All Comments on 'Wild Wolves Ch. 02'

you keep switching from her being in college to being in highschool but good story other than that mistake

I think this is a bit of an improvement over your first chapter, but it still needs some work. There are words that make no sense in your chapter. And I thought she was in college. Please find an editor for your next chapter. Thanks.

I'd like to see a longer chapter that goes deeper into your plot next time. It's hard to get into a story with such short chapters b/c it feels like just as the chapter gets going it ends. I know you heard it already, but definitely get an editor through the site or if you have someone at home even to correct it, that'd be great. The mistakes are too obvious. I think if you read it out loud to yourself maybe you'll hear them. Sometimes it's hard to correct your own work. It does need to be cleaned up so it doesn't feel like a draft. I was a bit suprised this girl who wanted to cause the main character problems wouldn't press charges. Esp if her beautiful face was messed up. And you said the fight was her punching then grabbing her head so it sounded like the blond didn't do anything back but then she showed up at home with scratches etc. So, just try to make sure you match up details so that it feels more real. The more description you put in the better anyhow.

I am looking forward to seeing where you take it...will she get help? from who? how will she meet someone who understands? I hope we can see another chapter soon!

I'm sorry, but i just feel like this story is based on Lust for alpha's story about Miley. I am sure that it isn't intentional. Maybe just a case of cryptomnesia, but be careful.

I am sure that your story will be wonderful if you take the time to find an editor. Like another reader said, sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we are writing that we don't see our mistakes.

I know that is will sound dumb, but try reading it to yourself aloud before you post it. You will be able to catch a lot of errors that way. It works for me. :)

Once again, my work is origonal and isn't a skimp from anybody, Please at least allow me time to Get the characters introduced before you call me a copy-cat. since your comments I can see why you would think that at the begining, but you'll see soon. ;). Miley and Gabriel are two very differnt young ladies. I now have an editor and have just resubmitted ch.01 so in a few days chapters that are a lot better will be posted, again many thanks to you all, and keep commenting.

Sweetie,

We are not accusing you of plagiarizing, we are just trying to bring it to your attention because your story has so much potential. If we didn't like the story, then we wouldn't have commented. :)

Hi, I just read your story and the comments that were posted. Is not the same story but the plot is kindo of similar of the other one but they are many nonhuman stories with the same plot. Like a human girl falls in love with a vampire and wants to be turned but he dosen't want to because she'll become a souless creature, blah, blah, blah. Same in another stories they all go the same way but you should contunie with the story is awosome.

Sincerely a Fan.

WHILE IT IS A VERY GOOD STORY THAT YOU ARE CREATING . YOUR FANS (YES YOU NOW HAVE ADMIRES) ALL AGREE ITS GOOD , BUTT IT WOOD BEE A LOT BETTER IF EWE ORE SOME-BODY ELSE WOOD PROOF READ IT PRIOR TWO YOUR POSTING IT..AGAIN THE ERRORS THAT EYE ENCOUNTERED WERE SIMPLE, ALTHOUGH THEY DEW DISRUPT THE EASY FLOW OF THE STORY.. FOR EXAMPLE;FALL INSTEAD OF FULL,OF INSTEAD OF OFF, A PART INSTEAD OF APART...DEW I WRIGHT STORIES? NO I DO NOT..COULD I WRITE A STORY AS WELL AS YOU DO ?INN ALL HONESTY I REALLY COULD NOT ... HOWEVER I DEW NO WHEN I ENJOY A GOOD READ.. & I HAVE ENJOYED BOTH OF YOUR SUBMISSIONS..WOOD LIKE TWO SEA THEM A LITTLE LONGER THO..LOOKING FORWARD TOO MOOR OF YOUR STORY...THANK YOU 4 SHARING... Joe

Gabriel keeps switching from being in High School and College, just some thing to keep an eye on :)

It's developing nicely.

Well that was a stupid thing to say,"developing nicely"... Crapppppp!!!!!, just read when this story was last updated 2010??????????? Ummmm i think is safe to say DEVELOPMENT HAS COME TO A STAND STILL !!!!!!!!!!!!

Love your story! Pls more!!!!

I thought this was a good start on a first story. The writing needs polishing, but it held my interest in the 2 chapters finished before it was abandoned.