All Comments on 'What Just Happened? Ep. 01'

... to be a good story. Looking forward to where it goes.

"comportment" and "melancholic" are not words used often, if at all, in American English. Have an American friend take a look at the story before you submit it and he can tell you how to make it "American." And, actually, we don't mind if you write it in a British style if that's more comfortable for you. As long as the story is good, we're not that picky over here.

to be a HOT one! Please continue to drag it out to a great conclusion with all the juicy, nasty bits in between. That's my encouragement.

some US citizens are about 'their' 'English'! The majority of the world's English-speakers do not use US spellings. I for one reserve the right to write in the culture to which I belong. I refuse to 'americanise' my birthright because some people are too egocentric and xenophobic to recognise and respect the right of others to use their own language. Splutters ...........

Don't take any notice of the suggestion to "Americanize" your writing. There is a whole lot of other countries in the world that read in English, and we all have our own variation of the language. You should write in your own version and the rest of us can usually manage to understand what the writer is trying to communicate without much effort.

I liked the set-up. I like the tension between the brothers. Also, that frisson of confusion, lust, and betrayal speaks for itself as you wrote it. Powerful stuff! Lots of intriguing possibilities to play with here. panting for the next chapter to see where you go with it! Cheers! (A Yank trying to sound British)

I enjoyed your story, just keep on writing.Us Americans like reading the stories more than anything else. If you would like to seem American replace arse with ass; going to Univerity with going to college. Glen just keep writing, make sure you please yourself frist; then worry about everybody else.

This is an excellent and very subtle story by a gifted writer 18 to 22 years old, so perhaps a late teenager. For such a young author it is truly remarkable. The narrator is himself 18 years of age, so it's inevitable that watching his mother getting fucked by his best buddy he starts thinking about fucking his mother himself. It's what all boys want to do deep down, even if they try to lie to themselves about it. A boy's stiff young prick up his own mother's cunt, his hot young balls letting loose and flooding his mother's twat---it's just beautiful!

you don't have to americanize your stories just do a better job writing it. your writing sucks if you care about the story do it right or not at all. if you use odd or antique words use the ( ) to give a modern word meaning the same thing. the way you write it sounds like you are writing for your self not the reader which is fine JUST DON'T POST IT. if you are writing for the readers make damn sure it is done properly.

Jay should have got his ass kicked by his friend when he found out that Jay was using him so he could fuck his friends mom. It should not have happened and could have been stopped if the son had done his duty and confronted his mom and Jay in the act and that would have shamed both his mother and his friend jay and then when it is out in the open. then let the mother explain the situation

: )

Fucking hot story! I watched my mom fuck twice and I still use the memory once in awhile.