All Comments on 'Who Will Cassidy Belong To Ch. 01'

This is a great story. Hope you develop it further.

I love this story, can't wait till the next part!

One thing I can't figure out though. It is something I have observed frequently in Were stories. In pack theory there is, as far as I know, only one omega. He is the 'anti-alpha' so to speak and has to ability to lead the pack, but is at odds with the alpha, but still part of the pack. The normal 'foot soldiers' are the gammas. Also in a pack there is only one beta.

Of course the terminology is yours to decide, but I find it interesting to find the terminology from pack theory used in exactly this way in almost every story with weres.

more more more. you work is great

to your first non-human story. That Cassidy is part were and human from her parents and part vamp from her mothers attack is so clever. And you packed so much into this first chapter that I am eager to read more. So please keep the story coming!

from what ive seen kolrin this is the more popular pack structure for were stories, never seen a single one with the omega being the " anti alpha"

I've read loadsof were stories and NONE of them as far as i've seen has got anyone called an Anti-Alpha!

Where did you get that from?

p.s. LadyAurora, this is the beginning to a fabulous story, keep going!!

k_k

As a lover of this type of story I was intrigued by your idea. On reading it initialy I found it enjoyable but felt it lacked something. It has the makings of a great story or even novel but it does need work, the characters, the backgrounds and the plot all need fleshing out. In parts the use of language needed altering. The use of " I " was over done and an alternative word would have made it flow easier. Yes I understand it is only a first chapter and you need to make the reader want more but by omitting somethings and adding others the tension can be built in a much better way.

I would however love to read more, the potential is huge.

The orphaned hybrid is a good concept but you're rushing the story. Take it slow, add some depth, and your story will be fantastic.

It's great keep writing!

I love this new story and look forward to more. I love the complicated background of Cassidy. I wonder what drinking from Lucius did to her. I hope she tells Griffin what happened with him. Have her feel badly or like she wasn't loyal. I do think you need to have her deal with her dad's death. She is acting like it didn't happen. This man who was her whole world until 48 hours ago is gone. He taught her everything she knows. Was her mom her dad's true mate despite him being human? I look forward to them becoming closer. I bet Lucius wants her b/c her kids would be a wierd hybrid..I wonder if they'd be stronger than she is with him as their father. I hope you'll let Griffin and her spend time together to get to know one another. Does Griffin know lucius? Are the wolves familiar with the vamps?

Keep writing!

good story so far but it is missing somthing please write more i am a fan of stories like this

I am sorry, but I have misplaced my notes so it may take me some time to write chapter 2. My roommate has moved out and things are a bit cluttered.

Please keep writing!

Chapter 2 will be posted just as soon as I can write it!!!! Hopefully chapter 2 will be better than chapter 1!! Thank you all for your advice. I will be sure to read it over again before starting chapter 2.

really good, keep it coming!!

I don't read much, but I am fascinated by your story, and all the others at this site..

I love how Porscha gets her butt kicked. lol