All Comments on 'Whole New Slave Game Ch. 12'

and followed them with much attention this far. But, in my opinion there is now a renewal needed. A whole new setting or some mayor new actors. At least a pause for Laurel. She deserves a little peace and rest home with her kids.

I'm happy I got through with your cloak and dagger story. It gave me some headache in the beginning but I was quite rewarding at the end.

You seem to have lost your style and your talent:

2 stars only, as far as I am concerned

This chapter has the usual problem of an auctorial narator - it is almost impossible to create a story where the narrator dies.

This story demonstrates one possible solution, a changeover to an omniscient narrator demanding consequently the removal of the narrator from the story.

The cliff-hanger might have worked better with Laurel being allowed by her captors to write a letter to her family outside the workshop, followed by the chapter break.

Anyway, it was nice to see how Laurel, who came in this situation as we say in German "wie die Jungfrau zum Kinde" handled and coped with this mess.

Not as good previous chapters of the BLC series for said stylistic reasons, but still an excellent chapter.

Sometimes as an author you have to risk some things, that's waht makes texts interesting.