All Comments on 'Warriors of Xel Ch. 04'

This is a good start, but I think it could use more description. For example, even though Mari doesn't know what the pink sash is for, you could still clue the audience in. Expounding more on the men - what they're feeling and why - would be good as well.

I do agree with the last commentor, though. Also, you do know the apostrophe goes on the inside of an 's,' not the outside, right? (As in: "That is Bob's truck." Not: "That is Bobs' truck.") The exception is when a word ends with the letter 's.' (Case in point: "The servers' tips weren't very much." You can also write: "The servers's tips weren't very much." This is grammatically correct, but usually looks awkward.)