by tennesseered
It is refreshing to see a story where the man is proactive and does not allow an affair to develop or resign to being a willing cuckold. Great job in setting up and developing the main characters.
i must say a sweet and super story Husband fight like a real man and wife do aright choice good keep writing
Intriguing and very well drawn - and in their own flawed way lovable - characters. Applause!
The more I read it, the more I like it. The flow is perfect; you're keeping it from running away from you, and you've hauled in the end of C2 in a way that's neat, sweet and concise.
Everything about David's attitude makes a woman go 'ah ha, yep, know the type'. It's easy to get suckered in if you're vulnerable, but once the rose tinted glasses come off the disgust sets in.
I'd love to see where C3 takes us. Role play? Reconciliation? Will David make a pest of himself?
A good story, easy and fun to read...It has some issues? Sure, but in the whole picture it's a good one...3*
Silly premise requiring huge suspension of disbelief, but fun in a way. We don’t often see husband and wife working together to terrorize the cartoonish villain. The personality changes between both husband and wife from the first page of Chapter One are a little hard to believe. But hey, this is fantasy fiction. Anything goes.
The Cop screamed through the Mega Mic.(I fucken hate those things especially when The Fucker gets feedback)..... Alright Everyone There's Nothing More To See Around Here!. Go Back To What Your Doing Before!.... That Statement is Outrageous Man! Think about it?....Clue!....Bank Robbers - Cheating Wives Etc.... All theoretically have permission of the Cop To Go back to what they were doing!
Anyway I am looking forward to the rest of the story! So far so good! ★★★★★ WOOF!
Part 1 was ok but part 2 was great. Keep writing, looking forward to the next one.
"He knows about us?" - That implies that there's an "us" to know about!
Thanks for taking the time to write it. Best read in days , with all the fag cucky shut this was a gem
If allowed to be imagery or metaphor, the wrap-up could of chapter 3 could really use this glossed over bit, and have it drawn out more, so the less sensitive readers among us can actually suss out exactly where the moral of this story comes from.
The "we need to talk" template is one of the most successful templates in use for these stories. It is fantastically easy to mess up the effectiveness of it as a creative crutch,, but with some effort, the reason why it CAN and often DOES work should be apparent with this effort. (so far, that is)
The biggest and most common mistake made in these stories is in the ending. Or lack thereof one that is satisfying. Really go over your work carefully before submitting. You are right at the point where most authors drop the ball and loose energy causing the entire effort to fizzle out. Be careful, and good luck!
does this phrase sound familiar and fitting, TK U MLJ LV NV
I mean, it's mindbogglingly implausible for the wife to make such a quick turnaround in having any respect for her husband, but I suppose one story with a woman getting hit by the Martian Good Wife Ray and the husband getting an unearned happy ending is fair, given how many we have of the opposite.
I gave it a 5 and enjoyed both chapters. Hope you’ll keep writing for us. Thanks.
Her attorney friend was a real slimeball. I suspect most of us are struggling with the over weight issue and may of us hit the booze too hard, so that part resonated. Will be interesting to see if hubby has the will power to change - it is difficult so to do.
Yes, that sounds familiar, but as usual, your attempt at profundity falls flat.
First, the quote (known as the Song of the Witches from Macbeth, by Shakespeare) is Double, double, toil and trouble.
Second, the poem is a recipe for a magic potion. How does that relate to this story? I didn't see anything about witches or potions or even any reference to any of Shakespeare's works. Do you even read the stories before making your comments?
Quickly! She'll have a much better life without him. He's a self-confessed jerk.
All the deplorables who venomously attack stories about Wives cheating or doing mean stuff to men are applauding this one. Its wrong for a Wife to cheat, but its okay for a fat ugly White Male Deplorable to spank his Wife by force, rape her and force her to stay with him. And, oh, the Wife suddenly falls in love with the fat alcoholic deplorable because he has mutated into a caveman rapist!
