What Happens In LA...

I got the dreaded phone call at 2pm on a Saturday afternoon; it was from Jenni, my best friend from high school.

"Jenna, Guess what?" She said unable to contain her excitement. "I'm getting married."

"Jenni, that's fantastic." I say, trying hard not to choke on the words as they spew out of my mouth. Don't get me wrong, I love Jenni to absolute death and I truly am excited for her, it's just I don't know how I feel about the whole marriage thing.

"I want you to be my Maid of Honor." She says in a tentative tone.

She had just talked me through my recent engagement breakup after I found my boyfriend in our bed with his ex-girlfriend.

"Jen, I don't know."

"I know, I really hated to ask but it would mean the world to me. It's what we always talked about, remember? It wouldn't be the same without you."

That was true; we talked about this moment since we were seven years old. We were going to be best friends forever, be in each other's weddings, our children were going to grow up and be best friends just like we were...we had it all planned out.

Jenni and I met in the first grade and quickly became best friends. Everyone called us 'the Jen Twins' and we were inseparable until Jenni got a scholarship to UCLA and moved away seven years ago. We had always talked about being college roomies and even applied to all the same schools. When she got accepted into UCLA and I didn't, she said she wasn't going to go but I knew she wanted to and it wasn't fair for her to end up at a community college in Michigan just because my grades suck. I encouraged her to go even though it broke my heart that all of our plans were about to change.

"It's been a rough year for me. I don't think I can afford..."

"It's on me, Girlfriend. I'll pay for your plane ticket and you can stay with me and Damon, I'm sure he won't mind he's been wanting to meet you for years."

"You're not going to pay for me to come to wedding and I am not going to stay with you and your boyfriend."

"Fiancé."

"I am not going to stay with you and your fiancé."

"Jenna, please. I'm begging you."

"Okay, I'll come. I'll be in your wedding."

"Love you, You're the best!"

After months of long distant preparations through endless emails and texts, it was finally time for me to make the trip to California to see my best friend who I hadn't seen in over four years.

Stepping off the airplane, I make my way through the throngs of people to find the cutest, stinking couple I have ever seen making out by the airport coffee shop. Jenni hadn't changed a bit; still as beautiful as ever. Her long blonde hair lying in perfect ringlet curls down her back. She's dressed like she just stepped off the runway with a pair of white shorts, a crop black blouse, a white sequined blazer and 2 inch heels. I suddenly feel incredibly underdressed in my sweatpants and t-shirt.

I knew her boyfriend Damon was an attractive man but the pictures on Facebook didn't do him justice, he is gorgeous, I'm talking Channing Tatum hot. I walk all the way up to them before they even notice I am there, too preoccupied with each other's lips.

"Jenna!" Jenni says, pulling away from her handsome man to wrap her arms around my neck. She hugs me for what seems like forever, saying, "God, I've missed you so much."

"Me too."

"Babe, here she is; the one I've been telling you about for forever, my bestest best friend in the entire world, Jenna. Jenna this is Damon.

"Hi Jenna, it's nice to meet you." Damon says, smiling to reveal a dimple on his left cheek and he's got a British accent. Are you freaking kidding me! The man is perfect.

"Hello. It's...good to meet you." I say, stumbling over my words and feeling like an ass.

"Are you hungry? Do you want to get something to eat?" Jenni says.

Do you even eat is the first thing I think to myself? She's as thin as a rail. "I'd like to get settled in, maybe clean up a little."

"Sure, but you look fine." Jenni says, in her patented way trying to convince you of something that totally isn't true.

"You look great." Damon says.

"I know right? I told you she could be a freaking model." Jenni says, handing my carry-on bag to Damon and grabbing my hand.

As we pull into their beautiful condominium complex, Damon grabs my luggage out of the back of his black Cadillac Escalade. We head through the palm tree-filled courtyard and up a winding staircase to their second floor condo.

Their place is absolutely exquisite; with incredible architecture design and decorated to the hilt with expensive furniture and accessories.

I sit down on the bed in the guest room peering out window that overlooks the large crystal blue swimming pool. I guess this is the way you live when you're a lawyer in Los Angeles, California and not a waitress in Ann Arbor, Michigan. I try to push the jealous thoughts of my head.

