Whorehouse Chapel

"Although our engagements are important and unexpected," I said, "the original purpose of today was to get ideas about the future use of this building. Obviously this chapel will be retained, but what do I," I stopped myself. "No, WE, do with the rest of the site?"

There were a few diffident suggestions such as turning the chapel into a community hall, building houses behind the chapel, or making flats out of the 1920s structures.

Then Tom said something:

"Why don't you learn from the Courtaulds work at Eltham Palace, Geoff? You could use the chapel for entertaining. But you and Nicola will need a family home. Why not here?"

"Why not?" Nicola added. "This building has had a sad past. I'd like to see it as a happy place. It will always mean a lot to Tamara and me."

The planning officers were dubious. They knew about Eltham Palace but weren't sure that the local councillors in the 21st Century would support such a radical transformation.

Their concerns irritated me. I thought Tom's suggestion was a good one. Of course it would be difficult to sell to the local councillors, but so would any proposal that wasn't boringly conventional.

Tom's suggestion sparked an interesting debate. Even Alan the architect was shocked but gradually there was a consensus that the idea was worth investigating.

Nicola whispered in my ear.

"Geoff, I like the idea of using the chapel as a room for entertaining. Why not hold our wedding reception here - on Halloween?"

"Halloween? But the chapel is haunted. Wouldn't that be asking for trouble?" I whispered back.

"They are supposed to be friendly ghosts, Geoff. Perhaps they'd like it."

"You're sure, Nicola?"

"Yes, Geoff. Tom and Tamara could share the reception too. Ask them."

We managed to separate Tom and Tamara from the crowd. Nicola made her suggestion. Tamara was enthusiastic. Tom had mild reservations, like me, but we couldn't argue with our new fiancées. Nicola wanted us to make it a costume party and re-create the monks and nuns.

That idea brought all five women together in a huddle because party planning is important. Tom and I started discussing how a miniature Eltham Palace might work. We involved Alan and Mike. Within a few minutes we had separated into different groups.

Nicola had produced a writing pad from her handbag and was frantically scribbling ideas for the Halloween and Wedding Reception.

I found some paper. I made a sketch of the site but Alan wasn't happy with my draughtsmanship skills. He made a better plan, outlining the older buildings that we wanted to keep.

By the time the event was over, I had enough ideas for Alan to consider an outline planning application to demolish the 1920s structures and build a five bedroom family house. Nicola and the women had agreed to meet again soon to discuss how they could stage the party.

-o-

By a week before Halloween Alan had submitted the planning application. The public consultation period had produced support and surprisingly no public objections. It might even be approved by the Council's officers without the need to refer to the Planning Committee. The Councillors would have to be consulted when we converted the outline into a defined structure, but we could start demolishing before then - if we got approval from the officers.

Nicola and Tamara were meeting frequently. Apart from the party, they had agreed to have a joint wedding. We four had decided on a quiet Church wedding. The organisation for the reception seemed much more elaborate than for the wedding. The reception would be very small at just ten people. The two Brides and Grooms would be joined by the other three women who had been in the former brothel, and their three builder husbands. Mike and Alan had been invited but declined. Both would be involved with Halloween activities for their grandchildren.

The five women cluttered one of the rooms in Tom's large house with their sewing. Apparently the wedding and bridesmaids dresses, from local charity shops, only needed simple alterations. The costumes for the Halloween reception had to be made from lengths of material.

Why? Those coming to the Halloween reception would be just ten. The men would be Tom, me, and the three builder husbands. The women would be Nicola, Tamara, Anja, Dvina, and Sanja, two brides and three bridesmaids.

We didn't have electricity in the chapel apart from the long extension leads used by the builders. Putting electric light into the chapel without damaging the fabric would require detailed permission from the conservation experts. That would take months, if it was possible. Nicola asked me to find some battery-run candles for the candle holders, as many as possible. I found twenty. They should give us enough light for most things.

I knew that the three builders had been asked to reproduce the chapel fittings as described by the Commissioners. I didn't ask questions, just paid Mike's bills from time to time.

