All Comments on 'What The...? Ch. 04'

If I suspend any sense of reality I can say this is marginally better than part 3. However you've made the effort to write and post so thanks for your efforts.

If this is the end... It's garbage, and I'll never read anything by this author again.

Epically bad. This is as bad as Richard Gerald. I just skimmed, but I can't fathom how anyone could think there was anything entertaining or interesting about it.

The alternatives I've been given are continuing abuse and mental torture, plus a heaping side of humiliation in the workplace, or prison.

Well, if I'm going to do the time, I might as well do the crime. One workplace rampage/massacre, coming up!

I understand the awfulness of having an author who believes that molesting children is ok and this is on par. Do not complain but feel sorry for the author. He is so bad that you need to feel sorry for him and maybe protect him from himself.

Hope to see the husband win in the end and please do not make it a cuckold story

If they are going to put him in Prison you might as well be hung for stealing a sheep instead of a lamb.

I would buy a gun and visit the office for a chat with them all.

Just let the poor bastard kill himself but not before he kills that cunt who calls herself a "wife".

Absolute shit. 0 stars.

To bad can't vote below 1.

wimpy cuck shit.

You won't have to read anything from this author again , because they'll never post under this username again.

You see this is some other author using what they call an "Alt" . Then they go back to their forums and laugh at all the folks they riled up.

You see , there is a thing with certain authors on this site ( not all certainly , just a very small minority ) that they simply don't realize that they aren't very talented , they blame their own talent shortcomings upon every one but themselves . They think that the majorities of people who visit Lit are simply to dumb to recognize their delusions of grandeur , so they take out their spite and secret self loathing on the audience . There is a group of them who congratulate themselves in private by getting back at the "imbeciles" who aren't bright enough to recognize their obvious " brilliance".

It's actually quite sad once you understand these poor deluded people.

You can usually spot them by going to their homepage , there will be very sparse information on them . No favorites listed . And usually a very recent joined date.

So , my advice , is simply ignore them , this starves them of the attention they obviously crave , but aren't talented enough to receive it the real way.

If you are willing to kill yourself, you are willing to kill. Wait for the next gang bang and kill them all. Run, stay and fight it at trial or finish the job. That is the way to end this story.

i do hope john wins in this story some way, and the company and asshats working there pay dearly. either with prison time or their lives

but will his mind thaw it all out. TK U MLJ LV NV

The only way I see a decent ending is for him to say if you really love me let me go.

Come on do me a favor and turn this story into gang(bondage) rally the troops and sink this story.

How the gods given hell can she claim to love him? I am seriously thinking she has a lot of mental health issues and I am waiting to see his "Real" friends come in and help him out of this mess.

If she keeps this up he will literally go insane and she will wake up to find that he has slit his wrists or hung himself. As others have said if she has ANY love for him she needs to let him go. Otherwise I see her getting something truly terrible as an STD and getting herself, her lovers and him killed because of it.

This is a well executed forced cuckold story. The descriptions of the sex are bland, but the development of the emotional turmoil of the husband is excellent. It certainly has the boo-birds worked up. 4*

So where is chapter 3 - not on your profile page.

You take an utterly ridiculous concept (how could 20 men (plus the mailroom boy) do something like this multiple times and get away with it?

And you then tell the story in such a way that disbelief is suspended and we read along to see how our hero can extricate himself from the situation.

I thought this horse shit was finished..."Even a rat when cornered fights for his life!" Doesn't commit suicide...So this story still stinks like horse shit, and I don't see how the writer can transform horse shit into brass, much less into silver or gold! 1*

That your computer freezes

I wish i could negative points. This is purely for making normal ppl angry - so you have a good laugh when reading the comments? You're not well in you're head...

You had better bring this to a really good conclusion. I don't mean a mamby pamby barely there revenge. Your readers want blood. Heaven help you if you decide to make the hero a pussy and just accept his fate.

I broke down and remained motionless for twelve hours. I woke up in Singapore with no idea how I got there. Life as I know it is over. This writer has so many of us in his grip. He will ruin our lives if we don't keep reading the story. We know that. He is doing it out of love. He wants us to know that it's fiction, but not literature. Suicide may be the only way to get out of his control..

