Wendy Confesses Ch. 05

After we'd "talked" for a few weeks I began to understand things a lot more. And I could see that I myself had some of those "leanings". I realised that at home I am more often the one who initiates sex and usually comes up with the ideas. I get to choose whether to suck my husband or to get on top. It was me who'd had him fuck me "doggy style" so many times in the last 12 months. I'd never thought about it, but I was quite able to "take charge" in the bedroom.

I soon had Lauren urging me to try for myself with one of my "men on the side". The reality is that I was feeling even more horny at the time since I was holding Michael at bay. My "sensible" brain was happy but my "naughty" brain told me to find a way to have more sex. I had so much confidence now when it came to getting into bed with men. I decided to explore some options. I started out just looking. There was no need to rush into anything. Besides, I knew that finding the right man was going to be difficult because I wanted him to let me lead but I still wanted him to have all my required attributes.

On top of that, I still had Michael and of course I was getting regular sex at home. I'd not been getting a lot of oral sex at that point, though. Its not Michael's favourite thing to do to a woman and you have to remember that often he only had time to fuck me over a desk in the office. So I decided to find a way to get more oral pleasure from my husband. We were lying in bed one Sunday morning and I got the courage to ask him. "Do you think we do enough oral sex?"

He wanted to know why I'd asked. "Do you think we should do it more?"

I lied and told him I had heard some friends talking and it seemed oral sex was "all the rage" with younger people. We're not too old for fun. So I wondered what he thought. Since then he has been "going down on me" more regularly and sometimes for longer. I always enjoy sharing that with hubby. There's not the same passion as I get with some of my "other men" but he is my husband and I enjoy his efforts to pleasure me.

But, you see, passion was the problem. As I'd been doing my "research" I found myself getting more and more tempted to try being more dominant with a man. I soon gave in to my needs and decided to choose someone. As seems to be the case always, my first couple of choices fell flat. For different reasons it turned out that neither of them were suitable, or even the kind of men I'd want to go to bed with.

Finally I found Adrian. He is a handsome fellow for one thing. I chose him mainly because, like me, he was looking for his "first time". On top of that he has a very lovely body. You see, by now I have enough experience to know what will please me when I'm naked next to a man. His penis is not Adrian's best asset - it looks beautiful, though I would say its only average in size. For once, however, I decided size was not the important criterion.

Adrian had never willingly agreed to let a woman be the boss in the bedroom. But it was a fantasy he felt he needed to experience rather than live with regrets. I knew just how that felt. He assured me he was ready and willing to try anything I wanted. While I was probably more nervous than aroused, I was really looking forward to trying him.

For our first time I made Adrian get us a hotel room. That was good advice from Lauren - test him with a few initial demands. As soon as the door was locked I was kissing him, feeling his body and getting myself into a proper state to have sex with a new "other man". I did feel strange, knowing I was to be "in charge" of our fucking. But when I pulled off my skirt Adrian knew what to do and went straight to his knees with his face right in front of my sex.

I will say that it was a very nice experience to have the man kneeling instead of me. But he was eager and I had so many great tips from Lauren. So as I allowed him to lick at my pussy I decided to try taking things further. It seemed so easy to grab a handful of his hair and pull his face harder against me. He groaned out his pleasure to me and I made the same kind of noise in reply. So I pulled his hair harder. I felt dirty but I felt good. For once I wasn't having to wait for the man to decide to pleasure me. I liked that.

Adrian really was keen and he was shoving his tongue in as deep as he could manage. I decided to help him, and make it better for me, by lying on the bed. I know that I have admitted many times to being a slut. All the same, I still surprise myself a little at how easy it can be to strip naked in front of a new lover. But on that night I felt very sexy and that confidence of mine was really doing the trick. I "made" Adrian get back to work "eating my cunt" and I decided to really play my role and start giving him instructions.

"That's the spot," I gasped to him when he licked my clit. It was the truth, too. "Right there," I told him as he plunged his long tongue into my sex hole. I reached down and grabbed his hair again, pulling him in and guiding him around my sex. "Lick me the whole way," I ordered, urging him to lap at me from top to bottom. I nearly came right then.

I felt incredibly indulgent and very sexy. He wasn't bad, either, and soon I had my first orgasm for Adrian followed by several more fine ones after that. True to his word, Adrian stayed down there, licking and sucking me, until I finally had him stop and allow me to recover.

