When Marriage Cools: Arlene

"OK, Arlene, but keep in close touch, particularly if your cohorts at that seminar try to contact you. And one more thing... if you are served with divorce papers, refuse to sign them. That may smoke out your husband... I'll send someone over in the morning to put a tap on your telephone."

He left and took the folder of pictures. I was impressed, Harry was very thorough and seemed to have a lot of connections. I hoped he would be my friend. God, I needed one now.

I met with the ADA, Alexis Gordon, the next day. I was expecting some man hating dyke, but she was the complete opposite, a married caring mother of three. She wanted to know my story and I told her everything, even about Harry.

She smiled. "I was very fond of Harry at one time. We were planning on getting married."

"What happened?"

"Much like you, I got ambitious and we drifted apart." She still had the smile on her face, staring off into space, remembering.

She snapped back. "I'll let Harry get the dope on those guys before we make a move. If they try to contact you, act scared and vulnerable. It'll make Harry's job a lot easier if they don't suspect they are being investigated."

Late that afternoon, I was served with the divorce application, presigned by Rob. His lawyer had power of attorney to execute the divorce in Rob's absence.

The following Monday evening, I received a call from Mike, "Well bitch, glad you're home, we really liked that tight cunt of yours. I guess your wimp husband wasn't getting much of it."

"Why... why did you send my husband those pictures?"

"It didn't look like you would cooperate in my little scheme, so I figured I'd try to get rid of the wimp. Guess it worked, huh? Hey, if you let me come over, I'll bring your purse and give that pussy of yours a little fun."

I couldn't stand to hear that snake's voice another second, I hung up. A few seconds later he called again.

"Don't hang up on me again, bitch. I've got a client who wants to fuck your tight asshole this coming weekend. You'd better do it or those pictures will be spread all over town and the internet too. Do I make myself clear?"

I wondered if Harry might make use of that liaison. I decided to stall.

"I... I don't think I can do that..." but to make it sound like I was still in the hunt, I asked, "If I do this, will I still get my promotion as promised?"

"Guaranteed, my little whore, and at twice the salary you are now making. I'll come over and have my cock explain it to you."

"No, my sister-in-law is here." I lied, "Call me back on Thursday with the details." I hung up again, then called Harry on my cell phone.

"Good girl, we're close to nailing the bastard. Keep stringing him along but don't agree to meet him. I have a couple of bits of news for you. Your blood sample showed traces of rohypnol, special K, and extacy... and we've also managed to get signed affidavits from two divorced women who were previously used as company whores.

"Also, your cohort, Anne, has gone missing but rest assured, we'll track her down... Those guys will be clinking their tin cups on the bars of the county jail before the end of the week."

--

To make a long story short, both Mike and Dave were charged with using company whores in the business. Both made bail and tried to run. They didn't get far; this time, no bail. The charges involving me were not yet made, evidence was still being collected.

A week later, I missed my period. My worst fears were realized, my doctor confirmed my pregnancy.

My life with Rob was over. I signed the divorce papers and quit trying to find him. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do, knowing I'd lost the most precious thing in my life.

The divorce for 'irreconcilable differences' left me with the house and both cars as well as half our cash and investments, a settlement far more than I deserved.

My charges were finally brought against those two men. It was a long, very high profile trial, making headlines all across the country. Dave was the weaker of the two and finally, in return for a promise of a reduced sentence, he sang. Apparently, there were at least two other men involved in my rape but were out-of-town business men and they couldn't recall their names. Their faces weren't shown in any of the pictures.

Alexis prosecuted the case personally. Mike got twenty years and Dave got fifteen.

--

Rob's mother, Martha, and his sister Mary were solidly behind me. I'm not sure I could have made it without their support. I was ashamed that I never got to know them better before it all happened, but there was never enough time. I was always too busy.

With the help of my lawyer, I successfully sued my former company. My former boss pleaded ignorance but that was no excuse. He didn't believe that Mike and Dave were involved in a sex ring until we confronted him with Anne, who was also coerced at that seminar. The final clincher came when the evidence showed that Dave and Mike's DNA matched the semen found inside me. He capitulated and we settled out of court for one mil.

