All Comments on 'When Four Make a Couple'

With two mostly inexperienced hetero couples and a whole weekend, there should have been at least 2 fertile women starting babies in their bellies from failure to control themselves. A bit of disappointment!

You have the start of a good story here, but need to fill it out a bit. What you have is closer to a "plot outline" than a story. Whether mainstream or "adult," a piece of fiction depends upon detail to build up the image in the readers' minds. Instead of saying, "She sucked his cock," say something like, "His cock was blah blah. . . it felt so blah blah. . . as gently blah blah caressed her blah blah she reached up and touched it, he blah blah." Since it's a short story, descriptions can be shortened but not eliminated. This not only includes the characters, but the setting, the actions, their thoughts, etc.