After he'd stripped I could see he was very keen on my breasts. So I "permitted" him to give me a nice grope and suck of my boobs. It was strange to have control like that. It almost didn't feel right. Maybe Lauren was right and I am "naturally submissive". But I do love having my boobs played with and I can never get enough of a man sucking and licking my nipples. And there was nothing to stop me enjoying his cock at the same time so I gently fondled and stroked his cock until I could see that he, too, was getting wet with arousal.

I knew what to do - not let him cum too early in the night. So I gathered my courage and for the first time ever I actually ordered a man to let me "sit on his face". I actually felt a little embarrassed. Not because it was my first time but because it felt so weird and so "nasty". It was a little awkward also. Soon, though, we had it worked out and I pressed myself down, forcing my vagina over a man's face. Adrian loved it, working hard with his mouth as he grabbed at my bottom and my breasts. I did cum, too, just a little one.

"Good boy," I told him, trying not to giggle. He'd done so well I decided to give him a reward. He was going to help me have my very first "69". Oh my goodness, I am sure you cannot believe I waited this long. But I did and on this night I'd already decided I was not waiting any longer.

"Let me suck your cock now. But we have to do it 69. OK?" Naturally Adrian was very happy with that suggestion. I lay back on the bed for him, helping him into position. Once again, I didn't really know what to do and we fumbled a lot at the start. But his hard cock was pointing down at me, very much in reach, so I was happy enough.

I will make another "confession" now - I don't really think the "69" position works for me. Adrian was very good at it and his mouth on my pussy was very enjoyable. I think the problem was that physically it felt awkward. I am short and he is tall. Plus I was concentrating on his pleasure and wasn't really thinking about what he was doing with my vagina. It was fun, just the same, to have access to his cock, to be able to lick his shaft and suck on him, to stroke his balls and even the crack of his bum.

Finally I allowed him some rest. Myself too. I was trying to be "demanding" but in fact even my slutty pussy needed a rest.

I was still horny, of course. Being naked with a good-looking man just has that effect on me. I know I am a slut but I tell myself its due to my sexual peak. I "ordered" Adrian to fuck me, spreading my legs and inviting him to penetrate me and fill me up.

"Don't cum yet," I ordered him. "Don't cum till I'm done." Those were more little tips collected from Lauren.

The poor man really was excited and I could see he wanted to really pound my little vagina. But I had told him that his orgasm was forbidden so he was forced to take extra care and go slowly. He was not huge and yet I enjoyed him nonetheless, his average-sized cock bringing me off a couple of times.

I made him lick my bottom as well. You won't be surprised to hear that. Of course I took advantage of him in that way. After he'd finished fucking me I rolled over onto all fours. This time I didn't try to hide my grin.

"Lick me," I said. Adrian looked at me a little strangely.

"I thought you needed to rest it," he said, referring to my vagina.

"Lick me," I ordered him again. "The other one."

This time he got the message. He didn't hesitate. He was wonderful. Adrian hadn't exactly mentioned a desire to lick a woman's dirty hole but he had said he was willing to do "everything". So he got the chance with me.

As I have written before, ladies if you ever get the chance and you've never tried it then you must get a man to rim your anus with his tongue. With Adrian I could make it last for as long as he could manage. It felt so exquisite. It was certainly very indulgent. It was better than a backrub and I moaned softly for absolutely ages as he very stoically lapped at my little place and even pushed his tongue inside me. If I was ever to seriously become "dominant" I know I would make the man lick me back there for hours each week.

I admit I got greedy and I kept Adrian licking my backdoor for ages. I was playing with my nipples and enjoying the most delightful sensations of warmth and pleasure coursing through my body. I considered ordering him to finger my pussy as well but opted out. I didn't really need the extra stimulation and I was keeping something in reserve for him.

Finally even my little hole was needing a rest. So I took pity on the poor fellow. Wanting to stay in charge, I pulled myself away from him and turned on my side. "I want you to fuck me again," I said, and pulled up onto my hands and knees.

I let a man I hardly knew penetrate me, stick his hard penis into my pussy. I've done it many times now, of course. I never tire of it, let me say. Even with his average-size cock Adrian felt so good as he split me and filled me. I don't mind saying that I did orgasm twice for him even though he was still fucking me slowly.

I'm not sure whether Adrian screwed me slowly because he wanted to be gentle or because he didn't want to "blow". It was nice, though, for a while. But of course it was never going to be enough for me. I wanted him to show me some passion and really "let me have it". I wanted him to lose control and unload himself inside my cunt.

"Harder," I ordered him. "Really hard. Fuck me." I will admit it felt wonderful to say those things out loud.

