All Comments on 'Unexpected Ch. 02'

Ooh that ending though! Really super excited about the next chapter! Keep it coming

Im loving the slow build of this story. Its keeping me very intrigued. Even though fallen is the love interest I think a scene would be hot betwee jase and Tracy. Maybe in the locker room where fallen catches them 🔥 🔥 🔥

Can't wait for the next update

Please keep it...thanks for your beautiful writing

Can't wait for the next chapter and could you make them longer gives me more to read 🤗

Looking forward to the next chapter :)

I like the build up. As someone commented from the first chapter, you really need to get your grammar sorted please. It's must have, not must of. Also you need to add a few commas or full stops in places. When you write 'who is this guy' you need to add a ?, it's a question. 5am when spoken, should be written five am. Before submitting, read it out loud to yourself and see how it sounds. It would make it flow better.

Otherwise I'm loving the story.

Thank you for your help with grammar. I finally have an editor to help along the way as of Chapter 4. He is trying to teach me at the same time, hopefully you will see my writing get better. I appreciate any help I receive. Unfortunately I was never taught correct grammar in school. I was always in the highest classes and they assumed we knew it. In our high school system the teachers don't correct grammar if it is wrong. So I guess you could say there was one child left behind. But please feel free to correct any of my errors. I would like to do a good job with this so you can enjoy it.

Regards

Joh

Keep going...

Need to work on your punctuation :-)

Please keep going!!!!!!!

Please start using correct punctuation. This is so much harder to read. Read it out loud - maybe that will help. Lit has volunteer editors that may be able to help too. It detracts from the story.

Geesh, I wonder how these ppl are when they pay for novels with grammar issues that were missed lol I stand by the fact that if one is really great at grammar/linguistics as one believes, he or she should have no problem reading through any published works smh I have the ability to correct minor errors as I read and that was prior to having to degrees in English (:

Anyway, I am pleased to see your great writing has continued into this chapter. I'm hoping Alex/Chewy made an honest mistake in thinking the art piece was made by a woman rather than by a man. Loved seeing how Callen sticks by his baby brother!

I just wanted to say I am loving this story! So glad to see an author who's taking their time and building up a real background! As for all those out there complaining about your grammar, spelling and punctuatio, I hope you know that for as many outspoken and frankly rude people you have commenting there are just as many who have no issue. What you write is totally understandable and while yea there are mistakes there are not enough to make it hard to read or follow the story. I think people lose sight of the fact that you are doing this for free for our entertainment which should be thanked not torn apart. So for those of us out there who are less likely to speak up cause we see nothing really wrong, thank you. It's a great story and I look forward to reading the rest... The loud mouths out there PLEASE learn the thumper rule. It's ridiculous to see a dozen people making the same commen! Quit being bullies!