by Ada Stuart
the story is on fire i love it .i can't wait till the next chapter is posted i hope really really soon.i really do hate the wait for such a hottt story
Love it! This was a great chapter! Please more! Cant wait for the next one! Thanks!
wat took u so long ... ? *pout* but it's well worth the wait :D
It's a good story and I've enjoyed the first three chapters so far, but please, please, please, for the love of God...find yourself an editor! The poor grammar takes away from the story.
Very hot! I'm caught up on this story now and I echo the others who've commented....don't keep us waiting too long for another chapter! :)
hot story, can't wait for the next chapter. for the love of all that is holy, please post it soon!!!
that was one hot chapter, please keep more coming - and soon!
I really liked your having her tease him by asking him to rub down her sunburn and then taking control the next morning making him lose it. She was too uptight and shy in the beginning so it was a good change for her. It is good to see Jarad feeling a little less confident. Just hope he doesn't decide she doesn't want him.
A modern romance take. Some of the dialogue a little clichee but this characteris aside one of the Best mod rom, so far, I 've read. Positive
Is above average. I am fed up lecturing life writing skills to porn submitters And Critics. Capital play. Punctuation needs a New cat. Text Sex. Your only weakness at this then stage in your life is dialogue character match, and consistency. Here building site phrasing might have crept in, but in 21st C term technology. Includes now cross cultural aspects, college ed. and PC. Such research brings life to the tale and adds heat to the sex. Much more than sentence grammar and various italics. Now if this was Pulitzer . . I might have to put my Cam Eng thinking cap on. All this is inspired by the nerd comment more than the story. I suspect I have kicked the same person quite a few times. The adage; 'Get a life'. This is mob text. Purism!
NICE SEXUAL BUILD UP. I WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. SO FAR SO GOOD.
The only differences I can see so far are it’s set in a different location, with different jobs and character names oh and it’s progressing faster than the other story.
Same character types, set up by her older brother, he’s always been interested/wanted her, overbearing arrogant alpha male, magic cock, both insecure and a bit moody, she believes he’s always seen her as the bratty kid sister of his best friend, neither is willing to discuss the attraction they both feel, she’s reading erotica and he borrows one to see what her fantasies are.....oh and he’s a misogynist as demonstrated by the following sentence, you wrote;
“Well, they were two to play that game, and finally knowing that Cade had given his consent, he could do exactly what he wanted to her.”
I get that guys can feel awkward about dating a friend’s sister which was probably how you intended that sentence to read, unfortunately it can easily be seen as he has consent from the brother so her opinion and consent is irrelevant.
It’s a stereotype but that doesn’t mean it’s not an easy enjoyable read.
Most of you have real issues. This is an erotic website so yes the stories will look misogynistic. It's not like he's harming her or something
So who is chasing who and are either succeeding. Another great and slow chapter but I'm enjoying the wait.
No, erotic doesn't mean misogynistic.
But most people actually are at least somewhat insecure when it comes to someone they really want but don't seem to be able to get.