He's building up to something here, no telling what it is but I have a suspicion. The writer definitely has our attention!

what is wrong with this writer .. is he totally sick .. is he a faq .. is it his thing to be a cuckold .. fuck there has to be something wrong for to be writing this drivel.. pure shit

Can you hear the drums, the angry stamping of feet, the guttural cries? Watch as they shake their warclubs, their stone tipped spears and their primitive bows and know this, you better appease these buggers or they'll be eating long pig (the author) tonight.

This is awful.

Will revenge start up soon please. They gave him the info no walls he has to do is figure the paper work out and all them will be in jail , he will sue for millions and his cunt wife will regret every cock she fucked. Please start the revenge

Good title, describes quite well the reactions of a lot of readers to this story.

I'm not in the grip of anything. I'm inclined to skim the wife's unapologetic behavior, the 'smirking' rapists, the crying husband. It doesn't take good writing to make my stomach churn; it just takes stomach-churning content.

Assuming that chapter 2 is an integral part of this story -- I say 'assuming', because as of now it seems not to be -- assuming that chapter 2 is integral to the plot development, then we can expect a so-called 'twist' that turns the story on its head.

Do I expect it? No, based on how the story is written. Specifically, the way the husband and wife act in private does not suggest a convoluted shared scheme to trap the drug-rapists (which is what ch 2 suggests). The wife acting on her own with this goal is hopelessly over the top, story-wise. If the twist doesn't come then ch 2 is out of place. If the twist does come then the writer has simply written himself into an unbelievable corner by trying to keep the twist hidden.

Ignore the groaners ---they're never satisfied . All this is free , including YOUR time and effort . I like the story , your developing it very well . PLEASE keep it up and DON'T be dishearted by the losers , who nearly always remain annonamous

anony is just an old fat ugly fag, did I mention he's old1 really old?

Just for the hell of it !!!!

that will go on forever and ever as the misogynist writer pulls john down to his own level?

Boring and stupid.

5 !

# 1 Sick minds. No literary value in this crap

...into The Rose Law Firm.

Or really any law firm in the United States...

sorry, but this is not very good. if his life is over then He should be taking as many with him as possible. For even a hint of reality you need to write in som major workplace violence.

Please let the guy grow some balls.

First thought: LOL HDK!!

2nd thought: yeah - it may well be a scarecrow author scenario here.

3rd thoughts: Hmm.. is this plot line at all rescue-able? I get the AK-47 compulsion angle, big time. After all, if I'm going to go to prison anyway, it might as well be for killing all the bastards. Or, perhaps his revenge might best be served VERY coldly.

He could go all wimpy-appearing on them, and go find some diseased men to do her so she spreads the contagion among all 20-plus-the-mail-boy at the office and then just walk over to the police and ask them all to get tested. Nothing like having some proof-providing blood work to back up his assertions that they are all fucking him over when the shit hits the fan. Something along those lines could work, but then we're taking our semi-wimpy husband down the super-hero/super-spy-ish road, and we've read those stories before. So, if this author is looking to do something "different" then we'll have to see him produce some great mind-work, and he hasn't yet shown us he's capable of that. So, unless this has all just been a "setting the stage" piece so far, it is all just worthless crap.

He is not willing. He has not begun to look for a way out or payback. Yet. He should wire his office to record sound, then take the tape to the DA with as much about their framed boss as possible. Or the bastards just start disappearing.

I'm not sure what the howlers are bitching about as IMO we are still in the set up. I think the fun stuff is coming. For your first submission I am impressed with the story, twisted though it is.

No score yet.

JimC

If you were going to kill yourself over this crap, why wouldn't you kill all the bastards and that bitch first? SO far , he is so pathetic that I don't even feel sorry for him. Unsympathetic characters are a death sentence for any story.

If this story doesn't end with a few well placed bullets.

Ignore the idiots, going to assume he is not going to roll over. He loves his wife but it seems she has murdered it and it will die. Revenge sure, how devastating well he can go the violence route but i imagine he wont. Legal most likely, and she will get dragged into it as a member of the conspiracy

I agree I think he should find a person with AIDS to fuck her so she could pass it to everybody except him because he would never fuck her again knowing she was a contaminated bitch

Very enjoyable. Five stars. Well written and really stokes up the emotions and imagination. Congratulations. I do hope you won't leave it there as it really does need a conclusion. Certainly our hero needs this to come to an end in one way or other - please don't let it just be passive acceptance!

