All Comments on 'Visit to Yorkdale Mall'

Love the way you write - I hope you will post more stories real ones if you have them and fiction if not.

keep writing nice lady

John XXX

Written by a sicko for sicko's like the prior anon. One star because no zero stars.

blewdogg and the rest of the wannabe cucks spanked to this one while dreaming of creampies, nice job, they love the cuckoldry

it dodnt sound fake at all

but as a scene in a larger piece it would work. Well written. Characters were fleshed out about as much as the short piece would allow and the descriptions were good. Write more.

In reading this, I liked how you showed the mixed emotions of your character (you in real life?). The excitement of the situation but the guilt in the back of her mind.

The only thing is I would say is watch your grammar a bit more. There are some places were you missed a word. No biggie as the reader could figure out what you meant.

Keep writing and I'll keep reading!

If true as you say it is one can only hope your husband and kids find out before you take a disease home with you and they can get on with their lives without you.

Humans and their interactions are complex, and don't necessarily fit into prescribed patterns. Great story because it brings a lot of those desires, doubts, and confusion to the page.

Thanks.

If you notice the word husband is not in the story in fact the man appears to be the only cheater here.

But since he list all the standard (except small dick) excuses the loving wives use and they are honored here I see nothing wrong. Just a stupid slut (face it she is stupid and a slut) and poor miscible husband. So "Nothing to be concerned with folks just keep moving along."

ps nice twist on the old standard story

She is cheating, I know. But if the writing does not give that information she is NOT CONVEYING HER MEANING OR INTENT OF THE STORY! IF THEY ARE STAND ALONE STORIES MAKE THEM SUCH!

(I will now remove my soapbox and leave the room)

This seems to be an accurate description of complicated and conflicting emotions. The problem I had is a bit of whiplash - you kept saying you wanted to please him ("more than anything") and at the same time (it seemes) you strongly wanted to get out of there. Perhaps you could do a bit more work getting into the fine details of these feelings and create a smoother story that ties them together?

Your conflicting emotions drive this story, You seem to thrive on wanting to be outrageous but not quite yet. I think your character was pa little put off by being do wet, but also pleased that she her brand blouse were stained with cum and that possibly everyone on the train knew it and maade you for the 'slut that you are' , which was probably pleasing in your own way . I would like to see you write more .

I am an artist and do erotic illustrations. I would be pleased to collaborate with you for a story with hot images .

I feel bad for her family.

:)

Just another low life cheating whore. She doesn't deserve her family.

send me your new email if you want more stories of doing your married pussy in front of jake

Not a story