All Comments on 'When I Come Around'

Hi. Great start, could you write more? "The End", does not due any of your character's or story justice. They deserve better....

Great characters, basically wasted in such a short story.

Although the encounter at the beginning is unclear. The man left her a phone and she willingly started a hypnotizing app? She should be too clever to do that.

Would you please quit with the lack of a climax!!!!!!

I, for one, love the ambiguity here. The allusions to the previous relationship and the protagonist's regrets added a level of depth that I really enjoyed, and at least in this case, the (very hot, in my opinion) scenes of submission were secondary to the rest of the story. Nice work, as usual!

Jukebox has repeatedly said that they do not continue stories due to not having anything to write farther than, "they have more sex."

Seems to be a discussion here on the potential/need for.more with these characters..

Imho, this is a common thread for a lot of stories, both erotic and regular. The truth is that you probably could expand on the universe. And thats the mark of a good writing. A good story hints at events that make up the history of that universe and also the future. Idealy the timeline feels realistic in both directions. And if that is the case, then there is usually room for.more stories to.be told.

But then, if you tell those stories right, inevitably theres room for even further expansion. more timeline. Prequels, sequels, and where does it end? I think its possible for a story to.be good, and have potential for more, but nonetheless be left alone. I think theres a good lesson in that for writers about focusing and not getting careied away with your ideas

...but if you should ever find yourself inspired to write a second part to this, I would love to read it. Either way, this is a magnificent story; thank you for sharing it.