All Comments on 'Wife's First Bi Experience'

It seems like we’re all just repeating the same criticism again and again, so there’s no need to add to the dogpile. I know that you (author) now know to include a little more backstory, character development, emotion, tension, drama, etc.

CarolinaDreamer gave you some great advice on your last tale, and it applies to this one just as well. That is, just because you’re writing a true story, it doesn’t mean you can’t (and shouldn’t) embellish. I’ve taken many of my true stories and added completely fictional elements just to give the stories a little dramatic flare.

Even if you stick to the straightforward memoir, you can give your true story a beginning, middle, and end to make it more compelling. These short snippets aren’t nearly as compelling.

Just my advice! Put as much weight into it as you paid for it!

Love the fact that you are recounting real experiences. Some people want embellishment, some don't. We love the realness of the story. Don't be put off from just telling it like it was!

Liked the story and faved you to see what else you have to write.

Embellishments can actually be real in a story IMO. OH and who are you??, besides her husband. We know Diane is (shall I say) a hot looking closet bi-sexual, which is interesting. You are on the other hand are a noname, maybe slightly reluctant husband. Gathered that from the other story, Bob would be good or Dick.

For what I call real embellishments, describe the parties a bit more, the party house maybe, the other people you two see, ect.

Okay, my example:

We walked up to the large wooden entry door and rang. We were greeted by the hostess Lynn who was stunning. After greetings we were ushered in to the den and introduced to Bob, her husband, who cheerfully greeted us. I noticed how large the house was and must have contained many, um play rooms, as drinks were brought.

I have been in a house like that but not for a swing-party. When I try to write I play a movie in my head. lol Keep writing I would like to see more.

You have the usual suspects praising your slurry little story. Write for them and you'll fade fast.