All Comments on 'Watching Brandy'

That's my take - that this little piece was an attempt to break your writer's block. From me, that's an incredible compliment, it says you can write, it says you don't belong posting erotic stories on this free site. And you don't.

So let's review. The plot theme was typical, been written a hundred times at least, and the ending was predictable. No great shakes there, although your actual writing, your connecting of subjects and verbs and gerunds and participals, was good. But not great. Every now and then you have grammatical errors, little slips, stuff that you should have cleaned up with your final draft.

If I have a suggestion to offer it would be that you use your wonderful metaphors on a better story line. Understanding that the variety of erotic story lines is rather limited, use your creativity to come up with something new.