Nicola, Alan and I had spent many hours trying to produce an acceptable design for our house. Our real problem was that until the 1920s additions had been removed we wouldn't know what ancient buildings would be left. Whatever we designed would have to fit around the original buildings. Eventually we agreed what Nicola and I wanted but not how our requirements would work as a building.

A week before our wedding Nicola asked me to take her to the chapel after dark. She wanted to see whether the battery operated lighting would be enough, and to check how well we had reproduced the chapel's layout compared with the Commissioners sketch.

I was still nervous about going to a haunted chapel after dark but if Nicola was with me I hoped the ghosts would leave me alone. I collected her at six o'clock. I had to park about one hundred yards away, reminding me that I need to get parking on the site.

Mike had laid temporary wiring from the mains supply in the former reception area. The route to and from the chapel was lit by fittings temporarily attached to the ceiling. Most of the power on the rest site was provided by cables snaking across the floor. None of the wedding party would go anywhere near those cables.

Inside the chapel I switched on my small torch to find the first two battery powered candles. As my hand reached out for the switch another hand caught my wrist. I was about to ask Nicola what she was playing at.

My mouth was covered with a thick cloth. I heard Nicola gasp and then as sound of her struggling. I was struggling too but my arms were tightly held.

"Welcome, Geoff, and Nicola," a female voice said, echoing in the chapel. "We had hoped you would come together with no one else."

"Don't worry," another female voice said. "You're in no danger from us. We want to thank you for retrieving our chapel and we want to show you that the recorded history is false."

"Sister Helen, please can we have some light?" That was the first voice again.

We heard the clicking of a tinder box, saw a taper being lit, and then taken to candles mounted around the walls of the chapel. As more on more were lit we could see that Nicola was held by three women dressed as nuns. A cloth was being held against Nicola's mouth. I was held by four nuns, one standing behind me hold my gag in place. Two more nuns were standing by the altar.

"Geoff, Nicola. We don't want to restrain you." I was the first voice again. She was behind me holding my gag. "Although you can't leave because the chapel door is locked, we will let you go after you have listened to us. You might find our tale amusing. If you are really frightened, just tell us and you can leave. But I don't think you will want to."

She flipped the gag away from my mouth. Nicola's gag was also taken away.

"Shall we sit down?" She pointed at a table, my table, with twelve chairs around it.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm the Abbess. Abbess Mary, head of this religious establishment. Or perhaps I should say 'I WAS Abbess Mary, head of what was apparently a religious house'."

"I wish I could say 'I'm pleased to meet you, Abbess Mary', but your appearance is unexpected and slightly worrying."

"Very worrying," Nicola added.

"I'm sorry, but if you'll let me explain, you shouldn't be alarmed. Please sit. Why not? It's your table, your chairs, and we are now tenants in your property, Geoff. Sit?"

We sat down. Nicola's hand held mine. Abbess Mary sat opposite us with five other nuns. There were two nuns either side of Nicola and me. Although they were ghosts they seemed solid enough, and smiling at us.

"I did say this was a religious establishment," Abbess Mary started. "It wasn't in our time. It HAD been one until my father bought it from the monastic order who had built it. They were French and had closed it down because of friction between the English and French. I..." She paused.

"I was a fallen woman. I was pregnant but my intended had been killed fighting the French. My father bought this place as a retreat for my shame. He could say I had become a nun. The other ladies who joined me here were in similar difficulties so all ten of us were due to produce bastards. We did. We set up a nursery and then a school in the buildings, including local children with our own."

"But we still wanted sex..." A nun beside Abbess Mary interrupted.

"This is Sister Helen. Apart from her title, she was actually my younger sister, also pregnant by my devious fiancée. It was just as well he died in the wars otherwise my father might have killed him anyway. Sister Helen is right. We wanted sex. The Abbot and his monks were our lovers."

"Where are they?" I asked.

"Them? That's part of the story after the Commissioners discovered us. It was obvious that we weren't genuinely religious but sex-starved women. The men were our sexual slaves, paid well for providing what we wanted. Abbot and Monks they were not. Well-endowed young men? Yes, they were. We wore them out and had to replace them after about a year. The five who were here when the Commissioners arrived didn't deserve death for being our sexual partners. So they didn't die."

"Neither did we," That was Helen again.

