All Comments on 'Willing Slave, Unwilling Master Ch. 09'

great back story on the history of the war, i really hope you have a long story to tell us, on how they will eventually make it together as a couple.....

any chance you could write longer chapters? please?

Hope to read the next chapter asap.

So much for them riding into the sunset and living happily ever after

Lovin this story. Keep it up. Cant wait for more.

LifeOnVil, I hope you have a way out of this mess. You promised us a happy ending.

And may I add my congratulations to those of tjb50cal. The background to everything that has happened so far in this story was interesting.

Lue

Hopefully we'll hear more soon. Only one odd typo - plant instead of planet. And did you truly mean galaxy? Solar or star system is probably what you meant; there's a huge difference in distance. Star systems are light years apart, but galaxies are millions of light years apart.

Thanks for sharing. 5*

Too many errors to have been proofread. Do you have so many commas in storage that you are forced to just sprinkle them around?

Too many errors to have been proofread. Do you have so many commas in storage that you are forced to just sprinkle them around?

Great job again, but this chapter seems a little short...

I didn't comment on the last chapter because, to be frank, I thought the story was stalled. However you have come back with a bang. Good writing with the backstory of the war and the current landscape of disconnected hubs. A wormhole could just as easily lead to another galaxy as another solar system.

I'll even overlook the biological impossibility of humans mating with aliens, when you could have used genetic modification or even just old fashioned breeding for desired characteristics, to make the Lower Vil look more human.

Slightly longer chapters would be appreciated, but don't feel pressured, end them where there is a natural break in your narrative, or as in this case a real cliff-hanger.

Not a big fan about stories with a plot resolved around pilitics. Quite many questions hanging around and that plus very short chapters make it quite hard to follow for me. Definately prefer the style of Slave to the servants than this though the concept was attractive at first.

Hey All, thanks for reading and all the comments. Hopefully I can answer some of your points.

@Smutol

I completely understand your reluctance to read something political, and how hard things can be to follow given the time between posting chapters, which I can only apologise for. Hopefully you will consider reading when the story is complete and can be taken as a whole.

PS: I like Slave to the Servants more as well =P

@Taliesin1

I did consider using another star system in the story, but I wanted to make it so that people would (hopefully) understand that the distance between planets is so vast traveling by ship, even with faster than light drives, is impossible.

On Chapter sizes.

As for having short chapters, this was the longest I have written at around 7K words. To be honest I don’t want to pad out chapters, when something does not really add to the story I don’t like to add it.

I know what happens at the end of the story and how I’m going to get there, my real challenge at the moment is splitting that into chapters, so you may find some chapters are shorter than others for narrative and not content reasons.

For those wondering how long the story will be I plan to have chapter 14 as the final for this particular tale of Dan and Rose.

PS: @Lue: Don’t worry, I will keep my promise, I promise. =D

i like the story keep up the good work

about the chapter length, or proof reading, or padding the story. your story keeps me hooked on chars n plot n a certain charm :)

for your feedback. I do like it when the author engages with those who bother to comment. Good to hear you have an end in view, it drives me crazy when a good story just stops.

This is very good. I am looking forward to what happens.

This story is one of the most beautiful I've ever encountered, grammatical errors aside. I can only hope it ends well. If it doesn't...that might just break my heart.

I do suspect that the cryo-gel will be used in one way or another, given the detail on it.

I love sci-fi and this story has that in spades. It's nice discovering the world through the eyes of Rose who has a different reason for not having a clue about the history of this imagined distant future. The story does a decent job of justifying slavery and how each generation thinks on the topic. For the ones who fought in the war, slaves were a new work force. For their children, slaves became a hot commodity and a status symbol and the male protagonist and his generation are just starting to question the necessity of slaves this long after a devastating war. Most sci-fi stories I've run into on this site tend towards a less gritty realistic take on the slave kink. The ruling class are ruthless and don't even try to justify their behavior, making them too easy to hate. Here each character has redeeming qualities and no named character is openly vilified except perhaps the man who first tried to buy Rose back, but even he seems to have a reason for doing what he does.

Most of this world building was revealed in the last two chapters and I'm completely hooked on this story. I'll be watching for updates.

5 stars.

I am so invested in this story now, I can't begin to quantify how amazing I think it is. I just love Rose and Dan so much, Emily too, not forgetting Jez and Zacky! I almost wish they were real. I can't quite decide if I'd like to have a real life Rose to snuggle with, or if I'd like to be a real life Rose, kept naked and collared and cared for by a real life Dan. I do so hope they'll all be alright, but I do have a sneaking suspicion that there might be a twist or two before it's all resolved.

Regardless, I shall be checking back frequently for updates, but take your time, don't let anyone rush you, perfection must never be rushed. Just know that this story is absolutely brilliant and totally riveting and the characters and situation you have created here are the work of an extraordinarily talented writer. Thank you so very much.

Love Zoe.

(p.s. If you're still struggling for a proofreader or two, I would be absolutely honoured if you would consider me.)

I hate it when I'm right.

5 Stars all the way through, just... please continue!

J

Oh hell! This is getting intense!

Entertaining and engaging characters, well-paced plot and intriguing story line. A reader can't ask much more from an author, now can they? Thank you, LifeonVil.

James aka FinalStand

Ahhhh!!! When are you doing the next one?!?! This must continue!!

Chapter 10 is with my proofreader, and will be posted as soon as he gets back to me. Which hopefully won't be too long. =D

Thank you all for reading and posting really nice comments.

LifeonVil

NO, I NEED MORE, GIVE ME MOOOOOOOOORE, also love the story

Please more! This is one of the best stories I have read. Have you thought about writing a book and getting it published? I would absolutely love to read anything you write.

Ugh!

So happy to see another update! I really love this story!

Would give more stars if allowed. One of the best I have read on the site.

I love this! It’s more than just something to get off to, its a full on, immersive story.

The pulse is beginning to speed up now just like the story. 5 stars

[22.07.22]

Looove the KFC und Hitchhiker's references!

11/10!!!!!

Man I love the story and the world/universe you've built up, but this is one slooooow story. This entire arc of escaping and driving into the horizon was pointless - nothing really happened and they ended up in the hands of the same enforcers that would have caught them at home. I liked the first few chapters, but after that it's felt like everything is happening at 0.5x speed for some reason.

Amazing chapter. Loved it. I usually find exposition to be quite annoying, but the author managed to truly pull at my heartstrings through said exposition. Not to mention how well it was intervowen with the plot as well as Rose' character development. Truly starting to fall head over heels for this story. The author has earned yet another ''subscriber''/fav.

5/5 chapter. Loved it. But that clifhanger is just pure evil tbh heh. Thank god I wasn't following this story back when it was releasing.