Just fantasy...fry the bastards and bury the wife

Very curious now if you're going to leave him a cuckold or he'll kill himself and/or the wife and assholes.

Also, the wife's change was incredibly abrupt and kinda awkward but that's kinda par the course with 1 page stories.

Hubby finds a way to free Carter and get even with the partners and put them in jail. This goal should be his reason for living. Then he can send his wife packing.

I really hate that you turned the man into a crying little baby chuck!

this has to be, no this is the worst story i ever read on this or any other site. For people to ask for more is scary me i am a retard the same as them and will comment no more on stories, when you have read the worst how can you say anything else.

But please don't drag on too long.

I hate waiting for chapters. You are dropping a couple at a time and that's cool but sometimes it feels like by writing chapters we end up reading a lot of fluff. So far it doesn't so keep going...but not for too long.

I don't care that it's not at all realistic at this point. You have created tension and a character that we hope can come out of this wiser and ok... I actually liked the suicide angle. I imagined it headed that way because you were writing the back and forth between characters. Glad you saved him. Now I hope he can come out ok. Does his wife have ptsd because her behavior is way off... can he fuck over the shitty bosses.. does he start over or can his wife be saved? At this point there is no living with the status quo so I look forward to the resolution.

Don't change your writing at this point because anonymous responders spew hate. Finish this story and then start the next. Ignore the people who read erotica and look at porn but have the audacity to judge your morality. Glass houses and all. Kinda freaks me out...

where can I get a wife like this?

cuck stories are often filled with gut wrenching tension...what will wife choose to do? this story really pours on the hubby angst.

I saw you mention the story is already complete, they are publishing a chapter at a time, so I wont waste time making plot suggestions.

reading and rereading your work....thanks!

Enough said.

it might as well be for murdering 21 bastards. At least you will be at peace.

Just keep this story line going, and going, and going, forever!!! What else have you got to do? Laptop? check. Chips? check. Soda? check. Government welfare or unemployment check? natch. You're living the dream now, mutha fucka.

Enuf crying already, is he gonaa nut up and place home video and break loose or ehat?? If not post anywhere but LW please

you pretend to be what ? and erotic writer ? haha I can bullshit myself a lot better than you. but one thing is for sure. your fantasy is so fucked up that you really think drug rapes are ok and erotic , destroying people is ok and erotic and everybody should clap there hands as the victims are either dumb, wimps or deserve it !

you really are a hero and I hope you get your treatment. That will be erotic for sure !

So fuck up a story line. Your in jail anyway. Man up. This story sucks .

What is the point of this story? Seriously. It's not hot, even if you are into cuckolding. It's not interesting emotionally. It's just a relentless slog of 'my life sucks, and now here is a way to suck more.'

Get some help man, this is clearly a cry for it.

Please stop writing. Last three chapters have been the same so either finish it off where he goes nuts and kills everybody or start again

I commented on the first chapter of this story saying I’d wait for the finish to score it. I’ve changed my mind. I’m no expert author, but I am a faithful reader of all genres and I can recognize good writing when I see it. As far as the mechanics of the art goes, this is good writing, even if it may have a few mistakes. After all, what can one expect from a new author?

After reading all the comments, as of the time I read the chapters, it became obvious most of the negative ones are based on dislike for the content. I could never live the life depicted in this story either, but that doesn’t mean I can’t read and enjoy the story. Especially since it keeps me, as a wanabe writer, wondering just how the heck ‘you’re gonna get out of this one.’

A question for those who are so vehement against this story—why do you read a story you know up front you won’t like? Surely after you read Ch01 you could tell the type story we have here; to continue the next chapters seems as stupid to me as going to “Books-a Million” and desperately searching the Scfi section looking for a good Thriller. Oh yeah, there you’d have to shell out good money for your selection, while every word you read here is free. THINK ABOUT IT!

Castlemania, please keep writing, you have talent and I’d hate to see you get as discouraged as some others, who have discontinued posting here, seem to have been. BTW I’m giving you a 5 based on your ability to garner so many comments. You see, a dirty little secret, so many boo birds don’t seem to realize, is that the ability to make a reader hate your work and yet still keep reading is a sign of good creative writing.

