dry?"

"I could have warned you, but I was a little keen, you know."

"Arsehole." She punches me playfully on the shoulder while I'm still nuts deep in her.

"Right. Get off me. I need a beer. You want one?" She kisses me deeply before I can reply.

"You better get that up again before I come back out here. That was the worst orgasm i'm gonna have this whole weekend." She laughs at herself and rewards me with the view of her naked bum climbing awkwardly up the side and out of the pool. Sperm leaks from her as her legs stretch up to the side and the image goes right to the wank bank.

Later, I'm sitting by the pool on a sun-lounge, sipping a beer while Jackie lazily rides me when my phone rings.

The phone displays 'Patricia Spence', her maiden name, which she uses on social media.

Above me, Jackie asks, "Who is it?"

"Trish."

"Answer it." She growls.

"Hey darlin," I tell the phone.

"Hi Tim. Is Jackie looking after you?"

"You have no, oh god, idea." Jackie says.

"Oh, I see. Well, I love you both. Have fun and change the sheets before I get home okay?"

"Sure darlin," I tell her while her sister 'kicks it up to a canter'. "How's the conference?"

"Are you sure you should be talking right now?" she laughs, "It's boring as fuck. I wish I was at home to watch you two. You make me happy. But I'm all alone in this stupid room and horny thinking about the fun you're having."

"Oh fuck, Tim, give me the phone." Jackie demands and taking it, she plays with buttons and hands it back. "You're on facetime Siss, hang up and watch."

Watching the little screen, I see Trish's face smile at me and she says, "I don't want to look at your ugly mug, show me the action. A girl has needs too, hon."

So I turn the phone to face where Jackie sits astride me and our genitals connect and hear Trish on the other end say, "you idiot, switch it to back camera so you can still see me and I can watch."

Jackie takes the phone and stops for a moment, sitting heavily upon my hard dick. "Siss, I was almost there. Either shut up and watch or I'll hang up. This is MY Timmy time."

Holding the phone again, Jackie picks up where she left off but a little slower, trying to build herself back up. Clearly from the phone screen Trish is watching where Jackie's pussy engulfs me and she writhes against me, but I get to see her pretty face and watch as she squeezes her breasts and props her phone up somewhere.

As Jackie rides me, I watch Trish remove her t-shirt and her arms descend out of view to obviously pleasure herself as she watches her sister furiously mate with her husband.

"Oh hon, that's so damn hot."

"God I've missed his cock, Siss." Jackie tells her. "He's so fucking deep inside me and I'm gonna cum so fucking hard on his junk."

"Do it. Ride him hon. He likes his nipples squeezed sometimes. Give him a pinch and see if he can put a bit more effort in." Her voice is lusty. Clearly, she's masturbating and the idea of that almost tips me into orgasm. When Jackie smiles down at me and moves her hand from my shoulder to my nipple and gently squeezes, I erupt.

Trish drained me last night, and I came just half an hour or so ago, so I have no idea where all this cum came from. Suddenly, I'm spurting and bucking and grunting and it tips Jackie into orgasm as well. Her clenching walls milk me, and she howls with pleasure.

I've dropped the phone.

"Sorry darlin."

"Don't. Ever. Be. Sorry. For. Something. So. Ohaaahaaa... Fuck. So. Fuck. So beautiful. God, I love you guys."

"We love you right back Tishy." Jackie says, now go try out those new toys we bought you.

"Love you." Trish tells the phone.

"Love you too." Jackie and I chorus. Then she's gone.

"Toys?" I ask Jackie and smiling she nods.

"We may have gone shopping as well."

Tea is take-away as promised. The delivery is late but neither of us care. We feed each other chicken wings as we fuck lazily in front of the television. I had forgotten how insatiable teenagers could be and wish I had another of those blue pills. When I finished that time, it was the last for the night. I 'am' thirty-five.

That night around four a.m. I woke with a cramping gut ache, to find the bed empty. Deciding to use the main bathroom instead of the ensuite, for reasons of the threatened noises and smells my god-awful pain promised, I hastened down the darkened hall to find light coming from under the locked door. The sounds of retching and sniffles indicated that I had located Jackie and she was feeling a little worse perhaps than me.

There's one of those little steam suction fan things in the ensuite and boy did it get a workout. I was simply thankful for the fact that whatever bug I caught chose the back exit unlike poor Jackie. A full half hour later I emerged, wrung out from the inside and horrified at the smell and mess. I wasted a full can of air freshener but that just made the room smell like lavender poop.

Purged for now, I decide to check on Jackie. I found her stumbling bedraggled back down the hall.

"Darlin, you too?" I ask her.

"Fucking wings, I think. There's been a bug going around school though. Oh god..." Then she runs back to the bathroom. I find her dry retching over the toilet and hold her hair and rub her back.

"Tim." She says between her peristaltic heaves, "This is fucking gross, just..."

"Nothing I haven't seen before darlin, Shh." When she collapses back to prop against the wall, I offer her a warm, wet face washer.

"Thanks. You're the best, Timmy. I'm so gross right now. You'll never want to fuck me again."

"Hahaha, is that all you ever think about?"

"Pretty much. This weekend's fucked now. It was supposed to be like, finish school Friday afternoon and fuck till Tuesday morning. I was supposed to be going back to school bow legged and leaking jizz from my ears. Fuck my life."

"Shh darlin, probably just the wings. You'll come good I promise. Till then a little t.l.c. and rest." I sit beside her and pat her knee. "You right for a moment? You should probably grab a shower. You'll feel a bit better."

"Can you get me a glass of water pervert? I know you just want to see me naked."

"That's my Jackie." I kiss her forehead and leave to find water. I am side-tracked by a sudden need to resume my position upon the throne and when I finally return, I hear the shower running.

