All Comments on 'Waiting Ch. 01'

by Bushido71XS

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100 Angry Bananas100 Angry Bananasalmost 20 years ago
Strong First Chapter

You have some strong, detailed visual passages in here that I really liked, particularly the first few paragraphs. This is a strong first chapter, but I'd like to see more character development with Galen in following chapters. One small point of criticism: I find more than one exclamation points to be overkill!!!! Other than that, I think you're off to a great start.

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