After a lot of soul searching, I made the decision to keep the baby. After all, it wasn't the little tyke's fault it had been dealt that hand. I couldn't kill it, it was part of me now.

Four months later, a large part of my ordeal was over, the trial was history and my divorce was final.

Those photographs were returned to me. Night after night, I sat and looked at them. I couldn't believe the look of lust on my face. What must Rob have thought? It would have destroyed him, to see the woman he loved being used over and over again. After a week of tearful self recrimination, I burned them.

I rattled around our big house all by myself, constantly thinking of Rob, going through all the scenarios, all of the 'what ifs'. I kept praying I would hear from him, he could hardly have missed those newspaper headlines... I was lonely and friendless. Mary gave me some of her time but she had her own family and I felt guilty taking her away from them.

On the other hand, Rob's mother lived alone and was more than happy to spend her days with me. I got to like Martha a lot, even calling her 'mom' after awhile. Since we were together so much, I approached her to come and live with me. She accepted.

Life went on. I looked after myself, hiring a maid to do the housework and a contractor to do the yard work. More of our backyard was landscaped and I spent my free time planting flowers and shrubs. A swing set and a toddler's slide were also added. My pregnancy went smoothly. Martha spent a lot of time coaching me on prenatal and baby care. She was a godsend, we became very close.

When my baby boy was born, he had a darker complexion than either of those men. The DNA tests did not match either Mike or Dave and I wondered how many other men had used me that night. I couldn't remember any faces, only vague recollections of their hands mauling me and their cocks in me.

I named him Robert. That may have been perverse but Rob was the only man I'd ever loved and I wanted to fantasize Robbie was truly ours.

Much more difficult, was the decision to breast feed. Somehow it seemed alien to have someone else's baby with his mouth on my nipples. But I quickly got over it, he was such a hungry little guy. Other than my loss of Rob, the three of us were quite happy together. Martha adored the baby, holding and rocking him for hours. After he was weaned, I decided to try to return to the workplace. My life was going nowhere and I needed something to fill the void.

I reverted to my maiden name. My CV included a copy of my graduation diploma as a marketing major since that diploma was earned when I was still single. However, it did not contain any relevant experience. For the missing time, I put down some bullshit about traveling abroad for five years.

My blonde hair was now dyed brown and cut very short. I wore glasses and no makeup and dressed down, trying to hide my true identity. I did manage to find an entry level job in marketing.

--

Another two years passed.

I received news that Mike and Dave died in prison. Apparently one of the inmates was married to a woman they used as a company whore. They both got the colon treatment with a broom handle. Despite many operations to try to repair them, they both died a slow painful death... It was horrific but I felt nothing at all for them.

For myself, it didn't take long for my talents in marketing to be recognized. There were chances for promotion but my ambition was gone. Besides, I didn't want to risk being identified. Instead, I kept a low profile and encouraged others to take credit for my ideas. I avoided as many public meetings and social gatherings as possible.

My boss knew my true identity but never mentioned it to anyone. Even though I took no credit for my ideas, he knew where they were coming from and kept increasing my salary.

Mary and her husband Frank became very close friends, too close at times. They were constantly trying to line me up with blind dates but I wasn't interested. After my rape, the feel of another man's hands on me was too repugnant.

However, Alex was one male coworker whose company I enjoyed very much. I made it very plain early in our relationship that I wanted no intimacy. That wasn't a problem for him, his wife had left him for another man and he still loved her very much. So in that respect, we became soul mates. We dated once or twice a month; dining, going to concerts and the like. His patience and gentleness reminded me so much of Rob. God, how I wished Rob and I had done more of those things together.

Neither myself nor anyone else heard of Rob's whereabouts in those three years.

Alex asked me to marry him but I wasn't ready. I valued his friendship greatly but couldn't be intimate with another man while Rob was constantly in my thoughts. Maybe there would come a time when Rob's memory would fade...

