by lostangelkira
I have enjoyed your story thus far i hope as time goes on it will get longer
I hope nothing doesn't happen to bring out Niri's insecurities and have her run from Xander.
Ok, I really like the story so far. It's original and very interesting. That said, until they were literally having sex, I didn't feel any 'sparks' between Niri and Xander. The descriptions of their relationship didn't really so anything--they didn't read like foreplay. The two didn't seem, act, talk, or were even described like potential lovers. In my opinion, there wasn't enough dialogue between the characters. More conversation could've helped the audience see their attraction. Also, so you wrote that Xander is a lot older than Niri, but they grow up together? So even though he was an adult dragon (or old enough to fight and be tortured in a war) but he decided to go into the human world as a child. Why would an adult dragon decide to act like a six year old boy and subsequently age like that? I thought that was a little weird. But still, good work. I'm really enjoying the piece!