"Sister, let me tell the story, please. Our father, and the other women's parents were displeased that the deception had been discovered. They were all powerful men and the Commissioners were not averse to receiving cash in hand as long as the buildings became the King's. They concocted the story of the men's' plea that we were witches. The men were condemned to life imprisonment in the dungeons of Dover Castle where they would be forgotten. They were soon forgotten because they were never in the dungeons. They went to London with new names. As for us, strangled and dumped at sea? Rubbish! We went to Calais and then a few miles beyond the area controlled by the English to start another women's refuge. No one knew or cared what some Englishwomen were doing in a former chateau, particularly as we paid for our supplies and services in gold."

"If you didn't die associated with this chapel, why are you still here?" Nicola asked.

"Because this is the place where we were happiest. We were young, fit and well swived daily by handsome young men. When we did eventually die, surrounded by our children and grandchildren, we wanted to return here to the scenes of our happy youth."

Abbess Mary paused. She waved a hand. The furnishings of the chapel changed. The replica altar and Priapic pillars we had installed changed slightly.

"This is how it was when those Commissioners came. Nicola? Can you bring Geoff to the altar? I want to show you what it was really like."

Nicola stood up and virtually dragged me to the altar.

"Sister Helen? Show them how it works, please."

Helen lay on her back across the altar. Her hips were higher than her torso. Her legs, bent at the knees, dangled off one end. Her head was supported by a projection at the other end.

"Whoever is lying on the altar can be secured in place," Abbess Mary said, "and their head clamped firmly. Usually that isn't necessary because our sacrifices were willing volunteers. Geoff? Please take Helen's place so that Nicola can appreciate the advantages."

I was not sure I wanted to do that. Nicola squeezed my hand.

"Go on, Geoff. This could be interesting."

"You want to do this?"

"Yes, Geoff."

I matched Sister Helen's position on the altar. It was surprisingly comfortable, padded underneath my body.

"If we turn our backs, Nicola, you can try..."

I didn't hear the rest. Nicola had flipped up her skirt and had sat on my head. Her thighs were against my ears. My lips were against her labia. She hadn't been wearing panties. She moved slightly forward, spreading her thighs so I could insert my tongue.

I felt another pair of legs straddle me. My erection inside my trousers was growing rapidly. Could I be fucked by a ghost? The apparent weight of whoever it was seemed to suggest that it was really possible. The weight was removed seconds later. Nicola lifted herself off my face.

"You can see the possibilities, Geoff," Abbess Mary said. "That was only a demonstration, even if both Nicola and Sister Helen wanted to do it properly. But I said we wouldn't alarm you and jumping on your cock would be going too far on a first meeting."

"Yes, Abbess Mary, that would be alarming," I replied. "I can appreciate the utility of the altar, but being ridden by a ghost? That would be worrying."

"It shouldn't be," Sister Helen said. "We are very experienced."

"Sister?" Abbess Mary interrupted. "Please let me do the talking. Nicola, Geoff, what we would like to do is to come to your wedding reception on Halloween. Of course you'll have to ask Tom and Tamara as well, but we could be the entertainment, perhaps? We could enter singing one of our chants..."

"Chants?" Nicola asked. "Most of us had heard singing but they didn't sound like chants."

Abbess Mary looked embarrassed.

"We call them chants but they are more like your modern Rugby songs, in Latin of course, but they celebrate making love - physically."

"Eskimo Nell?" I suggested.

"Perhaps," Abbess Mary replied. "They are sung from the women's point of view, praising the male organ and what we can do with it. Sisters?"

Abbess Mary stood in front of the altar and raised her hands like a conductor. The other nuns stood facing her. Nicola and I were to one side of the altar, slightly behind it.

"Jubilate," Abbess Mary announced. She waved her hand to give the beat and the nuns started singing as she brought her hand down.

She was right. This was nothing like a chant. Although it was in Latin it was very bawdy with hand actions from the nuns. Translating the words in my head was difficult but Nicola, who never studied Latin, got the message of the song easily. Put simply, the bigger the cock the better the ride...

The chorus was simple. After the third repeat of the chorus, Abbess Mary turned to us.

"You can join in with the chorus,"

We did.

At the end of the song, the nuns were giggling.