Suffice to say, it's a bloody long night. Sleep is stolen in between bodily expulsions and morning finds me waking next to a tussled mess of human who vaguely resembles a sister in law I know, but turned inside out. I, on the other hand, feel alright. There might be something in those colonics that people talk about. Apparently, my violent purging has emptied me of whatever ailed me and as I watch the sun rise on the deck, listening to poor little Jackie vomit again, I feel much better.

Fucking tired, but pretty good.

I have always felt special cuddling this small human. Well, not so small anymore, but she always makes me feel like he-man or something. So, I climb back into bed to cradle the shivering little mess that sleeps fitfully on my bed. She snuggles back in against me and I hear her breathing slow and deepen as she spoons against me.

She smells like toothpaste and shampoo courtesy of another recent shower after yet another trip to the toilet. There cannot be anything left for her small body to wring out of her. I'm so tired that I fall heavily into dreamless sleep nestled behind her.

I wake and harsh bright light is spilling through the blinds forcing me to squint. Rubbing sleep out of my eyes I become aware of moaning. Jackie is rubbing back against my morning wood and moaning in her sleep. Perhaps she's feeling a little better I hope and reach to cup her breast and pull her closer.

"Bloourk." She coughs and explodes from the bed to reach for the bucket I put next to us last night.

I hold her hair and try to keep her warmly held while she throws up the single glass of water she has drunk.

"Aw darlin." I kiss her head and hold her while she retches. There's a towel beside the bed and she uses it to wipe her mouth when she's done expelling pretty much nothing.

"I'm so sorry." She sobs. Sniffling and wiping her eyes. "I'm a fucking mess Uncle Timmy."

"Shh. Come back here. Just shh."

And she does, snuggling back in against me just like we were.

"I'm so sorry, I was really enjoying that and you're still hard..." She's crying.

"Later darlin, shh. Get some sleep."

"I love you Tim."

"I know. Shh. I love you too."

When her breathing tells me, she is back to sleep, I rise and find the coffee machine. I am a massive fan of it this morning.

She must have finally come out the other end of her tunnel because she doesn't rise till a little after eleven. I'm sitting at the breakfast table reading work emails on my laptop when her bushy, wrung out head appears in the kitchen.

"Fuck." She's looking all around her and straight past me. "Where's all my shit Uncle Timmy?"

"What are you looking for darlin?"

"Mmph, handbag."

"Didn't see one. You had a school bag and a suitcase. School bag is hanging near the door, suitcase in your room."

"Oh yeah." She wipes her eyes.

"How are you feeling? Any better darlin?"

"Jury is out."

She stumbles over and slumps against me with her arms around my neck, "I love you, you lovely man. Thanks for looking after me when I was a fucking disgusting mess."

"I thought I was a pervy who just wanted to see you naked."

"Shut up. Where's my bag?"

I point toward the door and she fumbles around, snapping some little thing into her hand and throwing it into her mouth. "Ahh," I think, "Pill."

"You want some eggs?" I ask hopefully.

"Gonna take it easy on my guts for a bit Timmy. Can I have a coffee do you think?"

"Maybe a glass of water, give it twenty then try?"

"Smart."

She's sitting staring wearily at me across the breakfast bar. Ordinarily that could be creepy, but she just looks wrung out.

"Did I tell you I love you?"

"Yes darlin, just once or twice though. You can tell me again anytime you want. I kind of like it."

"Do you think there is another man like you? One that I can keep." She sounds so tired.

"I hope you find a better one. I'm just a creepy old dude that likes watching you in the shower."

"Wanker."

My mobile phone chooses that moment to ring. Jackie is closest and looks at the screen before answering. "Trish." She tells me then walks with it to her ear over to the fridge to gaze into it and waste electricity.

"Like shit Siss. Bad wings."

"Spent the whole night spewing."

"Held my hair and rubbed my back like a wierdo."

"You too?"

"I wouldn't. Gross."

"Mmm... Okay I guess. Just had some water and think-" She tosses the phone on the table and bolts down the hall.

"Hi darlin." I tell the phone as I pick it up.

"Ahm, remember me saying, 'no takeaway' at some point."

"Hmmph. You're not my real mum. Don't tell me how to live my life."

"hahaha. Idiot. She ok?"

"Bit of a mess. Mostly pissed off..."

"About wha- oh yeah. I remember being her age. Thought I'd invented sex. God. This is a bit weird to talk about. Ha."

"Uhuh..."

"So... Um, I love your guts out you beautiful man. Look after my poor little Siss. Are you okay?"

"Let's just say the ensuite could use a new coat of paint."

"That bad?"

"Explosive."

"Shit."

"Haha, pretty much."

"Eww."

"Well you kids get that out of your system before I come home." I can hear her take a deep breath and pause then continue a moment later, "I wish I was home. I miss you so much. And I know I said I wouldn't be jealous but... Well I'm jealous I'm not there. I just miss you."

"No one is having any fun here darlin. I miss you too."

"Not that way jealous idiot. I want you to have fun. Just, Oh."

"What?"

"Hey check the medicine cabinet. Remember the last flare up, I had nausea?" My wifey has PCOS. "Well there's maxilon and Imodium somewhere, I think. Give her the maxilon and you take the Imodium before I have to re-chrome the fittings in the ensuite."

"Will do. Love you."

"Love you too."

By lunch time, I was looking at a beer. Jackie was sound asleep and had been since I gave her some maxilon. The beer thought I should drink it. My bum thought it had been recently horribly violated and wondered if I should ever put anything in my mouth ever again.

I was still looking at the beers where they slept peacefully in the ice box when Jackie found me at around two pm. She smelled like soap and shampoo and toothpaste.