All Comments on 'Up North Ch. 08'

Finish the fucking story dumb ass.

Please finish. Or just write a paragraph saying he graduated, moved home, moms great and he's happy..the end

You have created an interesting story about a young man coming of age. Please add to it. The Kelly character's circumstances make it very plausible for her to be his half sister. The circumstances of her father only being around in the winter and being killed in an accident at about the same time as Jim's father are pointers.

Your writing is good. The area I noticed were word choices in a few instances. Try to find a proofreader or check with a good thesarus program. Otherwise good work. 5*