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All Comments on 'Vampires Don't Sparkle Ch. 02'

by maestro84

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ArgentPenumbraArgentPenumbraover 7 years ago
Bravo!

Vampires may not Sparkle but this story definitely does!

I love this story and the close relationship that is building between Ben and Emily.

I think that there is plenty of mileage left in this story, enough for many more chapters.

Please, Please, Please tell me that you're going to write more.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
You are addicted to exclamation marks!!!

Stop ending every other line of dialogue with an exclamation mark! They convey surprise! They convey excitement! They convey anger! Use them to make forceful statements! Use them sparingly for emphasis. Most of the time people are going to talk in a normal tone of voice and that requires periods. You're dialogue comes of stilted, awkward, and forced just because of the overabundance of exclamation marks. Break the habit.

onecuriousreaderonecuriousreader3 months ago

the simpiest simp that has ever simped !

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usermaestro84@maestro84
277 Stories
1681 Followers
Have a lot of strange fantasies, just throwing them out there for others to enjoy. Also I know my Grammar isn't perfect and I an constantly trying to improve it. Also to help because the site organizes my stories in a confusing way. Mood slime: to read the series in order it...