All Comments on 'Vietnamese Beef Pho'

Thank you in advance to those who click on my story, to those who will read it and to those who will potentially leave me some comments and/or constructive criticism. The title of this story is based on a joke between Grace and Kon, it wasn't featured in this story but maybe in a later one?

This is my first time ever writing a story from start to finish, and I'm aware that there are issues but practice makes perfect, eh?

Any constructive criticism would be appreciated!

Could have fooled me. Very Good story! Very well written believable. Decent character development. I have online friendships as well but have not met them yet. This story is modernistic. I spent 4 years posted to RAF Mildenhall so I can easily relate to Kons amazement at being in the UK. So different but so familiar. 5 stars. Naturally a part 2 would be of interest. Well done.

DragonRider55

Thank you so much for the amazing feedback dragonrider! This is indeed the first story I've ever written so it's great that you find that hard to believe, maybe I can get better from here!

Character development was the thing I was most afraid of, so I'm on the same page with you about that.

I will definitely think hard about writing a part 2 to this :D

I forgot to post as a user, I'm a genius!

If this is your first attempt at writing I think you have a great future as an erotic author. You write in a literate way avoiding so many of the irritating examples of poor English and obvious typos. I am an older male and found your story through the “older man” tag. I’m fascinated by the possibility of young women being attracted to older men and your story gave me some fantasy fuel. As someone else mentioned, I was impressed by your character development: the slow reveal of the female character. This is where you could have done more perhaps in explaining why our shy retiring heroine turned into such a uninhibited sexual animal so suddenly. She is an enigma in some ways. Shy, retiring and lacking in confidence yet has her own house and a killer body. The masturbation in the shower scene was great. Perhaps there could have been more such as getting herself off at work during the day sitting at her desk, being nearly caught by her boss as she fantasised about meeting her “friend”. Just suggestions. What you wrote was great

Maybe I should start writing something for Literotica myself. Keep it up! Adedrum.

Thank you so much for the amazing review, Adedrum! I really appreciate the suggestions and I will definitely take those into account next time I write. I'm honestly amazed the story got such a positive response considering I had no experience in writing like this. I think I'll need to take a step back and possibly assess myself a little, as this character was very (very!) loosely based on me.

I've recently read the story back again and I see quite a few of my errors, but fingers crossed i won't make the same mistakes next time!

Great characters. I’d love to know more about their backgrounds & what happens next.