by hotwords229
The continuation of an amazing story. I love the way it builds from one segment to the next, with both Mark and Jill gradually overcoming their shyness and innocence. It’s so much more realistic than the two of them jumping all over each other in episode 1 would have been! Great storytelling. 5+ stars
That was... draining. Yeah, the CFNM was really hot and had a lot of the things I adore, but the lack of description and consant introducing of generically-named women with no actual description or notable personalities to differential the attached names meant I was constantly tilting my head whenever a girl was referenced by name. It meant my brain was working harder than it should have trying to keep the characters straight and follow the plot.
The lack of description just feels lazy, and by the end it detracted so much from the actual CFNM that I went from rating it 5 stars to rating it 2 stars by the end. This chapter also continues that bizarre tendency you have to use subjective terms like "great" or "amazing" for boobs and assume I can read your mind to know just what books you would describe as such.
It also felt like Cindy's potential character arc of loving to see her brother naked was completely dropped and forgotten partway through the story, which is disappointing.
All in all, amazing premise, really great execution of CFNM tropes, but the lack of description just completely crippled this story, especially when the fact you described naked boners so well caused a jarring contract between one part getting description but nothing else.
Missed potential, and the fact it was so good in places makes me lament the masterpiece it could've been...
This is the sexiest story on here plz dont let it end!!!!!!
Wow! Hotter than ever, Mark accepted photographic leadership from his own Mother's home. A winning submission, in a 'CFNM' trained household.