Robbie was into his 'terrible twos' when Martha's health began to fail. After much pleading, I got her into a clinic for an examination. She was diagnosed with adult onset leukemia. While the disease could be arrested by blood transfusions, there must have been something more because she began to fail very quickly. Her doctor gave her only weeks to live. I was devastated, she had become so much a part of our lives, both mine and Robbie's.

Rob's attorney was informed of her condition and told it was imperative that Rob return ASAP if he ever intended to see his mother alive again. He said he would try to contact him...

***********

ROBERT

When I received those photographs of Arlene and her playmates, it almost killed me. It was as if she had reached into my chest and ripped my heart out, stomped on it, then shoved it back into my cold body. Her obvious passion seemed to leap right out of those pictures, like she was truly enjoying her lovers.

Was she coerced or drugged? No... not from the obvious lust showing on her face. But why the pictures? Why rub my nose in it? ... Did she really believe I was having an affair with my boss? I never dreamed our marriage could end in such a horrific nightmare. When I threatened her with divorce, I was only trying to give her a wakeup call. Now I realized it may have had the opposite effect.

After no sleep that night, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. No, I didn't want revenge, why would I? I didn't have a wife anymore. Even if it had been her first time, her lack of attention to me in the past year only confirmed what I already knew, her job was more important than our marriage. I was devastated and just wanted to get away as far as possible.

My lawyer drew up the divorce papers and I signed them. I gave him power of attorney to execute the divorce in my absence. After pulling some money out of our investments, I was on my way to Argentina, hopping from one mode of transportation to another, trying to cover my tracks.

I got a job with a French manufacturer of communications gear and since I had a good grounding in French, it didn't take long to become fluent in Spanish too.

--

Time went by. I thought forgetting Arlene would be easy but it wasn't true. Maybe I dwelt too much on our early marriage rather than on what it had become but I kept seeing her beautiful face in every pretty young woman I met. And yes, I took a few of them to my bed too. I was trying to convince myself that I no longer loved Arlene... but it wasn't working. My worst nightmare was remembering those pictures. The pain was so intense, it seemed like it had happened only yesterday.

There were so many times when I was lying alone in bed that I wished I would have done things differently. I should have confronted her before I ran. It probably wouldn't have changed anything but at least I might have found some closure. I kept thinking of that last morning when she held me and professed her love for me. It sounded so genuine.

I wanted to go back so many times to hear her side of the story, even making flight reservations a few times. But in the light of day, I always cancelled them.

The years passed. Arlene was a very attractive woman and would have no shortage of suitors. She had probably remarried by now, maybe even had children. Still, my life was a mess. I knew I would have to talk to her some day, not over the telephone, but face to face.

I was still vacillating when fate stepped in. My attorney contacted me through my anonymous Email account and informed me that my mother was dying. I called my sister Mary and told her when I would be arriving. She met me at the airport and after a few hugs and kisses, we drove into the city.

"Could you take me to my hotel, Mary? I need to clean up."

"No, Arlene asked me to bring you home. She is with your mother at the hospital and won't be back for hours."

"Mary, I..."

"No arguments, Rob, her son needs to be looked after. The caregiver has to leave and I need to get home."

"Her son?" I recoiled in shock.

"Yes, don't you know anything about what happened?"

"I've been out of the country." I didn't tell her where because I had planned on returning.

We arrived at the house and I deposited my luggage in the spare bedroom. It was after 8PM and Arlene's child was in bed. When we came downstairs, Mary handed me a dossier of transcripts and newspaper clippings.

"Here, get caught up on your ex," she said before leaving to drive the caregiver home. It was clear she was pissed with me. Arlene wouldn't be back for another few hours so I sat down and read. I learned a lot about the trial, the drugs, rape, beating, the documentation of her suit against her former employer. Those docs conveyed volumes about her strength and fortitude but said nothing of her feelings.

I wandered around the house. Things looked so much the same, as if she kept them that way intentionally. Even our pictures were still prominently displayed. When I opened her bedroom closet, I inhaled the aroma of her body from her clothing. All the memories of our marriage came flooding back. I rummaged through her dresser drawers and discovered what I never hoped to find, her diary. My eyes were moist when I read of her innermost feelings. Tears and pain jumped out of every page.

