All Comments on 'Who's This?'

Almost impossible for a stranger to follow. It's lovely when people have a pride in the area in which they live, the culture, the traditions, the history, geography etc, whether they were born there or not, whether they can trace their roots back a thousand years or just five. Yes sir, pride generously shared and demonstrated is a wonderful thing. Parochial arrogance, impatience, stubborn and haughty narrow-mindedness, an elevated sense of self-worth, and a complete disdain of other's traditions, lifestyles and culture, somewhat less so.

JB44 writes stories that you can read over and over , and never get tired of them.

Loved his reaction to those spoiled ass hats, Great job, thanks for sharing.

Had the potential to be a 5. Gave a 2. Too much unanswered

So her hatred for him dissipated as she realized what she has lost, the women of her family are ousted, they lost their high life and believe that he did it. However if he did not do it, then who did, either way, he knew what was happening and made his plans. He found a new wife and happiness, while she must go back to the bitterness of her mother and sister, while Michael is still in jail.

Quite good, you could stand with a bit more effort on transitions, maybe a bit more editing.

Keep up the good work, always happy to visit DeGarde.

The story jumped around a lot but otherwise was a good read.

I'm not an educated writer, nor an English/Creative Writing teacher so my comments come more from Dixie's Trailer Park. Really enjoyed this slice of life, thanks for the entertainment. As always, I love your talent with words.

"Donny is the least likeable person in existence, She dodged a bullet." Seriously?

I did miss the part of the story where Donny ever actually liked her.

Donny is the least likeable person in existence, She dodged a bullet.

Most excellent five star slice of life.

Convoluted but enjoyable. Four stars.

JPB

Thanks for a fun read.

Enjoyed reading this story, but a smile on my face. Thanks for your writing.

Odd motivation. Guess just a sense of entitlement. Was clear that wasn't her first time with Michael, nor her mom with Michael. Her mom and her were both present that fateful night when her father called. Was Belle there too? 10 inch and thick is incredibly rare. Bigger than 95% of pornstars. Maybe more. Probability is less than 1 on 50k. Check out the stats online. So she had the best sex she ever had with Donny until she started her fling with Michael. And she is dreaming of Michael while being with Donny the last couple of times, because of course a monster penis is better. Lol. 7 to 8 inches is considered optimal for maximal fulfillment in large scale studies of sexually active women 18 to 55. Drops precipitously at 9 inches to just 50% as pain is main complaint. Drops to 10% at 12 inches, though that isnthe size the interviewed women perceive, and not actual. A 12 inch penis is a unicorn regardless of ethnicity. It is that rare. But just like men inflate penis size when measuring, women inflate the size of larger penises (and underestimate the size of smaller penises) in a nonlinear manner. So a 7 inch appears to be an 8 inch, and 9 inch well over 10 inches and a 10 inch penis "appears" to be a 12 inch. There aren't enough real penises at 10 inches or larger for women to have remotely experimental in their lifetime.

@Infosauger, all your questions have self-evident replies, but I'll spell them out for you to make it simple.

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She cheated because she grew up in a shallow, selfish environment and took those lessons to heart. The more important things to her and her family were not substance and honour, but the trappings of success, and what they could get for themselves.

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Cheating was even secondary to the belief that they were entitled. Other people's feelings, and personal integrity did not figure in their lives.

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This is why her family all hated him; he was immune to their nature. They could not corrupt him with appearance and money.

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It was more than likely Donovan was the informant but it does not matter to the story. They got what was coming to them and he moved on, jettisoning the lot of them.

Overcritical is exactly the right name.

Just stay away from JimBob44's stories. We won't miss you, and you won't have to grapple with understanding the tone and style... the universe... that JimBob44 has created.

As for the anony comment, "Who inform (sic)"; as if it mattered.

The only pertinent point is that Myra finally seemed to grow up a little and take responsibility for her own life.

Another stellar effort, JimBob, thanks for your offering.

