All Comments on 'Welcome Home: Dirty Fuck & Snack'

Damn! Some people just love hitting themselves in the head with a hammer!

2nd. person is for instruction manuals, 1rst and 3rd person is for stories.

I have a mistress? My wife isn't going to be happy about this! It's also kind of odd that I don't remember sticking my tongue in anyone's ass. It seems like something I'd remember never to do.

Where is love in this story? After two weeks of his absence, they just had a dirty fuck and in the end of it she "gave him a little smirk, and then walked out of the room..."? Is this a loving couple? This is written in the 2nd. person...How did she know that he didn't finished jerking off, and didn't jerk off every single day of his absence? 1*

You write in an awkward style, but you can't help yourself. You wonder what everyone is complaining about, but you don't understand their view point.

This is a great story - very hot! Pay no attention to the others and keep writing.

The first clue was the use of 2nd person. Almost always a bad choice. It went downhill from there.

....confusion about their status as a couple, I was left wondering what I was doing spending my time at this.

Look, you generally write fairly well, complete sentences and a generally linear flow....but other than that they are horny and have abstained from any (well, much) sexual activity for some period, we don't know much about either of them, have no clue how they got together, what their individual marital status is, how they manage to keep the communications going so well, if they have other "obligations", and in the end, whether or not they are in a relationship or just fuck buddies.

Yup, you really need a storyline to chew on here.

Like a diet cola, it left me unsatisfied and with a slightly bitter aftertaste.

I would hope you would invest more into your next effort....and develop a seminal id a into a real story.

But thanks for risking and contributing.

Grammar police need to chill online at lit. Great story, just wish it was longer. Well done!

That some nasty stuff, and.not in a good way.

As noted, not for vanilla tastes.

Iiked the swichy aspects, good to see your man got to finally bust a load.