When Arlene came in, I almost fainted. Except for her changed hair and glasses, she looked exactly the same as the last time I'd seen her. We stood for a long time, unspeaking, just looking at one another. Then I pulled her into my chest and held her. We sat down in the den next to each other, my arm around her, never again wanting to let go. We talked for hours, most of the time with tears in our eyes. I wanted to know everything...

--

In the morning, she introduced me to Robbie, her son. I was a bit shocked to see his darker complexion but quickly tried to hide my feelings, assuming he had been the product of her rape. After breakfast, Arlene had to go to work but promised to return by noon so we could go to the hospital together. I had Robbie to myself all morning.

He was a happy tyke and loved to run so I spent most of the morning chasing him around our back lawn. We kicked a ball back and forth and rolled around on the grass, laughing and giggling. Arlene had returned and was standing on the rear deck, watching us play, smiling at our antics. After lunch, the caregiver arrived and we put Robbie down for his afternoon nap, then left for the hospital to visit my mother.

She looked very thin and after a long hug, she spoke, "Don't worry, Rob, I'm feeling much better, I'll be up and around soon..." I knew that was a lie.

"Of course, mom, you're made of some very tough stuff," I couldn't hide my tears.

After half an hour of bringing mom up to date about myself, Arlene went down to the cafeteria to fetch us all some tea. My mother used that interlude to talk to me about Arlene.

"She loves you very much, Rob, you must try to make up with her, to forgive her for what happened. She needs you desperately. When I go, she'll be all alone again and I couldn't bear to have that happen. You must promise me you will be there for her..."

"I'll try, mother, honest I will." What else could I say? It was a deathbed promise but my words sounded hollow. How could we get back together after what happened?

"You need to spend a lot more time with her. Don't come to see me too often, I sleep most of the time anyway."

Arlene returned with the tea and we all tried to have a cheerful conversation.

That evening, the three of us went out for pizza. Robbie destroyed as much of his portion as he ate. After putting him down for the evening, we sat across from each other in the den. It was time...

"Arlene, I want to see if we can get back together," I blurted out.

Her head went down between her knees and she sobbed.

"How could you? You saw those pictures. How could you kiss the mouth that had those cocks in it. How could we make love when you saw those cocks in my asshole and in my whoring cunt... How could you ever forgive me when you see the product of my infidelity every day..."

"You were drugged and raped, Arlene..."

"Yes, that's what I keep telling myself. But what did I feel when it was happening? You know I enjoyed it... you saw my face in those pictures." She was telling me what I'd have to face every day for the rest of my life, the brutal reality of what she had done, the horror of those images. She got up and ran to her bedroom, crying.

She was right, would I ever be able to get past it? Maybe... There was only one way to answer that question. We would have to try to make love, to see if we could be intimate again. And I also needed to check on something else...

Less than a week later, my mother died. I swear Arlene took it much harder than I did. Afterwards, she became more nervous and distant.

It was on a Saturday morning, a week after the funeral when I confronted her.

"Arlene, please sit down, we need to talk..."

She looked at me with fear in her eyes.

"Rob, I'm so sorry for avoiding you. I just can't..."

"Shhh... listen please, I need to tell you something about that night before you went to the seminar...

"If you remember, you passed out that night at the party. When I undressed you and put you to bed, I couldn't resist your body. There had been a few other times I made love to you when you were tipsy but you always awoke when I penetrated you... that night you barely responded. And in the morning, you seemed to have forgotten all about it.

"I intended to tell you about it but we got into that argument...

"Two weeks ago, I took mouth swabs of Robbie and myself... Arlene, I know this may be hard to believe but the DNA tests show Robbie is mine."

"NOOOOO... that can't be... his skin..."

"Recessive gene, my grandmother was Spanish," I handed her the results of the DNA tests.

"Oh, sweet Jesus," her eyes filled with tears, "there IS a God."