by Caramelangel247
This is very good! You should keep writing! You have a great writing style, so you should not limit your self to erotic stories only! :)
Now you need to Follow-up and let us know how the Cinnamon Rolls were.
and what the Rest of their Week-End was like.
Exquisite! You have a talent. Let your fingers do their random dance more often ...
Don't you dare stop writing, im soo hooked, I went for wanting to laugh to down right blushing at parts of this little story keep up the good work, your well on your way.
Baby, Momma is very proud! I am so glad to read your stories it reminds me of your writings in the past. I too blushed and I forgot you knew thos word..LOL..keep it up !
Your #1 Fan Fam...MOMMIE
Thanks for all the positive responses. I enjoy writing but I tends to file them away and never really show them.
Although I've learned a valuable lesson not to share links on my facebook. Apparently my mother is watching *faints*. I must admit my mother complimenting me on my erotic musings is highly amusing!!!
I liked the chemistry between the two. The fact that he was not ashamed to pursue and have her was cute. This is definitely worth a sequel. The story could have gone into the nonconsent/reluctance category, but I totally get why you wouldn't want to put it there. Really great first try - I hope to read some more from you.
As a bit of constructive criticism, an editor from the Literotica editor's list will help with story flow. I find it incredibly useful to bounce my story off another set of eyes, so that the ideas flowing out my head, through my fingers and onto a document are being presented the way I want them to.
Good read & definitely worth taking your writing out of your journals and onto the site.
QMS
Enjoyed this very much...looking forward to more of your work including more of this couple. Thanks for sharing!
Anjel54
I LOVED this and I really hope to see more of this and other stories of yours! And it's a plus that your first comment came from your mom!
I really liked this story. It was a great first effort. I hope you write more. It was well written. Bravo. Very well done.
Just finished 2nd read through. Great and agree with the ladies who preceeded me.
A love story to be sure.
I really enjoyed reading, I like that you have a pix
on your profile.
I like stories with pix better.
They are hotter to masturbates to.
I love your breast.
Steve