All Comments on 'White Bread'

I didn't like it, sorry. I didn't think it was that realistic, and the sexiest part is how the characters undress themselves, and you left that out.

I liked the story. Simplistic realism. New York is where things like this take place without much fuss. Good vocabulary usage. Keep writing! I like your objective style; most people write anecdotal stories but this was more like an observation handled objectively as opposed to subjectively. I think it gives the story a different flavor allowing the reader to use his/her imagination to continue in the same or other directions.

"I think I love you?" To someone she just met within the last hour? Oh, brother. What little realism about this story went completely out the window with that silly line.

Interesting premise and characters, but their insta=relationship is silly. Instead of examining a struggle with race/class/cultural differences to create a relationship, it's all tossed aside to get them instantly into bed during which all differences between are just ignored. They just become "generic lesbian couple." Boring. A total missed opportunity.

Where is the next part? Did she go back to Africa with her new friend? That would be hot, hot, hot.