Only question as other

Who inform

Incoherent, n a nutshell. Not worth further commentary 2*

Smooth operator, that Donny. 5*

Smooth operator, that Donny. 5*

LOL, one of your better stories. Stuck up, entitled Bitch and whole family got what they deserved.

Only drawback.

Would love to know who informed.

Give whoever a hearty yeah!!!

I was hoping it was Donovan

Good story but your transitions need major work. You need to at least introduce new characters before they’re making verbal contributions… kept the story from flowing.

I would really like to know, why she cheated. Why cheated her wife? Why did they hate him? And did Donny send the information or not?

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Since you don't read emails, I can't send praise by email to make up for the idiots who hate your stories.

I Like your stories.

I read them because, they keep reminding me of basic truths about life and people.

Thank you.

3 stars the part I really liked the most was Donovan NOT being turned into a cuck/wimp.

Cheat why did she do it? He wasn't good enough for her and them a shame really.

No boobs, no ass. Self centered, rude and a cheater. Why did Donny ever have anything to do with her after she went all the way the night they met?

"Still waters run deep." - Old Saying

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"Some people are so shallow as to be all surface." - H.L. Mencken

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Great ending! 5/5!!

Enjoyed your story. Thank you!

Some people just don't understand that just the have money, the world owes them a kiss on the ass

I am kinda wondering why Donny hung around. Now me after first time I would stay around for a second slip

and I would have resigned from the game, and maybe after the trip to Shy town. Ya can't pick your parents but you can pick your nose. In this case what you get out of your nose might have more value -- you can breath better

It was good of the whore to finally be decent.

The worst part of this story? Myra shaved off her orange red pubes! No real fire crotch should ever shave off her pubes!

I don't hate it matter of fact, this was funny. Thank you

It turned out that Myra was just as much a one night stand to Donny as she was to her fling partner.

I particularly liked that Donovan did not become a simpering, soulless idiot when dealing with Myra, which seems to be the pattern in most other, similar stories. No. He kept true to himself.

OK, not a story to cheer you up, but that wasn't the point. JimBob44 is one hell of a story-teller and his dystopian vignettes are among the best on this site.

So 5 for the writing and the character development.

Should have given Myra incurable std from her slutting around .

Good story, but a little loopy. Jumped back and forth a little too much at the end there, and especially without any formatting, was a bit plodding to follow.

Mechanic and covered.

Stock market only mentioned twice and teaser

jtwheels

Gave you 5* but I'm not sure where your story led me and dropped me off. Well written, concise, complete story arc.

This is a great story the second time. I can't believe people send threatening emails to authors over a damn story that no one made them read. They some weird folks on this LW site though. I get quite a few emails myself. Mostly good, but some really nasty ones from the cuck fans. I even got a nasty one from the great HarryinVagina. Imagine one of the immortals sending me an email!

Myra was just too immature and self absorbed for a relationship. She did right at the end though and lied to protect Donny. I know JB has moved on but the ending makes me feel like Myra's story could have continued into another detailing her continued growth and redemption

If you're that easily confused, then this will really make your head explode. 1+2=3, but 2+1=3 also. Sav? Sav, you there? Shit, somebody help him up off the floor!

Excellent.

A LOT OF HOLES, CONFUSING, AND MANY QUESTIONS LEFT UNANSWERED. A 2 AT BEST. TRY A RE-WRITE AND FILE IN THE HOLES, STRAIGHTEN OUT THE CONFUSION, AND ANSWER THE MANY QUESTIONS.

...who wonders, "Did Donny really have an investment portfolio?"

and @ sbrooks103x who incorrectly answers him "No."

(These two are representative of other commenters.)

What do you think happened to all the money that he and his sister Lindsey got from:

1) the payoffs from the airline over their parents' deaths

(that's TWO payoffs)

2) the insurance money from their parents' deaths

3) the insurance money and / or payoff from the Air Force over their brother's death

??

He certainly had not squandered it on an ostentatious house.

He did not even own a suit until "forced" to buy a couple for the wedding of his girlfriend's sister.

Having money helps to explain why he was not impressed by the extravagant house of Myra's folks

(an added explanation is that he had enough character to not be impressed by pretentious ungrateful snobs, no matter how rich).

