All Comments on '"Waiting" on Fantasy'

Can't wait for more ...

This was a REALLY Hot story to read. I almost blew my load a few times. You definitely have good potential as a writer. The only thing is that throughout the story I saw that it kept changing point of views, going from "I said..." to "Michelle/David said...", try to stick to one point of view and change it when it seems appropriate or if you're changing point of view for the sake of the story or something. Plus there were a few spelling and grammar errors here and there so I'd suggest reading it out loud to yourself (not in normal voice necessarily just slowly so you can get every word).

...please be careful with switching so freely from first person to third person. Otherwise, fantastic read!

What will happen next with David/Michelle, and where would lead towards if David wants to be Michelle on a perhaps full time basis and be with Simone.

Good stuff

I gave you 5 stars because the story was great, but, please proofread your work or have someone proofread it for you. The spelling mistakes and use of the wrong words, was almost too much.

But great story line. Keep at it.

Very good story and I was right in the moment... more please

Wow loved your story Michelle is such a little sex muffin I hope we hear more about what she's up to and my goodness that Simone is quite the naughty young lady. I was worried for a moment there in the darkness of the club but she kept her cool and everything worked out great. Luckily they will be able to pay their rent and now finally our little friend is getting some. If he couldn't get any action as a boy he made up some time by scoring some d and getting off a couple times- must have been nice, thanks for delving deep into the story there!

What's long and hard and full of seamen? A submarine. That joke only works when you say it. It's "semen". And you switch from "he" to "I" constantly. Try to be consistent. Also, this seems to take place in America, but is full of British-isms like "bloke" and "Y-fronts".

I can't wait to see hiw far Michelle is willing to go for extra cash. Btw there were a few errors but it didn't take away from the story.

*****

Very good start to the evening for Michelle. Don't know what turned me on more, the thought of going that far for money or the anticipation of what else might be sacrificed as the night progresses. Please write more and help me answer the question of sacrifice or just pleasure.

Wow! I would love to play Nurse Betty! Wish I could taste that dick!

Nice job of setting us up to fill in the rest of “Michelle’s” night with our own imaginations. Excellent!

Keep going with this one! Double check your spelling though.

Now that i am fully transformed in to the women i always wanted to be but with a cock.It is now time to go out in public and let them see and fell me.How i do love the felling of a hard cock sliding down my throat filling me with loads of sweet tasting cum.Yes i am a cum loving cock whore and dont forget my sweet open ass loves cum to.I just finished my first hard cock group sex gang bang.For any thing goes that they wanted to do to me

so fucking hot