All Comments on 'Warmth in the Snow Pt. 01'

Liked it,

but not the pregnancy bit.

Your characters were good.

No new ground broken , but no false steps either. I like the complications introduced as curtains drop on first chapter. All in all, first time author racked and cracked his literary pool balls with efficiency and sting. Solid 4 * story plus bonus * for JusWritingaNov newbie status. I thank him for sharing.

Full marks * * * * *

Sleazy pregnancy crap. I hope Lordslamdog knows what the fuck he's saying, because no one else does. Between him and Tazz, who the fuck knows? More weirdness than I want to know about.

Don't let this end here. Mark and Diane are done it appears. Maybe Carla has succumbed to Jack and Nell . Maybe this becomes a poly relationship and everyone wins. Keep writing please.

Keep writing and develop the characters a bit more.

If she were my wife I think I would prefer she cussed a little rather than fucked other guys. But then I don't go to church.

I only ever write positively and this is my first comment since Adrian Leverkuhn some weeks ago. Well written tale fitting nicely into the genre. It's your story to tell, regardless and I am looking forward to read more. Excellent!

person in the story to like... But all four of the characters of any importance cheated.. yes Carla cheated with the two guys we heard about on the phone so lets just get on with the disaster and bury it. all the kids, even the one on the way, will end up being the only ones hurt. There is no coming back from the cheating. Nobody in the story is worth being married to and all had a predisposition to cheat so why did they ever marry in the first place?... I guess so their life stories could end up on this site in a crappy, but fairly well told story about four married idiots with no respect for each other... only disgust..

Like the dialogue, like to see where you take it. The obvious route is that his wife has also cheated at home, but that's kind of obvious. But the pregnancy is kinda like a black hole, no escaping that vortex in a way.

Not a bad start...but it leaves a lot of issues open...1st - she cheated because: "No one can know, right?"! what about them? They will know and they will remember every single day, when they look in the mirror or when they see each other...2nd - Two solid marriages were after all a card castle ready to collapse with just a sneeze...3rd - she is facing divorce, so who will raise and support the child soon to be born? 4th - For now there were 3 cheaters ...will we find out anothers in the next parts? Will the same moral rules be applied for them? For instance. her husband had to leave to his parent's house...why? Didn't she cheated too? was his cheating worst than hers? Let's us see where the writer will take his story...3* for now...

You had Diane saying, "Stay on your side," in one paragraph, and next thing we know, they're 'spooned' together, with no mention made about how that changed. I'd have expected Diane, since she was the inside of the spoon, to have rolled onto her side, and one or the other of them eased into scooting closer.

It was a kind of fun story, but I think it's misfiled. Yes, Diane was a 'Loving Wife,' but this has more of a feel as the first chapter in a romance. I guess that depends on where you are taking Part 2.

Excellent start and very glad to see this is chapter one because it cries out for more. I think you captured the essence of the somewhat strained dialog between them that would have to be present in those last few sentences.

Interesting storyline. Good, well written dialogue. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Can't wait to see where this goes.

The problem is, now that the boundaries have been crossed, I'm not at all certain what basis for any further relationship, beyond sexual, that any of these characters have a chance for. Two people who cheated with each other begin a romance? Not at all an auspicious beginning. They should both hope the other doesn't get stranded with someone else. None of the characters are the slightest bit attractive, so I can't imagine anything good for them. "No clever arrangement of rotten eggs makes a good omelet."

So many ways to go with this, the foreshadowing of the wife'ss infidelity, what do they do re the child, I mean, is she really going to put it on her estranged husband and make him pay for the raising, wow, that is a real malicious double cross. Not something good people do. Good people do make mistakes, but dont compound them with Shakesperean subterfuge and malice.

Not a mention of 36DDs in the entire thing. Conflicted characters. Extremely-well written aside from a handful of small goofs. Nice way to set the stage for future tension. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.

I enjoyed reading a well written story in the Loving Wives category. Looking forward to more. 5 Stars.

A fine first effort, I'm looking forward to the next chapter. ***** Full marks!

He knocks up his secretary , Carla dumps Mark also a cheater, Diane is caught cheating, boss divorces marries Carla . A bunch of.divorces and cheaters . Next chapter what will you do???

I really enjoyed reading your story. I hope you continue it i want to know what happens next.

All the judgemental fucks on a porn site.

Well written, believable, sexy

Great start, it deserves more soon .........

These cheaters are truly scum but I gave this a 4 so far.

It feels somewhat real and hopefully there will be realistic cause and effect consequences for their pathetic and selfish actions.

Carla and the kids are huge victims here.

