All Comments on 'War of Lust'

This was very good. I hope you write more in this genre / universe.

Love the game and thoroughly enjoyed this story.

Would love to see his meetuing with Riala in details, too :-)

You've got a good story line going, but your rushing it far to much.

There is little in any form of description of anything. What does this guy look like? whats his armour? whats his sword? whats the town like? what time of day is it? what made the furnishings so nice they are associated with nobility? what do the orc's look like?

All this sort of stuff is really good and useful as the skin of a story. your story is all muscle (aka, I don't know how the plot will develop yet which are the bones) but the muscles (the battles, sex and dialogue) are the only things you've got here really. Yes you described the women, in minor detail, but there is so much more to do.

I'll be happy to edit for you if your needing it, just get in touch

JC

Wendis seems to have a lot in common with Riala, and you never see them together. Coincidence?

Enjoyed this and I'll check out the main story.

A few of the comments here would likely be explained if you had played The Last Sovereign, by Sierralee. All in all, I really liked the story... also really like the game. Keep up all the good works!

This just begs for more short stories in this universe. Although I am not sure what you plan to flesh out in the future chapters 4 and 5, I am just begging for more backstory regarding the war. Probably should write the disclaimer at the start though so that no one is confused about the context of this story being a game.

Nice. Hot and to the point. I wish you could also write how Riala fell for Simon. That would make for an interesting read of cat and mouse.