"Be happy Jenna." I tell myself even though everything inside of me wants scream and yell and throw stuff.

"You okay?" Jenni says sitting down next to me on the bed.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say, stretching my arms over my head faking a yawn. "It was a long flight, I'm exhausted."

"Oh no you don't! You are not weaseling your way out of spending time with me tonight, my friend!" Jenni says, pulling me up off the bed. "Get dressed, we're going out."

After a nice dinner with a few drinks, we end up at a pub where a lot of Jenni and Damon's friends hang out. Jenni spends the entire night trying to set me up with someone. She introduces to a couple of guys she works with and one of Damon's friends, none of which do anything for me. I try to entertain her but it's bordering on annoying.

"I'm okay Jen, really."

"I just want you happy."

"I am." I say, vehemently trying to convince myself. I scan the room only finding one guy that I find faintly interesting until he ends up meeting up with his boyfriend.

"I think she's trying to find someone here so that you will want to stay. She really wants you to move out here." Damon says, after Jenni makes a trip to the girl's room.

"I figured that was what she was up to." I say, downing the rest of my Long Island Iced Tea.

"I'm sorry for what that jerk did to you last year."

"She told you about that?" I say, feeling my cheeks flush.

"Yes but don't get mad at her, she was really upset and I basically had to pry it out of her."

"What are you two talking about?" Jenni says, sitting back at the table with another round of drinks.

"Nothing." Damon says, pecking her on the cheek. "Thanks, Babe."

Why do they have to be so goddamn cute together? I down my new drink in one gulp.

At some point during the night, I seem to get myself in a little bit of trouble. All I know is somehow my phone got broken and the police were called. Luckily, some people Jenni knows were able to defuse the situation and I wasn't hauled off to jail.

The night ends back at their apartment at around 2:30 in the morning. I flop onto the bed, clothes and all, as the room seems to spin around in circles above my head. I hear Jenni and Damon talking in the other room, she's giggling. There's more laughter as something crashes to the floor with a thud. The mattress springs creak as their headboard bangs rhythmically against the wall between the bedrooms.'Oh God, oh, God, yes!' Jenni screams from the other room making me want to hurl. How the hell does she get everything she wants!

I wake up the next morning feeling like shit. Jenni and Damon are happily chatting in the kitchen.

"Good morning, I think." Jenni says with a grin as I come walking out of the room like a zombie.

"Uhhmm." I mumble incoherently.

"Looks like you could use some coffee." Damon says, handing me a freshly-brewed latte from their commercial-sized espresso machine. "Do you like Vanilla lattes?"

"Uhhmm." I mumble gratefully, sitting down at the counter covering my eyes from the bright California sun blaring into the window as if mocking me.

"Babe, I'm going in to work for a little bit today. What are you two going to do today?" Damon says, throwing a bag over his shoulder.

"We are going to catch up a little and then get ready for tonight." Jenni says, raising her eyebrows up and down.

"The bachelorette party!" Damon says, winking at me playfully.

"Oh joy." I say, mustering every ounce of energy I could into those two words.

Reluctantly I asked her about what happened last night. Apparently I thought a man was hitting on me. It turns out the man was a very prominent judge in the county. At some point in the course of the event I chucked my phone at him hitting him in the face and then proceed to verbally assault him. The police were about to be called but a man from Jenni's work was able to talk to the judge and he said he would let it go but told me I had better stay out of trouble for the rest of my trip. Jenni thinks the whole thing is hilarious. I'm mortified!

I steer the conversation in a different direction and we start reminiscing about old times.

"Do you remember Brady Coomer?" Jenni says, sipping on her cup of spiced Chai tea.

"Of course." I say, growling in my throat at the very mention of his name. Who could forget the first boy me and Jenni ever fought over who also happened to be the boy that both of us lost our virginity to.

Brady was the most popular boy in school; he had good looks, he had talent, he had money, he was smart. He was the total package. I dated him in the eighth grade until the middle of our freshman year when he broke up with me. Shortly after that he asked Jenni to go out. I told her not to, I told her he was an asshole but she didn't listen. That was the one and only time we ever fought.

"Did I ever tell you why we broke up?"

"Because he's an ass."

"Yes, he is but more specifically because he wanted all three of us to...you know, do it together."

