All Comments on 'What the Hell's Happening Ch. 14: The End?'

Really you used the "I woke up" ending !!!!! I noticed the last few chapters got away from you, dropped characters and hammering the plot to say what you want instead of actually writing continuity.

I don't know who your editor is or if you have one. But either way you need a good one to point out issues with stories before you post.

thanks

Well you certainly staggered across the line. Let that be a lesson to you. This stuff has a very limited shelf life.

You dragged this garbage out far too long, don't chop and change categories either, stick to one! Knowing now that you will most likely drag out your future 'writing' I won't be reading anything by you again. This ending also feels like you've read what the majority were saying in comments and changed it to 'he woke up' it was all a dream bullshit to try and pacify the readers.

what is the point of getting married if your not even going to respect each other on the damn wedding day. There is a huge difference in life between fantasy and reality , I think u both need therapy and help from a priest, you have no idea how to have real trust and respect in a kink

It was a pirouette into the dumpster.

You have some writing ability, but you need to come up with a plot that isn't moronic. Good luck.

...This final chapter is junk! So he woke up and instead of speaking out what he wanted or what he ment he just accepter her explanation: You actually dare call that piece of shit "a man"? Better ending would have been an extended suicide or a nice little divorce and burning her to cinders. You have lost it, man. Absolutely! Seems that only a cuckold can write about cuckolds and try to make it seem a bearable condition.

not worth it but 1*

Is it a story? Or a story of a story? Or a story of a story of a story?

Doesn't matter. It's a Cuckold's Choice: you think you get to choose, but all the options lead to the same conclusion, because your skanky woman plans on playing you until the day comes that you realize you really can have better.

And if Rebecca really is the Catholic sweetie who plans on giving her virginity to the best man, consider this: Kevin's abstinence is the reason he has developed this relationship with his hand and fantasy world about you. Remember the line about "shoving a fork so far down your throat"? THAT is the true Kevin. The rest of the time he has had to play nice because he has so much invested in you.

Early in our marriage, my wife (virgin on wedding night, me the husband with sharing fantasies) thought I was pushing her toward an older male friend of ours. I told her it sure was good she didn't act on those thoughts, because if she had I would have killed. Him. With. My. Bare. Hands. So she would have had a dead lover, husband in prison and 2 small kids to provide for.

Just because a guy sometimes feels impotent in his choices in life doesn't mean he craves impotence. Stop taking advantage of his tolerance for YOUR hang ups. He has waited for you. So you're mad that he has only cheated with his hand?

Kept hoping for something for Kev to get some balls, but they seem in short supply on your side of the pond. You either grew tired of this and rushed the ending or just took the easy way out with the dream, then subsequent ending, then epilogue ending. Been done before and never that well.

You write well, just pick some topics people can actually relate to and I think you will find more resonance with your audience.

Because it makes no sense. I'm not sure if you intentionally wrote this chapter because you had nowhere to go or you just got bored and said "Fuck it"

Whatever the case, do us all a favour and don't write anything, not a story, not a poem, not a limerick, hell, you can't even be trusted with a shopping list. You are clearly a gold medal contender for crappiest writer in Literotica, so wear your badge with pride and please retire.

Just wow ! .... I mean how the fuck did you manage to put in all that work to write 14 chapters and not quite pick up on the simple fact that well .... It wasn't very good.

I've got nothing against cuck stories per se .... They have their place. But I do have something against poorly written, badly constructed narratives that obviously have never seen the light of any competent editing.

This reminded me of a story written by someone for who English is not a first language but I don't think that's the case with you is it? If it is you have an excuse if it isn't well it's just embarrassing for you.

All that time wasted writing when a few extra days of editing could have provided a passable result. WOW !

Enough said...

....cream their panties over the idea of cuckolding their men.

I think this story must have been written by a man with the fantasy that his girl should want another man, because he's simply not enough man for any woman.

Give me at 011 Waterburton 65677 and we'll fulfill your fantasy 4-5 times a night over the next 30 years.....that is, if I find her attractive enough to take from from you.

But I don't want you to raise my babies with her. Just keep the house up....and stay out of the way.

each successive chapter was worse....

i hate wimpy cukolds and foolishly hoped

that this one would grow a set of balls.

