Wedded Fornication

With a frown I put my manhood away, and zipped back up. I washed my hands in the stream and we walked back up to the barn. The moon disappeared behind a cloud, covering our return.

The walk back in the dark was odd, Tonya asked the silliest of questions.

"Are you here legally?" She asked.

"Sure, I have a green card. Why?" I said in reply.

"No reason." She replied.

Later she asked. "Do you speak Spanish?"

"Not very well." I said confusedly.

She huffed and spoke no more. We kissed one last time when the barn was in sight.

"That was amazing!" She said. "I needed that!"

"So did I!" I replied, sporting a big grin.

She pecked me on the cheek one last time and left without looking back. We had agreed earlier not to walk together back. I debated contacting an uber, but decided that I had been fucked once already that night... it was better that I called for a cab.

I waited five minutes, then stood up from my hiding spot to re-joined the crowd. Finding my suit coat, I headed to the outdoor latrine when one of the servers stopped me.

"I need you to help that fat, drunk, bald, gringo get into a cab." He said this harshly in Spanish.

I may have replied thank-you, or Merry Christmas, I can understand the language, but speaking it is a real challenge. I had no problem helping out, I had nothing to do while I waited for my own cab.

When I looked over to where he pointed I saw Tonya and her boyfriend, he was still asleep, with his head on the table.

"Excuse me ma'am," I said in my best imitation of an English accent. "do you require any assistance?"

Her jaw dropped; perhaps it was the false voice, or maybe she hadn't expected to see me again?

"Uh... yes? I could use a hand." She said, her confused look quite obvious.

I got him awake, and on his feet quickly. He cussed every Mexican in existence, and even the Catholic Pope, at that I almost dropped him. He even accuse Tonya of cheating on him, but I knew it was the booze talking.

When we got outside he nearly clasped without my help. I put quickly thrust him up onto my shoulders to carry him fireman carry style to his cab. I saw the green and orange vehicle, and set him back on his feet next to it.

"Thank-you for your help." He said clear as day.

Now it was my turn to be surprised. I had creampied the love of his life, and marched him around on my shoulders like a cuckold on parade.

"Da Nada." I replied. I figured that Spanish was the best response.

He fished out an American five dollar bill into my palm. I felt honoured at this, and we both shared a grin, followed by a head nod before he stepped into the cab.

Tonya looked perplexed. I gave her a peck on the cheek, and whispered a dirty good-bye; she blushed, kissed me on the lips, then joined him.

I stood there as the cab sped away, then it dawned on me... they had stolen my cab!

I called the company back, and they said it'd be another hour at least. I was drunk, bored, and oddly frustrated, with no outlet. The server from before asked me to help clean up, and I did the best I could before my ride returned.

A week later my father telephoned me, I was in the Eastern US by then.

"How was the wedding son?" He asked.

"Not bad," I said. I couldn't recall much aside from Tonya.

"Your mother says there was some sort of scandal?" He said slyly.

I knew I hadn't been seen, but this was a piece of news I wanted to know.

"So... what happened?" I asked. "I don't recall anything of note?"

My father chuckled that laugh he uses when he knows I'm up to something.

"Apparently someone saw one of the guests having sex with the Latino waiters." He said between laughs.

"Oh?" I said non-commitally.

"Yes," He replied. "because of the dark, they couldn't see who they were."

I breathed a sigh of relief, and my father laughed again. He knew better than to push the issue. It finally dawned on me why everyone thought I was a server, my blue Armani did resemble their blue blazers.

We both shared a knowing laugh, I felt embarrassed that I didn't clue in sooner. What he said next shocked me greatly.

"Oh, before I forget, your cousin Sonia is getting married, we've all been invited." He said sounding bored.

"Oh FUCK!" I said dropping the phone.