"What!" I say, shocked that she had kept this little bit of information from me for all these years. "Are you kidding me? What the hell?"

"Yeah, he said he liked me because I was smart and pretty and funny but he liked you because you were better in bed, he said having us both would be the best of both worlds. He actually said that to me."

"Holy shit. What a fucking perv."

"I know, right?"

After a late lunch, two of Jenni's friends come over and we all start getting ready for the bachelorette party. Nadia, a thin brunette beauty works with Jenni at the same law firm. Tara, who was Jenni's roommate in college, is a dark-haired, slightly heavy set girl who makes it a point to mention that she planned this entire party.

Curling irons, straightening irons, Bobbie pins, hair clips, hairspray and makeup of all shapes, styles and color fill every inch of Jenni's huge master bathroom. We curl and tease, clip and straighten, primp and polish, until we look like we belong in Vogue magazine.

As the girls start changing into their outfits for the night, it's blatantly clear that I am way out of my league here. They are all wearing designer clothes that probably cost more than I make in a year. I pull out my department store little black dress from the closet and stare at it, wanting to crawl into a deep, dark corner to hide.

"You about ready?" Jenni says, coming in the bedroom to check on me.

"I'm sure it will look amazing on you." She says, seeing me looking with disgust at my cheap dress. When I roll my eyes at her, she offers, "Or you can wear one of mine."

She comes back with a little black dress like mine only it is a Versace. I slip it over my head pulling it down to where it barely covered my ass.

"I don't know about this."

"Oh my God, you look gorgeous!" Jenni squeals with excitement causing the others to come in to see what is going on. "Doesn't she look hot?"

"I can't even bend over without showing my underwear."

"Okay, you don't want to show those." Nadia says, looking down at my black and white polka-dot cotton underwear.

"Got it." Jenni says, running out of the room. She comes back with a pair of satin black thongs on a lacy wire hanger with the tags still attached as well as a pair of Jimmy Choo heels.

"I think it looks a little tight on her." Tara says. She has a lot of room to talk considering her breasts are basically spilling out of overtop of her dress.

"You girls look absolutely stunning." Damon says standing at the doorway of the guest room. I don't know how long he had been standing there and whether he witnessed me changing my underwear but it made me blush.

He walks up to Jenni and wraps his arms around her waist. "You especially, my love."

"Thank you, babe." She says, reaching around to plant a kiss on his cheek.

"Are you guys ready for some fun tonight?" He says, clapping his hands.

"You know it." Nadia says, giving Jenni a high-five.

"Tonight is your bachelor party isn't it?" Tara says.

"Yep, our last night of freedom, baby." He says, making vulgar motions with his hips.

"You better be good." Jenni says,smacking his arm. He pulls her into his arms, brushing his lips against her neck. He slides his mouth from her neck to her cheek and finally wedging his tongue in between her lips. His hands grope her body making their way up to her cheeks to pull her closer into him.

"Careful with the makeup, it took me all day." She says, pushing away from him to catch her breath.

"We'll continue this later..." He smiles, kissing her hand before walking out.

"Ohh Jenni, you are so lucky." Tara says, nearing an orgasm just watching them.

As we head out into the parking lot, a giant stretch limo is waiting for us. We jump inside, immediately busting open a bottle of champagne and squeal in excitement as we take off. The limo picks up three more girls who are in the bridal party; Chloe, a pretty blonde with striking blue eyes,who is another one of Jenni's college friends; Allie just turned twenty one last week. She and Jenni were neighbors until she recently moved out of her parent's condo; and Kaytee is Jenni's cousin from Oregon. She's in her mid-thirties and is, how do I put this, not very attractive. Jenni told me earlier that she only asked Kaytee to be in the wedding because her mother begged her to.

As soon as the whole bridal party is together in the limo, Tara hands out white sashes to Nadia, Allie and Kaytee that have 'Bridesmaid' embroidered on them. She hands one to Jenni that says 'Bride-To-Be'. She hesitates for a moment before giving mine to me that says 'Maid of Honor'. With a forced smile on her face, she puts on her own sash that reads 'Bridesmaid'.

The limo takes us to a swanky Hollywood restaurant with some of the best food I've eaten in my entire life. After dinner, we get back in the limo, drink even more alcohol and start acting like teenagers hanging our heads out of the windows and hooting and hollering at people walking the streets from out of the sun roofs.