For some of the other unknowns of the story, don't miss the viable insights of TwOCrOws.

Since nobody in the story knows who sent the incriminating pictures or who tipped off the IRS, how can the readers possibly know?

I agree with commenter just before me, 26thNC.

Another intriguing JimBob 5-star story.

Paul in Oklahoma

Nothing but praise for this one. Just one more great story from JB44. Best I've seen in a while.

Only issue I had was 1/2 way through the last page, Myra drops her phone in her purse. Then she's on the road to Chicago making good time

Took several sentences and rereading twice to realize it was a flashback 2yrs when Mrya went home and got arrested. A little spacing or ***** to separate the flashback would have been nice.

Thanks for writing..

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I liked it a lot.

Good story but odd ending considering the self absorbed personality of Myra. Her character just didn’t strike me as one to just accept that she was SOL

Write more like this

JimBob44

I for one thought you did a great job on the character development - some may pick "holes" at parts of your plot such as the real wealth of Donovan etc, but for me, your tale was entertaining with just the right amount of sexual tension between the major players. My advice....keep submitting!

Lots of dangling unknowns that only lead to likely ASSumptions.

ASS #1 - Donny/Donovan owned the the trucking business allowing him to take whenever, he was a working owner who enjoyed the work. I bet he owned the Rooster Pull too. He owned his house and had a portfolio he payed with. He could talk turkey with any investor - he was no dumb grease mechanic. Don was just a very secure man that did not need to brag or impress others with material things nor his knowledge.

ASS #2 - Don (or his Dr. Lindsey/sister) got a PI to get pics and likely much more. The PI sent the photos. The PI sent the other details to the IRS. So Don did not do any of it, but his protective sister might!

ASS #3 - three months before trial on a simple B&E, of an empty house. Plus she did have un-working keys/garage door opener to the place. This was a story BS'er.

ASS #4 - Don loved Myra even after he was slapped 2yrs 3mo prior in Chicago. (I'd have dumped her ass after that three layer snub - obvious he didn't measure up.) He tried to fit in, help the parents that only saw him as a grease monkey until the snobs smacked him the final time then distanced himself - Myra never saw it.

The Melinda's part in the story was very shallow. He'd live with Myra for over 2yrs but marry Melinda in under three months?!? Or is there background here that is missing in the story?

F-16A/C/E are all single seat variants. Great story by the way.

when i say it's not long enough, it's not a gripe it's a complement. you have some great "loving wife" scenarios and i think often a bit of a shame they're only 2 or 3 pages long.

Yes, there were some 'unfinished/unexplained' parts. But this guy did what had to be done and did it without the angst and misery that usually comes with a cheating wife/girlfriend. I'm just surprised he waited so long after the 1st visit to the sister's home where he was treated like 'shit'. That should have been the end of the relationship there. I'm guessing that the unexplained parts were left to the imagination of the reader. Thanks for an entertaining and interesting story.

Okay, she's a self-centered, entitled, spoiled bitch, but in her way she DID love him. How in the world did she not make her sister give him a bedroom, etc.?

Did she lie about finding him because she didn't want to admit he couldn't care less about her, or to protect him from her family's vengeance?

Why did she have to sit in jail for three months after arraignment? With all her family's money she couldn't make bail?

Liked the story and the dry resolve of Donny. Only issue I had was about the F-16. They are single seat fighters and don't have co-pilots. The trainers are two seat, but that's instructor pilot and student pilot; no "co" at all. F-15's and F-18's come in two seat variants but the second seat is a weapons and electronic counter measures operator.

When SHE she "pushed the thoughts out", was it a "Hey, I'm such a spoiled bitch slut that the actual idea that people should be responsible for their own actions has no bearing on my class of people" or was it "He went out of his way to be nice to me and my family and we were so shitty to him that I've really lost what could have been the best thing in my life and I can't think about that or I'd just have to kill myself"...?

If she just ONCE had thought if his name as Donovan towards the end, I'd have believed the latter... But with her always thinking "Donnie", I don't know...

