by frozenhero1
Such actions between siblings can be very beneficial. It helps both of them out and they can decide how far they want to go.
omg that was great! im an only child but i can appreciate the way they were feeling... chapter 2 please!
This was incredible! There has to be a chapter 2 and 3 at least.
You definitely need to make this a series, cher!
I would have to agree with everyone else, there needs to be at least another chapter...maybe 2. This was a great story.
I too hope there's more to come on this story. The events sound completely plausible. This story is certainly ripe for continuation. Looking forward to more chapters, hopefully.
Completely believable, plus the fact I LOVE mutual masturbation stories, this one was added to my favorites.
Sounds completely believe able. My sister and I used to mutally masterbate when we were in our teens. Brought back memories. Thanks.
Nicely done. An editor would likely have caught the two or three grammar errors but even with them the story was well dine.
Thanks.
I love the realism, in both the set up and dialogue. I also liked how the tension remained throughout the story. This is how an incest story should be made.
As I've said in the title, I've never been a fan of masturbation stories but this was hot! My preferance is to get to the actual sex, although I realize masturbation is sex, isn't it??? In the words of Woody Allen "Masturbation at least it's sex with someone I love."
You have all the characteristics of a great story, good character development, believable plot line, appropriate suspension of disbelief, tension, etc... Well Done
way to fast no way would he go to her room that night. he would avoid all contact with her for weeks or more stop rushing and let the plot devolp naturally over time. the first page should have been spread out over weeks not hours. this reads like a first draft that needs a good editor and a rewrite before posting it does not read like a postable story. get a good editor and do a rewrite and do it properly.
what happened to the other one that's been going on for a long while (Beauty and the Geek). Seems it's been left hanging.
I fail to see why you have put your multi-threaded "epic" Beauty and the geek on hold to boldly go nwhere many hav gone before. Your new story is like straight line with predictable senarios in comparison with the epic that until now has continually turned to new directions, new players, new ideas that flow parallel with the main stream, but, are individual and interresting.
This one may eventually go somewhere, but, i"m disapointed in the choice you have made.
it started off a little too fast. i feel like it should have had more time to develop plot before the sex, but it it a good beginning.
PS: beauty and the geek has been on hold for too long. it is one of my favorite series and it would be a shame to leave it in stasis permanently.
Lots of moaners in the comments, but I loved this! Pacing is too fast, yes, but otherwise it's deliciously written. The smidgen of humour is great. Perfect for a quick, hot read! I hope there's a sequel... I'll have to go browse your other stuff.
Short, sweet, hot, and funny. Just the thing for a Friday night fap session. Again, loved it. You really know how to write erotic stories.
Unless you are related by genes and dna there is no taboo. Why do authors keep saying taboo when there is no direct relation between 2 people?
you give no background about them or what their relationship was like before this and you give us no reason to care about them or want them together. delete and rewrite and give the needed background and SLOW IT DOWN this isn't a race stop writing like you are afraid you are going to get caught. build the plot and characters before you start the sex as is this was a total waste of time just a first draft nothing more.
Actually it is taboo, not incest. There is a difference. Incest is within the family DNA-wise. Having sex with a step-sibling is still considered taboo.
As for the story, it's rushed, but not bad.
I's a (well written) short story, not a 15 chapter romance.
I like the way they progress through stages before full sex occurs at end of Ch 3, hope there is at least one more chapter
Glad youre writing again, frozenhero1 ive followed all your Charlie and Millie stories since chapter 1. Ps. My names nathan too
Good premise.
But the sex it too straightforward. Too automatic.
Not nearly enough discussion about what each of them fantasizes about the other while masturbating/
No attempt to slow things down and delay orgasms.
Four stars.