You are all bring TROLLED.. this is a FAKE STORY ... it was written just to get a rise out of people

For three chapters you led this reader to believe that the protagonist was a cuckinist. You have me wanting to find out if your crying lawyer will grow a pair,.......or at least one.

As I said after the last chapter the story is truly intriguing I am thoroughly enjoying this story I hope the husband exact his revenge at the end but whatever you decide please continue on can't wait to get to the end the way the story is written it sounds like a true story

I was ready to give it the benefit of the doubt, but it's getting more and more outrageous with every paragraph. Sorry. I laughed the last "chapter" AT MYSELF for being drawn in. Ya got me!

I don't usually comment but man you are awesome. pretty interesting plot so far. keep writing. cheers

Aimless plot and unidentifiable characters. There is no one in this story worth liking. The overall actions are unrealistic and "dear john" just sits and takes it all while professing undying love for his whore of a wife.

Stupid sick crap.

There better be some good payback if I keep hanging in here.

The wife's wants outweigh all else!

with afterburners cranking. Honestly, I'm not sure if anyone can level it out before it smashes into the ground. So far, nothing to recommend it, but I suppose it could be setting up for an interesting ending. Or the suck factor going totally off the charts.

If it doesn't turn around soon, and the author did not warn the readers, the fireball will be enormous.

Great posts ive stopped reading from last chapter after your comments and will not resume until i see he has grown a pair and stood up for himself and achieved revenge and justice with this bunch. Not holding my breath though expect him to forgive her and spend his remaining days watching her get her rocks of outside his shabby shitty marriage.

I sense a serious revenge coming on. The nymphomaniac wife can't get her husband interested, and she cannot/will not go back. There's a reckoning coming, I think, I hope. Can't wait to see what happens to the scumbag lawyers.

But I need to find out more about the Literotica policy regarding the literary depiction of exreme violence

The author has finally started to allow his characters to weakly express themselves. There is still to much blubbering incoherence, but better none the less. Hopefully John finds some way to restore his identity,

I cant wait to see how you save this poor guy.

Am surprised he doesnt gun them all down.

is setting a trap where he records them confessing what he and they did in planting evidence on the poor bastard earlier in the story, and going to the authories and blowing their world up, along with his own. Thankfully, after all the shit they put him through earlier, John will be uniquely eqipped to survive it.

The other men, and Stinkerbell, not so much.

Put an end to this junk

Looks like John is going to the next mass shooter story you hear about on the news...

Where is this, they don't have guns, cameras, video recorders, smart phones, just wimps, sluts, and assholes. YUCK. I agree, end this shit.

Is John the only one being had....or anyone that reads this tale of ....

comments being more exciting than the story. Some of the comments are really funny. Every time the guy feels that either he, or his wife, is threatened, he breaks into tears. I have yet to see where he grabs a rock, a stick, even a phone and smacks one of the guys upside the head. They may frame him for fraud or theft, but he has them for kidnapping, unlawful restraint, illegal drug activity and a hundred other things. Yet they still threaten him and he is fearful. Either this will become the greatest turn around in Lit history, or the biggest flame-out since Nero. You cannot take this seriously, but you can marvel how difficult it is to avert your eyes from this slow motion train wreck.

Remember all the Van Damme movies where he gets the living shit kicked out of him for a long time before he finally gets mad and wreaks havoc? Do we have another Jean-Claude in the making?

he should have went ahead and drove both of them off the pier and sunk.

4 *'s

I don't know one single man who would put up with this shit. And, it didn't even end. Not your best work.

Some of you must not have loved that much that when they hen he comes cheat you shut down. It is called a mental breakdown. The husband is going through it. When he comes out the other side he is going to get his revenge. Hopefully itt will be well thought out and sweet.

HardDaysKnight, I agree that the comments for Loving Wives stories are better than the stories in many cases. There's a limit to how many different themes can be displayed in the LW category so after a year or so I became so jaded that I stopped reading the stories and only read the comments.

The comments are entertaining on many LW stories, but especially so on this series. Castlemania could be headed for a record in the level of abuse he has attracted. Not bad for a new author.