I did not bother to read any of this one. Just noticed the "final" and I'm hoping it really is. There has been nothing loving, sensual or caring in any of your stories. If you believe there was, you are really sick. I know it takes a lot of time to write and post these stories. You should use that time instead of writing to get help; seriously.

She said: "I was told by mommy that a good godly girl should always honor and obey her husband and follow his lead in all things pertaining to their marriage." Then some questions that the this final arouse: 1st - If his fantasy was to have a tender wife that was a serial killer...would she follow her mother's advice? 2nd - If his fantasy was that his wife was "Falcon woman" that could fly, would she follow her mother's advice, and go to a precipice and try to fly? 3rd - If his fantasy was for his wife to be the new "Bonnie", would she follow her mother's advice and begin to rob banks? I don't think so...so this whole story and even more it's final it's a total loss of time...1*

Can't believe you ended this the way you did. Wondering if this is going to end up as one of the LOWEST rated story endings. The writing was so so. The content and ending wasn't even close. Still a 1* for the whole series.

# 1

try again, but this time give the man some balls

well done man. the cucky feelings got me at first and i didnt think i liked the story . but like a fantasy wanna be cuck i loved it in the end. u are a great writer. but what if she left him for her new lover?. no way would i risk that. i would never let my wife go with another man!!!

Disgusting

A good wife with a cuckold husband would have been more caring.for her husband.

She would never let the lover dictate when he gets sexual pleasure. That is something between them. If she wants a slave then that is different.

Is that, even for fiction, I can't imagine anyone that stupid. I mean really. A complete and utter fool would have seen through her. When you make characters in your story so stupid that it can't be believed then the story becomes worthless. A complete waste of time to read with implausible characters doing ridiculous things. Badly done.

1 star for complete and utter drivel.

But pretty sick. I think he should have finally cracked and shot her lover and her, several times while they were in the middle of orgasm and killed them relatively slowly. His fate was sealed long before he finally flipped.

5*s for the effort. 2*s for the story.

next2archStanton

Dear Sir/Madam

Thank you for adding your own piece of excreta based on the overused cuckold wimp husband theme. Thank you also for creating characters that have no redeeming features whatsoever. Thank you also for your completely disjointed plot. I know it's a case of different strokes for different folks but what you have written could almost be taken as a satirical piece covering cuckolding taken to its ridiculous heights. However, unfortunately I do not think that that was your intention. I believe that you believe that you are a writer of merit. If so you are woefully deluding yourself. Hundreds of other LW writers using cuckolding as a theme have managed to contribute far superior tales that are lightyears from your multipart excursion into how not to write a piece of true erotica for adult readers. I can imagine you hunched over your keyboard caught between typing the next puerile paragraph and jacking yourself off. What a sad, sad image. I truly hope you got something out of the exercise. Take a tip, don't give up your daytime job anytime soon.

Fucking bullshit!

Thank you, for not writing anymore. I hope you got help.

NEVER write again. This ending put the story straight into fetish and was SO bad that it made me laugh. Truly one of the worst stories on this site.

Just to say the story is terrible.

Parts of this story weren't badly written. Other parts, like this ending, seemed like another author was writing the story. The conclusion seems to be written to inflame and enrage the readers. Congrats - you succeeded and got bombed. Not sure what your point was, but it certainly ruined any chance the story had of being even a decent read. You managed to ruin it completely. Awful writing.

1 star

Vile

This story series is the most fucked up shit I've ever read. 1 star for every chapter. I kept reading it in the hopes that Kevin would btb, but I guess thats not your thing. At least now I know to never read any of your drivel again. BTW, this is the first time I have ever commented negatively to any author. Its a special honor for you.

Pathetic author pathetic ending as like loser wimp. Don't have a dick Don't have a guts. Act like real loser otherwise kids will throwing to you split

Sorry my mentally ill chump but like any "writer" who fixates on something and requires 14 chapters to get it out of his system has serious issues that need looking into and you do.

Not to mention the story was ridiculously bad, badly written...hell i could wrote 14 chapters of how bad this actually was and it would be a better read.

This was the best sleep I've ever had 🥱😴

fuck no 1*

Yuk!