All Comments on 'Witchy Women'

First point. You write well in that your grammar, spelling and syntax is quite good.

Second. Your stentencing and structure is also good.

Finally I'm not sure of your intent with this story other than it's a vehicle to improve your writing. If you intended this to be the start of a great series sorry but you have come out of the blocks too fast. Each of the main female characters might have taken a couple of chapters to bed. You can tease it or rub pussy in the readers' face. And hey if this was a stand alone experiment then all power to you. The spank monkeys will be very happy.

Given the nature of the Lit site you have to have some raunch in it. But not necessarily between main characters. You just need to demonstrate that you can write 'sex' well. You do it well but you've overdone it IMHO.

Most good stories will have a hero and an anti-hero. Good vs Bad. I think I see the good guy but you need better foreshadowing about the evil wizard or coven master or some such evil threat. No need to more than hint that he/them/it exists.

Good luck and patience with your writing and well done to you in at least having a go and putting this up.

*** this time but you have potential.

This was a pleasure to read. It is a good story, made better by good grammar, with a few errors, but ok. I really enjoyed it and the images created in my mind were vivid and sensual. I look forward to reading more of your work. Thank you.

This is a standalone effort. No future works with this group are being considered. Thanks for the input, I do appreciate it. My intention was to put down one of the stories that roll around in my head until I get them down. I go back and reread them and some are good, some, not so much. This was one I thought was good enough to post. If you look through my list, you will find that some were not well received. So part of me picking them is not just improvement for me, but identifying my audience and what works for them. Thanks again!

that this story rolled around and found it's way onto paper. A very, very enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing. 5*****, more if it were allowed.