He did just what I ordered and tried to start slamming into me. It felt good. Not great but good. My boobs were jiggling and bouncing underneath me. Adrian couldn't last long. I was just on the verge of my own climax when I heard him reach that point of no return. We came almost simultaneously with his semen squirting into me just as my vagina was pulsating and squeezing on his cock. It was lovely, to be honest, and quite sexy. As usual, I felt quite proud of myself.

After that I turned round and took his cock into my mouth. I didn't have to feel self-conscious or nervous about it. I was "in charge" after all. I sucked on his cock and cleaned him all up, getting the last of his semen into my mouth so I could enjoy his taste.

I enjoyed that first time with Adrian. Yes, I can say truly it was a little strange to be able to take the lead. I get used to it with my hubby, I suppose, but I've always been very satisfied with my "other men" to let them control me and "make" me do everything they want.

So I went to bed with Adrian one more time, about three weeks later. Once more I made him give me a good licking on my backdoor. I also made sure that when he was "eating my cunt" he used a finger in my bottom. It did feel fantastic to get exactly what I wanted and to have a man give so much attention to my backdoor.

We fucked a lot that night as well. I made Adrian wait and wait before I gave permission for him to climax. We were in the missionary position and I made him pull out. I ordered him to shoot his cum onto my tummy, putting his hot semen onto my skin. I had been lusting after that ever since Michael first did it to me. Adrian did just as he was told and erupted onto my belly. I loved watching his semen fly out of the head of his penis and it felt so "wild" to feel him splattering on my skin.

That, however, was the last time I had sex with Adrian. I expect it will be the last time I have sex in a situation where I have to take charge. I already knew, you see, that its really not for me. I had fun with Adrian and he was a very nice guy and good in bed. Even that first night, however, I knew that kind of sex was not going to make me fulfilled and satisfied.

Just days later I had gone back to Michael, craving his strength and his power. That is the truth, that is what I really want. I want a strong and confident man who can "force" me to do sexual things for him. A man who is able take what he wants from me.

I don't want to be abused, please don't misunderstand. No woman wants to be taken against her will. But I do love the idea that I have a lover who is capable of such a thing. It takes trust and the ability to swallow my nerves. But once that big body is next to mine, and his big cock is hard and ready, I don't want to say no to anything he wants. I want to feel like he can control me and make me do dirt things.

Its not about love, no at all. Its about my needs - illicit sex, dirty sex, cheating sex. Its risky and even dangerous and I am starting to think that might be why I get such pleasure from it. That and the fact that truly I get off on having new men, thrilled by the feeling of a new penis in my mouth and in my cunt. Oh yes, and the taste of his semen on my tongue! Each time with a new lover "on the side" he seems so excited to have me, just as I am to have him. I think that this really is the reason I enjoy my secret lifestyle so much.

So perhaps that's why its so strange that I returned to my old ways with Michael. Though I am still trying to limit the amount of fucking I have with him. My dilemma, you see, is that I don't want to risk being caught and I don't want to have to stop screwing Michael - or whichever man I choose for my next lover.

One of these days I am going to have to calm down and leave behind my secret slutty ways. I really do not know if I can do that or when. The "cheating" side of my behaviour is not what bothers me the most. I still am getting great satisfaction and pleasure from my illicit sexual adventures. On the other hand, as I have said, my husband suspects me and I wonder if I need to change things - even if just for a little while. So I have been trying to be less of a slut and to be content with what I have. So far, a new vibrator is helping and so is a second anal toy.

Although recently Michael did let me suck him off one night in a darkened carpark away from the club. It was after I mentioned to him my fear of being caught having sex in the office. That was a first time for me, sucking a man in a public place, and yet again I felt excited and proud. Sex like that, its always seemed to me, is for fumbling youngsters or true sluts. In truth I really loved the idea that it was such a brazen and "naughty" act. Michael came so beautifully for me, his seed bursting into my mouth so I could swallow him all down.

If I cannot find the strength to give up my wicked ways, I am thinking that what I need is a new "other man" who is a business man from out of town. Someone visiting for business, who wears a nice suit and can take me back to his hotel room. I've been lucky to live in a big city where I am sure I've had a good range of options to choose from. If I have to look to the occasional visitor, some kind of executive, my worry then would be to ensure he has the essential attributes I require. I do have my eye on a couple of gentlemen I have met on-line and they seem promising.

I shall have to wait and see. I've made no decisions yet. Which means, dear reader, that you will have to wait also. I don't know yet if I will "confess" anything more. I've appreciated the opportunity to "get things off my chest". Perhaps if the right man does come along I will take the opportunity. Then I might feel like telling you all about it.

I hope you'll wish me luck.

Wendy