The more Tara drinks the more she talks about how much fun she and Jenni had in college, about what great friends they are and how they been best friends for the last seven years. She goes on and on and on. The more she talks, the more I drink.

We finally end up at one of the hottest clubs on the LA scene where we are escorted inside the building, celebrity style. The place is packed with people from wall to wall; music thumping, lights flashing and bodies rocking. Jenni grabs my hand when I almost get lost in the crowd of people and we head to a private area set up for our group with all kinds of different finger foods. We sit on a long cushioned bench talking, laughing and drinking.

A group of guys start hanging around, talking with Nadia and Chloe. One of the guys tells them that he is getting married next week and they introduce him to Jenni. They start talking wedding details. We find out that he and a couple of the other guys are firefighters for Ventura County which prompts Tara to make a ridiculously cheesy comment about it being hot in here.

Each of the guys sits between one of us girls trying to decide which one of us they want to hook up with.

"What's your name?" The one who has his sights set on me says. His eyes won't budge from the hem of my dress hoping to catch a glimpse of what's underneath.

"Not interested." I say causing the guy to move on to easier targets.

"Be nice Jenna. You'll have to excuse her she had a rough one last night. She flew in from Michigan and got a little too tipsy and about got herself into some trouble." Jenni says, laughing hysterically.

"My God, Jenni is there anything else you'd like to share about me?"

"Oh I have plenty."

Nadia is already snuggled up next to one of them with their fingers intertwined. Allie is slumped back on the couch already having more to drink tonight than she has had in her entire life and Kaytee isn't letting her shortcomings distract her from flirting with any guy who will pay attention to her.

"I want to dance!" Chloe says and everyone follows her out to the dance floor. There is barely enough room to move with bodies pressed up against bodies. I've never been much for dancing but I give it my best shot for Jenni's sake with the help of all the alcohol I've consumed already.

"Hey." An attractive man in a blazer and jeans says mimicking my awkward dance moves.

"Hey." I say before turning around to dance with Jenni.

"Who's that?" She mouths, motioning with her eyes at the man who is now dancing right up behind me, touching his crouch against my ass.

I shrug my shoulders.

"He's delish." She whispers, fanning herself with her hand. She reaches over my shoulder and shouts, "Her name is Jenna."

"Oh great, thanks Jen." I say as the guy maneuvers his way to face me.

"Hi Jenna, I'm Ian." He says gyrating his hips in front of me provocatively. At first I don't mind, but when he starts pawing me and rubbing his body up against me, I get a little uncomfortable. I nod at him politely and then push my way through the crowd to get away from him but he grabs my arm.

"Come on, Jenna don't be like that. Let me buy you a drink." He says, leaning in close so that I could hear him over the roar of the music and the crowd.

"Listen Ian, I'm not here to meet anyone. I'm just here to have a good time with my friend who is getting married in two days so if you don't mind..."

"Just let me buy you a drink." He says, cutting me off. I don't think he heard a word I said and I don't even think he cares.

"Okay, whatever." I say, frustrated by his relentlessness.

He comes back after a few minutes and hands me a glass of some type of alcoholic beverage with a little black straw. At least he could have asked me what I was drinking. I smile gratefully at him and take a drink. He smiles back at me with a smug satisfied look on his face, acting like he somehow thinks he won me over. I decide to play with him a little, the arrogant bastard.

I spin around, shaking my ass in front of him, whipping my hair from side to side. Pressing hard against him, I feel a bulge begin to grow in his pants. He places his free hand down around to my stomach while he chugs the drink in his other hand. I turn back around to face him, running my hands along his body as I drop low to the ground spreading my legs open to hive him a good show before slowly rising back to a standing position. He licks his lips as I rub my body over his now fully engorged shaft.

Right when he thinks he has me where he wants me, I walk away, finding another horny asshole looking for a hookup. I wave at him, laughing as he heads to the bathroom trying to inconspicuously hide the fact that he has a gigantic hard on. Guys are such dicks!

"Where's your friend?" Jenni says when I make it back over to her after ditching my next victim.

"Gone." I say, taking a sip of the drink Ian gave me.