All Comments on 'Wedding Romance'

"wedding (!) for his"

Why have (!) there? Sorry couldn't get past the first paragraph.

i really enjoyed these characters. more stories (development) of the relationship is desired. this series could run for a long time. Thanks for the good work

At least i hope it is.

This one feels like it has legs.

...the frequent misuse of exclamation points.

I'm of the mind that exclamation points should only be used within dialog - and

even that, sparingly.

Using them within the narrative, as you have done many, many times in this piece,

feels artificial and forced to me, as though the narrator/author is trying to make

the reader excited by showing his (the narrator's/author's) excitement.

I find it MUCH better when the author DESCRIBES something that is exciting rather than describing something that is ordinary, then adding an exclamation point as though to TELL me that the sentence was ABOUT something exciting.

Here are some examples of where I feel you misused exclamation points in this way:

1. It was his second weekend in the new city and he had been invited to a wedding (!) for his new boss' son.

2. and it was Justin's turn to wonder if he hadn't misjudged her age!

3. Justin caught more than one sweet glance of her legs and decided they were well worth the look!

4. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders pulling him closer, urging him on!

5. They were large and hard, so very aroused, so very beautiful!

6. ...seemingly trying to push him ever deeper into her mound!

7. ...her body so sweetly, sweetly satisfied!

8. ...she cried out as her second orgasm of the day filled her body!

9. ...the exquisite feel of an impending orgasm so close now, so close!

10. ... his cock spasming and shooting the final threads of his cum!

All of them Artificial. Forced.

As I said, it is largely a stylistic thing, but it is a pet peeve of mine, and you did it so frequently that I felt compelled to comment on it.

Here is a link to a page which discusses the issue:

http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/123202/when-do-you-use-the-exclamation-mark

-Rei

I really enjoyed the story. I would like to see you continue it to see where it goes.

Intriguing story line with a myriad of possibilities that lay ahead, a reader's cornucopia to see where it goes!

BRAVO!! More!

because we know almost nothing about them.

Rain loves her Justin very much. Well-written, my darling. You do us both ever so proud. See you soon, my darling. The beach lounge chairs are lonely without you there. *wink*

The way Justin was so gentle with Rain made this story so very erotic. I want to be Rain. There is a art to love making. Justin was a artist

this was written like a love story should be written and why do we need to more about them it is enough to know that they love deeply.

Nicely written, but I could do without the "sweet tunnels"

I agree with the comment that "we know nothing about them" but, presumably, you will "flesh out" those details in future installments.

What I'd really like to know is whether their meeting was happenstance, or whether Justin's boss and Martin "set them up"

Felt like I was reading the X-rated version of Jane Eyre. A very nice,romantic interlude,but I kept thinking that sooner or later,it would be revealed that Rain was the "damaged" member of the family who'd only recently been released from the asylum. And the bald dude with the prickly white whiskers,with forests growing on his chest and back! He seemed more to be a logger who'd knocked out a gentleman and stolen his clothes. ~ Oh well,it was a pleasant story and Woolly Bully did end up driving into her tunnel of love.