All Comments on 'Welcome Home'

really enjoyed it - thanks, more please.

Consider using a different pov. You just do not write well enough to do second person. Very few can.

Also having something worth saying would help. You don't.

Good story, very hot & well written. Ignore that first comment, what a jerk!

Overall good and well written. Since you asked for suggestions:

- Always the subject of debate but this is probably more BDSM than anal.

- A bit more focus on feelings and emotions. I didn't really feel how she felt about being handcuffed. Was there hesitation on her part? Fear she had gone too far?

- How did she feel when she was being ass fucked for the first time? Spend more time on what she was feeling, physically and emotionally.

Overall a really good first attempt. Keep it up! You have a lot of potential.

It kinda turned me on. I want to try this with my boy friend now.

No score!