You know what? Causing ridiculous amounts pain and hardship to spouses and children and others in exchange for two shitheads getting laid IS fucked up, it is selfish, and it is foolish. A piece of wisdom, common to most cultures for thousands of years is that adultery is a bad thing for all. The outcomes of cheating are well documented and always painful. As for those who call other people "judgmental", every human being makes a decision about what they think about other peoples behavior at every moment. We ALL pass judgement, because we MUST in order to determine our course through life. There is nothing wrong with identifying bad/dangerous behavior and calling it what it is. There is nothing wrong with staying away from those people that do stupid, foolish, and dangerous things. In fact a person who condemns others for being judgmental is in fact - judgmental him/herself.

Err ...you do realize you're on a porn fantasy story website and not tryng to stop topless club getting zoned next to your kids school ? So other then your previous objections , how did you enjoy.the story ?

Look forward to future chapters. He should take her anal cherry, and she does ass-to-mouth.

This was a lighted story that was a change of pace and not a BTB for Loving Wives. I enjoyed it.

Hope the agents sign you.

Maybe a little re-arranging might have improved it (and maybe not!) The professions, by each of them, implying fideltity melted too quickly, but then Employee confessed that her professions were (kinda) bravado (after the tryst was a 'fait accompli.') Boss relented only a little.

Moral: Liquor may be quicker, but Dixie snow is surer ... however, you can't depend on getting a snow storm at the package store!

Sugna ... You will be offended much less in Non-Erotic ... perhaps also in Non-Human! Or, just subscribe to Readers Digest!

Sugna has his view of life and has as much right to express it as anybody else. As one who has never agreed with him, I always find his comments entertaining.

Although, as the good LordSD said, it would have been interesting to hear whether Sugna actually had an opinion about the story itself as well as his moral imperatives.

And sending Sugna to Non-Erotic won't help. He would find some of the behaviour there even more morally questionable than he finds in LW. (I put some there.)

Lue

Ps: Like others, I await with interest the further interactions of these characters and the inevitable discovery of their tryst.

I beg of you, Anonymous, what was the story's moral?

Lue

We will learn that Carla has also been fucking around, and maybe her kids are not even his; why not? Which will clear the way for him to marry Diane. Or we could do the polyamory thing, maybe including their friends Jack and Nell, who knows?

Will wait to rate, but so far kind of formulaic and predictable. I mean, it can only go 1 of two ways, unless you've got something original up your sleeve, which would be a nice surprise. I will wait to rate the surprise. Or not.

He could've slept on the floor, you know. ;)

Can't understand people who read Loving Wives stories, then complain that the characters are being unfaithful. Particularly the wives. A bit of a double standard here perhaps intensified by real life experiences. If you aren't turned on by a bit of cheating, then don't read the stories! Perhaps try some counselling instead.

I thought it was a well written story with realistic characters with whom it was easy to sympathise. Pregnancy adds an extra thrill and I'm looking forward to the following episodes.

great first work! As to Carla, only here would readers expect Carla to be in bed with the husbands of her friends, whose wives were almost certainly there, to be part of a fivesome?????

Doesn't the morning after pill still exist? She did say she didn't think having another child would help her marriage. If you screw up the night before, at least try to fix a bigger disaster the next morning. Why would you wait two weeks and just hope you are not pregnant. What kind of business are these people successful at anyway?

cheaters and assholes everywhere.

Wtf are you referring to when you mention about the neighbors, plaid, visitors not leaving, etc. Not good. Not even good questions, bad questions without enough explanation to even know wtf your talking about.

Are you indicating the neighbors husbands are visiting while youre gone and wont go home when youre there? Wtf are you referring to?

3

Sugna hits it on the head , in her explanation of cheating and about the judgements part. Fake stories are hot like watching porn but the stories that are true or stories that are based on truth are really fucked up when it's really happening. Not the story it's self.

And an equally diverse convergence of circumstances. His promotion, her pregnancy, her husband losing his job (moves in with his parents?) the live in neighbours, the office gossip.

It isn't finished don't bother

Where wives of guys at his house

No matter how well written, the characters are common cheaters.

Will her husband be as unconcerned with the pregnancy as the cheaters seem to be?

Ive seen piles of dog shit that were more erotic and smarter than this mess was.

Oh and btw no one out of the single digit IQ range would ever say "Don't know how we'll watch Fox News."

Don't bother reading this, there is no ending. Just stops in the middle. Very disappointing.

Iameasel, do you not know what percentage of the American population are stupid enough to watch Fox News? Most of them wear those stupid red fucking hats.