"That's a sample of what we'd like to do tomorrow evening," Abbess Mary said. "If we are welcome."

"I'd like all of you to be there," Nicola said without consulting me. "I'll just ring Tamara and see if she'll agree."

Nicola did. She walked to the doorway into the chapel and used her mobile to ring Tamara. They spoke for about five minutes. Nicola came back to us.

"Tamara would be delighted," Nicola announced.

"How about Tom?" I asked.

"Tom? He'll do whatever Tamara wants."

I could see that Tom and I are going to have to accept that tomorrow's brides will expect to be the decision makers in our married lives.

"Don't worry, Geoff," Abbess Mary said. "You'll enjoy it. So will Tom. Sisters? Another song. You know which one."

The nuns serenaded us again. This time the actions were even more explicit. During the last verse Abbess Mary, Sister Helen and Nicola surrounded me and performed the actions against my body. When they ended my erection was almost unbearable.

"We'll leave you two until tomorrow evening," Mary said. "Nicola, I think Geoff needs to be on our altar - now!"

The nuns formed up in a double line and walked out of the chapel, singing the chorus of their second song. Nicola pulled me to the altar, unzipped my trousers and mounted me. As she rode me, I could hear the nuns' chorus in the distance.

-o-

The wedding was a very low key affair. Apart from the Brides and Grooms, the three Matrons of Honour and their partners as Ushers, the congregation was no more than about thirty.

After the photo session in the churchyard, everyone else said their farewells. The ten of us walked to the old chapel. The caterers had left the food and drink on a side table just inside the chapel door. We stood around for about an hour chatting before we adjourned to separate rooms to change into our costumes for the Halloween Party as Monks and Nuns. I had left a CD of Gregorian Chants playing in the entrance hall.

We assembled in that entrance hall, in couples side by side dressed as monks and nuns. I had switched the CD player off. Nicola and I pushed open the doors to the chapel. We tried to conceal our surprise. The chapel wasn't as we had left it a few minutes earlier. It was as it had been last night when Abbess Mary and her nuns had come to us, with some small difference. Instead of a single altar and pillars to Priapus there were four more altars arranged around the original one. There were fewer candles.

I shut the doors behind us. Nicola and I went and stood by the central altar. Why not? It is our chapel.

I heard the nuns singing in the distance. I walked forward.

"Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome Abbess Mary and the nuns of this chapel," I announced loudly.

Most of them looked at me, puzzled, but swung around as the chapel doors were opened. The nuns entered singing. Our costumes were knee length. Theirs brushed the floor as they entered. Our hoods or headdresses were loose. Their headdresses and wimples were tight around their heads, forcing them to look forwards. They walked up the aisle in pairs and stopped facing Nicola and I.

"Please join in with the chorus," I asked.

The nuns continued singing, emphasising the chorus. Nicola and I added our voices to the first repeat. By the third chorus most of the others had joined in. Only then did the nuns add the actions to the verses and chorus. Tom started to smile and then grinned broadly. The other three men were startled when their wives started doing the actions too.

At the end of their song, Abbess Mary stood between Nicola and I.

"Thank you Geoff, for introducing us. We have been working on our songs because some of you might not understand our Latin. Here is Jubilate in Sister Helen's translation into English. Again, please join in with the chorus..."

There were gasps at the end of the first voice and chorus. Tom and I had understood that the Latin of Jubilate was obscene, but Sister Helen's translation of this song was as rude as Eskimo Nell. Again there were accompanying actions, very explicit.

After several more songs, and one from Tom - The Good Ship Venus - I offered Abbess Mary and her nuns some champagne to celebrate the double wedding. I wasn't sure that ghosts could drink. These ones could and obviously enjoyed the champagne. They were mixing with the humans but I could see that the five couples were being assigned to two nuns each. Abbess Mary and Sister Helen were with us.

"Geoff," Abbess Mary said quietly, "In a minute or two I want you and Nicola to demonstrate your position on the altar, please."

"We will," Nicola said before I could.

"When do we tell them you are actually ghosts?" I asked.

"When the men are in position with their wives astride them," Abbess Mary replied. "Not before. You'll have to do it, Nicola. Geoff won't be able to..."