And I'd like to know why she HAD been looking for him all this time...? If she believed he was involved in destroying her parent's marriage and her lover's and his wife's (her sister) life, why would she WANT to be with him...?

You're quite a good writer & this was a pleasant easy read, pity more authors don't pay greater attention to producing stories for enjoyment reading. 4 ****

thanks for sharing it with us. Liked his attitude. Don't need to take no shit off of anybody just to be with them. More so with a wife I guess but a marriage is averaging not one event at a time. Still and all if you are auditioning for a job, like she was, you should probably act a little better during the interview process.

good story, i agree with others that it could have used a little more detail but still a good read. I have read a lot of your stories and even though this story may not relate, i was hoping that from now on the ones you write that do relate to each other, please let us know some how. because i really like that as i've read more and more of your stories that do have common characters, i like how it finishes that story or continues it.

Please need a sequal there is a lot of in answers who told the irs and sent the photos if it wasn't Donny. And maybe more of Donny's story of after he left.

Read it twice, considering her personality it still not make sense

For the read.

But got lost in second half. Your writing skills make the story worth reading. Next time dont hurry the end.

Interesting reading - good reading time! Well worth time to read!

Myra was certainly an interesting character. I appreciate you writing for your pleasure and sharing!!

Please do keep writing and I will keep reading!

I always read your stories, they have a particular "flavour" and sound. They also often show a stoicism of the lead characters in the face of advesity that I really like. Well done, again.

Good story, the end could have been flushed out a little more. The way he talked about his investments, I really figured he was going to turn out rich and was a mechanic because he liked to work on things and didn't see a reason to live above what he needed.

the first part is well written and if ended there would be a five.

Part two has a build up and then just stops. Unfinished.

Did the author die.

But no real resolution for Myra and her family.

just a tad disconnected for me to follow from one jump to another.

I loved the way he mocked Mikey about his investments. Especially since most of the money Mikey had was borrowed from his in-laws.

I liked your story, I loved your characters, but your transitions were a little confusing to me. I could have used at least an extra blank line or two to let me know a scene had changed, where one line of dialogue followed another with no break. Likewise, the flashback could have used a little something to keep me from having to look back and clarify.

However, I do like a hero with dignity. Bravo for Donnie/Donovan and his 'take me or leave me' attitude. You never revealed who sent the pictures or alerted the IRS, but Donovan said he didn't, and made a point of honesty, so I believe him. Thanks for letting me have a part in your story by deciding myself. My money's on Lindsay protecting the brother, who she was so very close to.

Thanks for writing!

Interesting but confusing tale. All I know is our hero caught his entire ex's family fucking around and took a powder. They all got fucked and he is happy. That's what makes this tale for me.

please do a follow up chapter. Need to find out about Donny's sister and who gave the info on the family if it wasn't Donny?

Really enjoyed the story.

Particulalry that some of the blanks were left as blanks, it gave my imagination something to do.

Thanks JB

I have to scratch my head whenever I find myself on the other side of the comments from LSD. Thankfully, don't have to on this offering! Easy to read? Nope! Disorganized? Nope ... just not organized MY way ... neither were any of the 'stream of consciousness' writers. This is uncomfortable on OTHER counts, as well, but well worth the trouble!

Tag under 'dealing with an entitled bitch!'. Should be required reading for middle school kids ... boys, sure! ... but also pubescent entitled bitches!

Cinco!

I'm not sure, but I think the mispronunciations were deliberate, playing up to her family's image of him as ignorant.

I'm pretty sure his "investments" were a joke to yank Mickey's chain! The "metals" we're the engines and such, the "oil" was the diesel oil.

I had no real problem with the date headings, except that the second on either shouldn't have been there at all, since it was just the next day of the prior scene, or if it HAD to be there, it simply should have been "The Next Day".

And then to NOT label the flashback scene, not to even put some dashes or something? It obviously is what happened after the cartons were dropped of at her parents' house, but there was no indication, made it confusing.

You could describe Donovan that way.

But really how much emotional connection should he have had to Myra?

