All Comments on 'Within Horizon'

rushed is being polite, your story obviously covers months, and you just jump 3 months in the future refering to things the reader never saw.. otherwise it was decent.

No kiddie stories!!!!!!!

This is a fairly good story, bar the ending as others have commented, but it's not a lesbian story. Other than some nudity which isn't excessively detailed (no sensual language etc) this is entirely non-erotic. That's not a criticism, merely an observation that this would be better suited to a different category.

Quite a nice little story with a lot of potential, if a little on the coy side.

I liked 'her dairy aire' :) !

Keep writing - this was OK - and thank you for sharing your talent with us.

traci

but ended lame, like you ran out of ideas and just wanted to shut it down quickly and bail. I too liked "dairy aire": it sure beats Dairy Queen. Next time try "derriere", or better still, just say "butt" or "ass"--cute only counts on Project Runway. Why no groping, fingering, sucking, etc.? This is Literotica, not The Girl Scouts Hour. Re-read your stories before posting--as Isaac Bashevis Singer said, "the wastebasket [now the "delete" key] is the writer's best friend."

I'm not sure why it's in the lesbian section. There is little to no lesbian activity in this story, but I am planning on adding it in a future sequel which goes into more details about Brittany and Alicia's time in their cell.

This was a good beginning to a story but you some how waffled off into dream land and before I knew it Brittany was on parole dreaming of Alicia. If you wish to write tell a story not fragments of it.

This is really awesome I hope you write more :)

I always wanted to find a story of women in prison and I finally did and I feel a bit let down. Th beginning and middle were good but I feel that you kind of rushed things a bit. I guess after a while you got bored or something because the way you ended it was like whaaat. But I'm still looking forward to the next part and if you have a reader wanting more I guess you've done your job. Just some advice for the future.

Spoiled Brittany befriends Alison in prison

The story ambles through the dehumanization process in prison. In the process, Brittany befriends Alison who drew a longer term. Paroled, Brittany misses Alison. The problem with the story is a lack of direction. However, it ranks as a good effort to fuse erotic elements into the story line.