Other categories simply don't stir up the same level of hostility. In Romance stories, for example, it is very rare to find a suggestion that the author should commit unspeakable acts upon his or her person. They're just not in the same league.

Lue

I have to agree with HDK. The comments are better than the story. It would be difficult to imagine that not being true. Once in a great while, a story is written that is so offensive, leaves the readers feeling so violated, that their sense of outrage is stirred and a firestorm of comments ensues. This seems to be such a story.

I seldom comment on stories I don’t enjoy. Occasionally a story is so offensive that I break my silence. If a story begins with the drugging and rape of a woman, with no jail sentence or retribution in sight for the criminals, I’m out. I didn’t read beyond the first few paragraphs of the first installment. I skimmed the endings of the next two. If the story then continues to advance the idea that the woman enjoyed the rape, that somehow her “inner slut” was activated and she’s now up for subsequent rounds because she now has been “released,” that becomes so repugnant that a line is crossed. Rape is a violent crime. It is not sexual, it is a crime of violence. The idea that women are somehow empowered and enjoy rape is akin to the ideas of slaveholders that black people enjoyed slavery and were natural slaves. Those who enjoy and defend such ideas forfeit their right to be regarded as human. They can only be isolated from those who are non-sociopaths, to prevent harm to others.

I support the author’s right to compose and post whatever the site will allow. I reserve the right to believe it is vile and repugnant.

HDK is right. The comments are hilarious. Each one funnier than the last. I've favorited the story so I can go back and read the comments.

I remember reading this story. In the end the husband wake up from his sleep.

this is a funny story because someone had to create a whole new account just a couple of days ago to post it. Must be a Hillary supporter because she wants to see the first cuck queen elected president

If the idiots who set him up think that they have all the cards. They are gravelly mistaken. If has nothing to lose. The man may take them out of the equation permanently and be damned the consequences. They may have gotten away with the first time but whose to say ...

If I remember correctly. Coz I have a dejavu feeling reading this shit.

Castlemania is another alias of Swinger Joe. It's another one of those asshole tricks he thinks are so funny where he tries to pull people's chain.

and necessary to a satisfactory conclusion.

Glad you were sharp enough to know that, even though this is a sex-based story, the sex itself is so repugnant that we are not interested in the details.

Randi makes a good point for mainstream literature, but this is PORN. Project your values at your own risk of hypocrisy. Having invoked the slavery diatribe, can the Hitler one be very far behind? Seriously, lighten up. It's either good fantasy or bad--not any more evil than any other.

Most literotica authors are partially ignorant of their subject matter--psychology, physiology, professions they've never worked, weapons, legal matters, drugs, electronics, in some cases even geography and chronology within their own stories. I don't feel like holding this one to a higher standard than all the rest.

Frankly, this chapter encourages me. This is the only direction this story could go in order to earn my continued interest. Hoping you've planned out John's continued evolution as he deals with learning his unrealistic adoration didn't satisfy his fairy.

4* for real this time

Have stuck with it, but do want to see signs this is going somewhere. I assume there is another chapter. You write well, but the topic is a little hard to swallow (maybe not for his wife). You have boxed yourself in, a little, however. The wife has gone so far and hurt him so badly that reconciliation is next to impossible. Retribution/BTB? Perhaps. Life in cuckold hell would be unpopular but would make sense. Whatever you decide to do, good luck with it.

Okay, so this is PORN. It’s just a fantasy. That means you’re okay with writing fantasies about having sex with children, right? It’s porn, so noting is more evil than anything else, right? Two words, asshole, kiddie porn. Lets get some snuff porn and some necrophilia on here. Maybe a little beastiality, right? It’s just a fantasy. None of it is more evil than the other. That’s what you said, right? Lighten up, I mean, seriously. It’s just PORN. What a sophist.

Interesting story but I have a hard time with the context. No rating. XoxoxoAnnette

Lawyers are usually sharks.

This one is being forced into becoming a jellyfish (completely spineless).

But the thing about jellyfish is that they sting really bad.

These authors seem to have some sort of twisted competition going on, "my wife character is a more evil psycho than yours" The woman here is just a repulsive parasite, the husband needs to do some serious vermin eradication.