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Finally I whispered that I couldn't take it, I needed him to fuck me again. He smiled at me with such satisfaction as he put a new condom on his perfect beautiful cock. He placed each of my feet on his shoulders and then slid into me again. His dick curved upward and from this angle he was hitting my G-spot perfectly with every pump of his hips and I struggled not to cry out in ecstasy. He put his strong hand over my mouth to keep me quiet and I sucked his finger in my mouth and mimicked each of his thrusts with suction on his finger, until we both came again simultaneously. He collapsed on top of me. His head resting on my heaving chest and I ran my hands through his sweat soaked hair, reveling in the manly way he smelled.
We showered together and we kissed and pressed our bodies together under the hot water in our last few moments alone together. We didn't speak, there was nothing that felt appropriate to say, but I could tell from the way he touched and kissed and held me that he felt it too. There was something incredible between us, that we could experiment with, but never truly have.
The sun was rising again, so I got dressed and went back to my own house as he curled up next to his gorgeous girlfriend, who I had fucked only hours before. I spent the whole drive home trying to decide which one of them I was more attracted to, and how I could be so lucky to have stumbled into such a spectacular love life.
***
This is actually part of a series I am writing with these same characters. If you enjoyed it, you may want to read its prequels, which are listed in my profile.
- COMMENTS
ISKwestover 8 years agoAs with the previous two stories, this one has a natural and realistic flow to it. The content better fits erotica, rather than porn. This is a compliment.
Something else similar to the previous story is the subtle emotional undercurrent. Three sentences capture it:
"he slowly took off all of his clothes. He stared into my eyes the whole time."
"but we both knew there was something fiery hot between us that we left unspoken for Shell and my husband's sake."
"There was something incredible between us, that we could experiment with, but never truly have."
For me, these three sentences provide the tension in the story. If not for the tension, the story would be only a description of an encounter, well written for sure, but still only an encounter. No drama.
This bit of emotional tension, a secret intimacy, provides the drama.
However, it's still only three sentences. The implication does not play out in the rest of the story. It doesn't really show itself in the interaction between Josh and Abby.
It may not be your purpose to delve into this more deeply, and that's up to you. I still think -- especially since you have the narrative description part of writing nailed -- that you might want to experiment with dialog (for example) as a way to bring the implicit emotional tension into the story, bring it more to the foreground as a dilemma and/or potential conflict.
literotover 8 years agoThis is the third of Abby's stories - she writes so well compared to so much on Lit and it's so refreshing not have the wham bam in the first paragraph but build up slowly to some really realistic sex - I just love her work and look forward to many more gorgeous stories.