She made no effort to know him, took him for granted, cared not at all when he was being disrespected in front of her - in fact took part in disrespecting him.

He dumped her.

Who burned them?

Unknown, but from their actions it is unlikely that they only treated Donovan that way so they probably made plenty of enemies.

then it lost focus. I wanted to know more about the characters and what happened.

I frankly thought it was a confusing and convoluted plot.

Filled with different people, some flawed, some flawed but redeemed and some just evil, nasty critters.

Oh, 5 stars, of course.

LeCarre does novels like this... shows a bit of sophistication to understand and absorb... there is more to the story and it is left to the reader to complete... well done

He doesn't make it easy for me and there are sections of narrative where I flat-out flounder and I often disagree with a few plot vectors. by the end , it's almost always worthwhile. I count this effort as belonging in the aforementioned catagory.

Full marks * * * * *

I'm with the commenter who said that he had no idea what this was all about. Donny is a cross between and absolute genius and a clear-cut idiot. If he was so clever how come it took so long to figure out Myra? I can't think of a single redeeming feature of her physically or personality-wise. A good lay? Not good enough to make up for the rest of her deficiencies. Unfortunately this was only 3 pages long so I was drawn into finishing the story which was an utter waste of time. Better luck next time and remember the concept of keeping a story coherent and making the characters consistent. A generous 3*

I have no idea what that was all about especially the ending. Total waste of my reading time.

First off - you're a good writer. Let's get that out of the way. I'd just like to offer some constructive criticism.

The simple text of "Two years, three weeks and one day later.", "Two years, three weeks and two days later." was a little hard to follow. A lot of that was on Literotica's lack of formatting, but you might try to insert some lines/whitespace, etc to help make it clear that there is a break in the narrative.

Donny states a couple of times that he has investments, and make comments that suggest he understands the market (the implication being that he's not just a dumb greasemonkey) - but he also mispronounces some things towards the end, and we never actually find out if he had real money invested, or if he was just posturing for the benefit of the family. The latter seems doubtful, but you leave that unresolved - some allusion to his money, maybe Myra sees a quarterly summary, that sort of thing would be nice.

Donny is built up nicely to start with, but the end is a little weak. There are lots of unresolved questions. Like other comments have suggested, it would have been nice to have found out where the pictures and the IRS tip came from - even some sort of insinuation or speculation. Without that, these feel like karmic deux ex machina - fun to read about, but they don't really make much sense.

I'm guessing it was Micheal's wife who sent the pics? Great mystery. Enjoyed the story.

Sure would like to have known who sent the photos and tipped off the IRS if Donny really didn't do it.

A little loose on the wrap up, but the rest of the story was very good.

Not as strong as some of your other stories, but still great. Look forward to every story you post.

Thanks.

Granted, I tend to speed read most of the time, but even when I slowed down and backtracked I found it difficult to keep up with all the characters and time shifting in this story. Every story is told for a purpose, and it just isn't clear to me what this story's purpose is. What is the moral of this story? What were we suppose to have learned?

I think this is meant to be a quasi-BTB tale, although the main two characters were never married -- or even technically engaged. That softens the blow of the inevitable need for revenge and retribution. There simply isn't as much at stake.

As with all classic BTB tales, the male protagonist is a hard-working blue collar guy who is way smarter and morally superior to any other character in the story. And, for reasons that elude me, the male protagonist is always -- always -- portrayed as emotionless and stoic. Donny's attitude toward Myra from the very beginning was a shrug of his shoulders and a "whatever." If she wanted to date him, he was fine with that. If not, that seemed fine, too.

With zero emotional investment in that relationship, why on earth would he care if that relationship ended? And if he didn't care, why should we?

As with all of these stories, the hero finds someone much better while the villain ends up broken and miserable for the rest of her life, regretting her actions, and begging for forgiveness. At least...that's what I think happened at the end of this story. It's hard to tell.

I thank the author for the time and effort.

keep up the work with this kinda writing

... to read with all the jumping back and forth in time. But I liked it.

Please keep writing

Good story and good read. Five stars