All Comments on 'Vanessa'

This would be a good story to expand on. A prequel or two about what made her this way and then continue the story. It could be like "loving wives" meets "Dexter". She goes out and finds men or the assholes hit on her and work on her knowing she's married and then when they succeed in fucking her she kills them

Very well written

Thanks for the read.

I was warned in preface . Hope the fictional hotel had decent cctv system at all entrances and exits.

If the same commenting section ( you know who you are ) will jump as stiff legged about this as they will the oh so common rape , murder , misogy B.S. that we would hear if this were the Husband doing this ? ( yes FLC, Luedon , I'm talking to you two in particular ) .

Will there be the same outrage here ?

Inquiring minds want to know ?

This is really a dark side story...this woman was at some point like a werewolf, that live a perfectly normal life until the full moon arrives...At home she was a normal wife and woman, but as soon as travelling time arrived she became a mortal predator, pluging in the dark side, a need in her, always away from home and keeping her husband safe from that side of her...In those killings she wasn't killing the nameless men she hunted, but every single time all the men that destroyed her chance to be a normal woman...2*

Whether man or woman...cheating is cheating.....murder is murder.

Sigh....

Well written, so kudos for that. Annoying plot, so I gave it a three.

Would like to see you write more though.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

So here we have a serial killer who cheats on her husband. Pardon me if I'm not excited.

no rating

Shouls be in non erotic

Her husband rebuffs her efforts to give him a blow job? No fucking way!

I know he already rebuffed her attempts at giving him a blow job, but why not try harder to liven up their sex life?

She cleans herself off, but what about HER DNA being all over his body?

Just another cheating slut rationalizing her cheating.

I had almost thought the husband would be the one to dispel her of the notions she carried. The way you built up his "naivete in her eyes", I had sought to find how he enlightened her as to the creature that lives in all XY chromosomes. Man has a violent point - all men have it, only most of us control it. Some of the stories here depict the destruction of the moral dam that unleashes that dark side and all fall into the wash. That was what I had expected from your depiction. The husband finds out and all hell breaks loose as she finds out that even the "boy scout" has the ability to defend his domain and lethally.

The question is how do you treat the wife? Does she (after seeing this) leave him in the jaded state she abandoned her old life, or does she try to capture his lust to ride like a wave to a surfer (I believe another author has a story of a husband who finds his wife is a contract killer for the govt and not the cheater he imagined).

Feel free to try this other approach.

1* sorry now the shower would provide DNA evidence

It was! It was very dark. Of course it was morally wrong. So was Silence of the Lambs. The sex scene was molten hot, as was the power this predator unleashed on her unsuspecting victims AND the loving protection she afforded her husband.

I hope she gets caught, and I hope you write much more! Great job!

In fact, not a twist at all. It was incredibly obvious from by at least the start of the fifth paragraph.

<P>

As for the warning, a warning that is given after opening a story is bupkis. It's like a "Do Not Enter" sign that can be read only after being all the way in the room with the door tightly shut behind you.

should be a Longer story until she is caught. and he has to Confront her about her Realities. I mean according to what was said in the beginning this is Victim #4 . and what of Giving her Hubby kids.

How does she get in and out of the room without being caught on camera? Not much to this one. I think a better twist would have been her quiet hubby secretly keeping tabs on her and taking out her suitors after her dalliances.

Interesting story. It's fiction, and well written. I won't go into specifics, but there are holes regarding her continuing to get away with it. But again, it's a good story.

But playing devils advocate, there is always evidence and the more she does it, the more likely she will be caught. After all, there is enough video footage of the two of them from the airport, the hotel, the taxi, the phone call from a payphone, CCTV from an ATM, suspicious DNA in his ass, mouth, stray fibres, hair...the list goes on.

And the thing about nice guys? They can become completely evil if pushed too far.

You took artistic license with a few things that the CSI folks would catch; however, that is quite acceptable in fiction writing.

More importantly was the dark force at work in this woman...this was very, very well expressed. The kind, decent, innocent husband at home was the perfect counter balance.

The over-the-top ending was fantastic. We would love more chapters!

so she fucks a man, then she kills him?

what about her husband, hasn't he ever fucked her, or is not fucking her the only reason he's still alive?

like I said, maybe I'm missing something

She is quite clearly as mad as a hatter, yet dearly loves her husband.

She needs raw, nasty sex, but doesn't want that from her husband.

So she uses men she doesn't know for the raw, nasty sex.

But! There might be a risk. What if she and her husband met one of her lovers?

She would be exposed as the cheater that she was.

So to avoid this eventuality she murders her lovers.

She'll probably eventually get caught.

..you're way over-thinking it people. It's just a short exploration of human motivation. I wasn't writing a who-dunnit / perfect crime scenario. She probably would eventually get caught - though even if her DNA links her to all four crime scenes - it still means nothing if the police don't already have her profiled. But again, that's not the point of the story - and the chances of her husband getting suspicious? Also not likely - she only plays away ie: interstate. But thanks for reading anyway. L

by a sick, stupid shit. Not as erotic as watching paint dry.

Predictable

She craves the dirty sex acts that she was forced to do by those bad men in her youth. She developed a taste. But she hates those men that did those things to her. So she has the sex and kills the men for doing all those nasty things with her. She's a. Preying mantis of sorts. But she only kills the men that have dirty kinky sex with her.

Seems to me the abuse would want to make her avoid being in that situation at all cost, not seek it out to relive the shame, degradation and humiliation. Human nature says she doesn't do this. Cute but predictable that you'd have her doing this totally illogical bullshit.

I fully enjoyed this story as I understand her. Been there done that is so cliche but it fits. I have never killed but do know her pleasures of the dark and twisted feelings.

I read the story and found the sex very sexy, but the murder was not expected. I guess I thought it was a little implausible, but full marks for giving it a go.

Then I read the comments, which never seem to amaze me. Here’s a woman who kills a man for kicks, but half the commentators are more upset by her infidelity to her husband!

I thought there was a rule against murder porn in LW.

The wrong person got their throat cut. She’ll pick the wrong man one day.

I feel like I fell into a Trump fans outhouse after reading this.

It took me until the 5th paragraph to figure out that “shedunnit”.

Hope the husband doesn't get killed if she ever snaps!

4

Nice! 5 stars.

Leave the poor husband alone...if she loves him she should leave him and take her skanky cheating and murdering ass away. That way he can't be effected by it

Ah! A truly loving wife!

Well, that one's going to stay with me for awhile.

WAYYY too predictable. Would have been a lot more interesting if her "innocent" husband was the one doing the killing. 3.5*