This story was written by a deplorable who was dumped and left and is fantasising of how he wished it would have been. And its loved by similar fat, ugly alcoholic deplorables. One of the commentators who loved this story confessed that he is a fat alcoholic deplorable.
Why are you guys so fucked up? Seek help, deplorable bunch
Interesting story, thanks!
I'm glad he saved his wife from the sleazy predator.
God, I hate these maroon lawyers!
The good thing is they really stand out with their purple-ish skin so it's really easy to spot them. However, it seems some wives are a bit color-blind and that leaves them wide open to the maroon lawyer's evil intent.
Ok, cheap shot at spelling over. Not a bad story for a quick read. Thanks.
Not erotic but hell he is fighting for his wife. Wtf do you all want? Sex go to bdsm there is more there.&
To Pencarrow: "What a maroon" is a well-known phrase heard in the classic Warner Brothers Bugs Bunny cartoons. I think its inclusion in this story was intentional.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_Kh7nLplWo
Dealing with a predator asshole and finding a path to rekindle a marriage. Looking forward to chapter three and I get it that the maroon was used because the "freaking moron" label is currently occupied.
This story was unique and engrossing, carefully but clearly painted, with an easy flow that makes you curious to know what happens next.
Didn't go the way I expected. That's good.
You know how to use words, grammar and punctuation to get your story across.
He was the cheater first. She never forgot and thought she could play. I guess all along she felt the urge to "get even" but didn't. No real need for ch. 3 but I'll check it out when it's posted.
That was pretty dang good. Five Stars. Don't know how you can end it any better than that. Seriously.
There are times when less is more. Thinking you would do well to stop here at Chapter 2 and move on to your next story.
This is an unusual story that doesn’t follow the usual Loving Wives templates. Sexual tension but no actual bonking, so strokers will be feel cheated. No idea where it goes from here. The husband. What a MAROON!
Wtf the wimp azz should have left none of this happened so fuk her
Don't bugger it up if you continue it.
Cutting Playboy's into fishbait. HoDoggies!
and then get proactive to keep his wife.
Was wife's move manipulative in nature? Probably not, 'cause he's cantankerous enough to reject it if it were. So it's a good thing he binged.
Having the love and support of a good woman can go a long way to helping overweight men stopping self destructive activities. The fact that she marketed herself with the LBD should never leave his mind. It might be a little while before she wears it again for him, but he should be using it as motivation.
And anybody who suggests that her wearing an LBD for someone else is grounds for divorce must think living a lonely, drunken pointless solitary existence is nirvana
I like this ending better. The other version is still schlepping along as a series into a full blown cuckold polyamory swinging swapping promiscuous whore story. May it live short and die poor.
The gun play was really really disturbing. You never ever pull an empty gun on a person you want to frighten. And it was totally unnecessary, and did no good. The asshole will be fucking stupid wives again as soon as his snake-sized brain forgets shitting his pants in that hotel room. And whatever wit he's got left will be used to nail Myra and humiliate Wendell. He needs to buy Mrya her own handgun and get her the training to use it. They have some decent snake shot in .380 caliber. I load silver tip hollow points, just in case the asshole has Vampire blood. CBTC.
I wonder if this shitty ex-attorney and LewspoopLuke are the same person?
Thanks for the effort. It was decent.
Initially it sounded like a humiliation tale with a cuckold ending, but it turned out to be a fine story. Being overweight and glued to the bottle is a bloody problem.
This is a well written and compelling story. Two heros with victory over deceit.
Thanks and I hope to read more of your efforts.
no. Who needs conditional love? Clearly there are circumstances where she will fuck him over. Make his plans, hide his assets and move on...while she still has a job.
if the promised Ch 3 is going to address how they arrived at this point?
There was some suggestion of a tragedy that triggered his alcohol dependency, but maybe the looming experience in their lives was his affair with Claire that precipitated the wife's willingness to start shopping.
