All Comments on 'What a Way to Wake Up'

I think it had a good story but would have liked the sex a little longer.

to short of a story and not enough details but with time i am sure you will do better

Needs more chapters. Thanks

Reads like stereo instructions. I did this and then she did this and so on. I would work on your method of writing a bit more but has potential.

you could have done better

Some good material here, but to be convincing or even believable, a story needs a lot more background and development. Motivation. Tease all three characters (and thus the readers). "Wham, bam, thank you ma'am" is not fiction; it's a cartoon.

So why would a 20 year old woman - who is obviously not a blood relative based on ages you provided, sis 20, you 18, dad left when you were young so this woman cannot be your dads, but i digress. Why would a 20 year old woman need to do this?

What the hell is this? Story doesn’t make since. Is girl British wife’s daughter? Why would she live with you? 20 years old and surely has relatives in England. If you go crazy we need a little back ground to make things plausible. Thank you

Needs proofreading and a more believable storyline