Otherwise, not sure what you're going to do with Ch 3. While the self-help is a long way from done, the reconciliation is underway, they have pulled back from the abyss of divorce, and are even working at loving each other again. Where is the conflict going to come from?
Maybe you don't want to create more conflict. Maybe Ch 3 will be lots of makeup sex as an Aftermath to the near-tragic end of their marriage. If so, I'm ok with it. It might be boring in a literary sense but hot sex between married folk is more realistic than some readers realize.
Being publicly charged with 'almost plagiarism' (anonymously, of course) warrants investigation so I read a little of LewdLuke's magnum opus, 'Wife Wants a Hall Pass". It's a large, 28 chapter work spread out over 2 years which reads well but is nothing like my story that I could see, other than the broad, general themes common to almost all LW stories.
Which brings up a point. Since nearly every possible combination and permutation already has been written, what's left to write about? Fortunately, the possibilities are endless.
Now a personal note. I'm a little disappointed that I was unable to earn a '1 star cuck shit' rating. I'll keep trying.
I came here looking for a sex story and all I got was this crap. Why write a story without fucking on a sex website?
Sadly, you may have to remain "a little disappointed that I was unable to earn a '1 star cuck shit' rating." However, I'm pleased that you'll keep trying.
I'm not sure that your Premium Scotch abusing character tells the right sort of story to attract the Cuck Shit accolade. To be granted that, he has to do a variety of unspeakable things after his wife has had her tryst with a gentleman who must be described in the story as a 'bull'.
So don't give up. There's always hope.
Lue
Copied from another story absolute crap.why do these idiots bother to humiliate themselves by copying others ideas and making a crap story.Christ if your gonna cheat then at least do it well.
i liked it 5*. not normally into the gun toting husband thing but this was well done. at least the husband isnt a sanctimonious goody two shoes like many loving wives tales.
5* thanks
Better. Would have better without the cuck tease and outrageous pulling a gun and threatening him. Should have just earned him off at the coffee shop. But at least this wife isn't a fricking dimwit that can't tell that a guy wants to be friends only to fuck her. This one at least has some sense. Another step in the right direction.
So... Wendell is a physician who drives a 30 year old pickup? He certainly worked quickly getting the goods on David. The way he blasted David’s shiny armor off, exposing the slime, was perfect.
I could quibble and find shit to criticize...but I don't want to. It's fun to read and although I find a few things to be somewhat...implausible, I had too much fun reading it to nitpick. Myra certainly wasn't headstrong in this episode. I kind of like an intractable bitch- at a distance.
I had an incident with scotch when I was sixteen and haven't been able to abide it ever since. I prefer rum but I'd choose tequila over scotch, or even turpentine. So dump all the ice you want into it. It can't make it any worse. After all, it's only a high priced emetic. I think it's made by fermenting haggis in a coal tar solution.
I enjoyed this little cheeky tale. Thank You 5***** It was much better than I first feared. There has to be time in our lives for a little fun and fantasy, away from the heavy stuff that appears here now and then, good job, I just realized there are other chapteras… must go and check them out!
The husband avoids jail. Where he should be. How do you explain that? This story is coming off the rails.
Still interesting story even as it became an action/thriller ! I’ll keep reading the series as it twists and morphs ! 5 stars and a pat on the back
Great ending to the tale... But , is it really the ending? I thought I saw more chapters to the book. Hhmmmm. LP
@sbrooks103x
Thoughts
"He knows about us?" - That implies that there's an "us" to know about! -
Just as petty then as you are now. And so clever.
Funny how quickly the wife's attitude can 180 when the light finally turns on inside their self-centred mind. "Let's not throw away 29 years blah blah." Heh, the bitch was threatening that very thing just the other day. Where was that sentiment then!? He'll definitely need to keep an eye on her for sure though I suspect they'll be fine. She was just getting fed up with her husband's attitude and neglect and happened to fall into the crosshairs of a slimy predator. Never a good combination for a marriage.
Good story so far! I love the way he turns his marriage around and takes the lipstick off the pig.